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AIBU?

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Original poster

Weird online shopping situation

43 replies

flourella · 30/05/2019 14:37

I bought some items from an Etsy shop in Germany. A parcel was despatched with tracking and arrived on Tuesday, but it is not my order. It contains two items shown as being sold straight after I bought mine.

Messaged shop owner and he said that as the other customer was in the UK, we should exchange parcels directly.

Heard nothing all day yesterday, so messaged today asking if he knew if other customer had received my items. He said no, but that they are in Paris Hmm and the parcel has been sent to an address in the south of France and they will be travelling down to get it soon Confused. Gives me address of a warehouse and logistics facility in Cogolin; no individual to whom the parcel should be directed, just Warehouse Name, Street Name, Place Name.

I remind him that he said other customer is in UK, he says no, "certainly France".

I tell him I'm not comfortable with this, because if I send this parcel to this address but never get my items in exchange, I will surely have no recourse to a refund because I will have placed an order, accepted the parcel and then sent it on elsewhere unrelated to the shop in Germany. I think we should both return our parcels to him, and he can send them back out correctly.

He insists that the French customer needs their items and I should change my mind.

What should I do? Is it risky to exchange directly with a Mystery Person at some warehouse 500 miles from where they apparently live in Paris, or am I being overly cautious?

OP posts:
Original poster
flourella · 30/05/2019 14:37

Sorry that's so long Blush

OP posts:
Gorillaandme · 30/05/2019 14:39

Sounds like a scam. I would return items to original sender and let him sort it out.

Whycantistaymotivated · 30/05/2019 14:39

Send back to him, not your problem it has been sent incorrectly and certainly not your problem that the other customer NEEDS their items. So do you. You are not a courier service

Notthetoothfairy · 30/05/2019 14:40

Refund and ask him to arrange a courier to collect the items wrongly sent to you.

SmellMySmellbow · 30/05/2019 14:40

What the fuck? No, you shouldn't be posting anyone anything other than the item you didn't order straight back to the Etsy seller for him to sort. And demand he sends out your order right away or get a refund. It's up to him to suck up any loss. I am an Etsy seller and would send out the right order straight away with many apologies and then wait for the returns. (And i sell totally bespoke orders so would make a loss on this)

QueenofPain · 30/05/2019 14:42

He’s taking the piss. Like he can just pass his mistake on to someone else to sort out, proper cf.

PopWentTheWeasel · 30/05/2019 14:44

Go through Etsy and say the item you've received is not your parcel and request a refund. You should not hav eto arrange swaps with another buyer - that's a data protection nightmare. Why are you even considering giving a total stranger your address to send "your" parcel to?

Sallyseagull · 30/05/2019 14:46

Definitely send back. Don't even consider sending the items on, regardless of where they're going.

Sounds dodgy.

Original poster
flourella · 30/05/2019 14:48

Thanks. I know I'm not being unreasonable really, but at first he accepted my suggestion and gave his own address, then messaged back 10 minutes later to say I should change my mind and go along with his idea for the sake of the other customer. I feel a bit pressured and I'm a wimp at the best of times.

Unfortunately, the items are vintage and I'm very keen to receive my correct order, so I don't want to push him to just refund me and not let me have the things I bought. He was also very helpful, reserving the items for a few days for me so I feel I owe him something. But that's bollocks, right?

OP posts:
Mix56 · 30/05/2019 15:04

why should you pay postage to France ? or anywhere else ?
All this is his error, he can refund you, plus postage, plus get the other people to return

Imicola · 30/05/2019 15:06

This happened to me once with an item from America (the other customer was also in the UK). Ordered a vintage dress and got the most amazing vintage Red velvet jumpsuit... Would have been tempted to keep it if it hadnt been a teeny tiny size 😊
Anyway, yes, I sent the item to the other person and they did the same. But I agree if you never get your item it would make it more tricky to get a refund, so perhaps it depends on how much you paid for it. I felt like it would be much easier than returning to the states so just took the risk.

MrsJakeLovell · 30/05/2019 15:14

Would it be possible to protect the exchange with Paypal for both of you?

Piffle11 · 30/05/2019 15:21

If the French customer needs their item then surely he should be sending them another asap? What if you couldn't get to the PO for a few days … his story has holes, he just can't be arsed and is expecting you to sort it out for him. His customer service is not your problem!

Original poster
flourella · 30/05/2019 15:23

If we were both in the UK and the shop was in the US, I would give it more consideration, but I've got to send the parcel to Europe either way. Obviously it will take longer going through the shop but I don't mind that so long as I eventually receive my lovely vases.

No idea how to protect the exchange through PayPal, if it's even possible. Anyway, I've told him again that I'll only return the items to him and am nervously awaiting his reply probably telling me how much I'm inconveniencing him and the other customer...

OP posts:
coconuttelegraph · 30/05/2019 15:26

I don't know the rules of etsy but afaik it's a trustworthy site, why are you agonising over this rather than speaking to their customer services who I assume will tell both sides what to do

Jamsangwich · 30/05/2019 15:30

I smell a rat.

Speak to Etsy, immediately.

Open a dispute against the seller with them, explain what the seller has told you and tell them that you're returning the delivered items to the seller and want a FULL refund (including both sets of postage costs).

This is very much AGAINST Etsy policy, what they've asked you to do, and is probably going to remove all the seller protections you have.

I say this as a former seller, this is not right. Please please contact Etsy admin IMMEDIATELY.

longtimelurkerhelen · 30/05/2019 15:33

If you do return the parcel to the seller, get them to arrange to collect from you with their own courier (get a reciept upon collection). The seller could say they didn't receive the return and then you wouldn't get a refund either.

I would definitely raise a claim with Etsy direct. Seems v dodgy.

Piffle11 · 30/05/2019 15:35

I agree that doing a swap with invalidate any buyer protection you have. Don't be guilted into doing something you don't want to do, and be prepared to walk away from those lovely vases (which may not actually exist …)

Reastie · 30/05/2019 15:39

I had something similar with ebay, a seller accidentally sent me the wrong order and someone else my order. They emailed apologising and asking if either I coukd return to sender for her to repost the items to the right place or if I was willing to post to the right person (postage reimbursed) and if I was willing for them to do the same and be given my address. I said I’d prefer to return to sender for her to sort out, which she duly did, in this case it was an honest mistake. I personally wouldn’t be happy sending the item at my expense (pending reimbursement) with the hope of getting the right items in return. It might be dodgy or it might be a mistake, but I think just return them to sender using original packaging (I didn’t pay to post back, just wrote return to sender on the parcel).

mindutopia · 30/05/2019 15:49

Definitely return the items to him. My dh runs a business, in part selling through ebay and etsy. He would never leave a customer to sort themselves out in this situation. It's always up to the retailer to correct mistakes. You should be sending the items back to him (I wouldn't even ask permission, I'd go drop them in the post right now without waiting for his response) and he should be reimbursing you for postage. My dh would also probably refund postage paid for your actual items as a goodwill gesture given you've otherwise been very reasonable about this.

Original poster
flourella · 30/05/2019 15:51

I really don't want to open a dispute on Etsy in case it pushes him to refund and refuse to let me buy from him again. I know it's sad, but I'm an avid glass collector and I kind of love the vases just from seeing their pictures online! I feel as though I need them. I'll wait to hear what he says next and if he's still saying he'd prefer I sent them to France, I'll involve Etsy.

Should I also insist that he arrange the courier? I was okay (but not exactly delighted) with the idea of doing it myself and him refunding the cost.

OP posts:
Grumpelstilskin · 30/05/2019 15:51

That seller is either a scammer or a complete idiot. It isn't your problem to sort out. Contact Etsy and get it on record what is happening to protect your money. Do not send on the parcel to a third person. Oh, and most Etsy sellers who deal with vintage stuff tend to hang on and put stuff on lay-by, it's pretty standard. So, you really don't owe that vendor anything to put yourself in a vulnerable position. The seller should also refund you the postage costs, i.e. pay for you to send the parcel back! It is his massive cockup to rectify. What a total CF.

MRex · 30/05/2019 15:57

He can send a courier to collect from you and deliver to France, this isn't your problem. What if the glasses don't arrive so you get nothing, or arrive but broken, or if the parcel you're sending is broken? If you let yourself get drawn into a scam by not following the process then that's a shame.

neveradullmoment99 · 30/05/2019 16:02

I am in the camp of contacting etsy. He is an idiot or samming you. Its not your problem to sort out. I know you want the items, but maybe he never had them in the first place. If he pushes for a refund then tbh, so be it, annoying as it is. Its worse to be scammed.

neveradullmoment99 · 30/05/2019 16:05

What reasons did he give for the items you ordered ending up in France? Did he make a mistake. Currently etsy is on your side and you have recourse. If you send the parcel on to France, you will have none. You need to follow process on this one to protect yourself and if I were you, would say this to him.