To ask what constitutes a “nervous breakdown”

[AnotherPhantomPooer]

I’ve always wondered what people actually mean when they say they’ve had a nervous breakdown. When I was younger I went through something very traumatic and my perspective on almost everything and everyone changed. The stress of it all made it difficult to go back to work, I lost a lot of weight, had nightmares and became very weak. It felt like I was walking through quicksand every minute of every day. At the time and in retrospect I wouldn’t have called it a breakdown, despite the fact my life had irrevocably changed. It felt like the world had disappeared from under me. It took a long time to build myself back up.

Since the birth of my child I’ve again circled the drain. Again, all situational stress. My marriage is on the brink and something in me recently snapped and changed my perspective on things and people in a major way once again. Again, although very significant I would say my reactions are probably normal in response to extremely stressful circumstances but not necessarily a breakdown.

Am I wrong? Is what I’m describing a breakdown? Or am I off track?

I don't know if there's a universal understanding of the term.
I am reluctant to call what happened to me a breakdown, but I was barely able to function other than childrearing for several months. I couldn't concentrate, think for any length of time, acute anxiety etc.

I think my body had experienced too much stress and the mind took over, bringing everything back to basics.

. I'm sorry you had those experiences. I do think they make us stronger and more compassionate than before.

Watching with interest .... mine was due to enormous financial pressures and abusive husband. Much better now. Situation isn't fabulous but I'm stronger, and that's the difference.

A nervous breakdown isn't a proper medical term, so it can be used to describe different symtoms. If someone said they had a nervous breakdown, I'd assume some kind of mental health crisis which affects their life badly but which might be undiagnosed or untreated. I'd also consider this term to describe a temporary condition rather than a long-term problem.

People seem to use it to describe various symptoms which could be symptoms of many mental health issues - I've seen it used to refer to manic highs often associated with types of bipolar, or behaviours linked to depression, or even more serious psychotic symptoms.

I'd say that the term is often used for slightly more serious symtoms than a change of perspective, so I'd not consider this to be the sort of thing usually described as a nervous breakdown. (Although maybe this change of perspective is more serious and significant than your OP implies, in which case I could be wrong).

I think it would be helpful treatment-wise to attempt to get a diagnosis if you feel that your mental health is suffering and if you are struggling, because the umbrella term 'nervous breakdown' could suggest so many different symptoms.

I think it's one of those hyperbolic terms imposed on someone by a third party and then maybe they decide to go with it themselves.

How strange.
I was pondering this yesterday.

I went through a stage of thinking that I must be having some kind of breakdown, and I almost wished someone had diagnosed me with one, so I (and other people) would know what I was dealing with.

I have no idea what the medical definition is but if someone uses the term then to me I would assume a sudden loss of the ability to continue with everyday functioning due to a gradual build up of either stress, anxiety or depression (or likely a combination of all 3)

@aufaitaccompli Thanks for sharing. Are you still with your husband? I’m still with mine.

I think you’re right about the difficulty in calling it a breakdown. You and I were able to carry on (from the way I took your post) our duties, but at a very pared down level. Correct?

I agree these situations make us stronger.

It's not a clinical term, it's just a slightly old fashioned way of describing any kind of mental health crisis. So could be that people are referring to work related stress, anxiety, depression...any sort of mental ill health that's affecting their ability to function.

It does sound as though what you're currently experiencing is an understandable reaction to difficult circumstances. But just because mental distress is situational, that doesn't necessarily mean it will go away on its own without treatment. If you're distressed and it's interfering with your day to day functioning it's worth having a chat with your GP to see what support is available in your area.

For me it was like hitting a brick wall. I couldn't get over, under or around. I was just stuck there.

i had a complete breakdown some years ago and spent over a month on a psych ward. i literally couldn’t function, and was suicidal.

it changed my life irrevocably. i haven’t worked since, and have been under the care of secondary mental health services on and off ever since.

there were many contributing factors. i went from being a professional with a good job and lots of travel, to an empty shell. i lost everything.

no hyperbole here. just a wreck of a person who doesn’t know how to function in the world any more. if someone is in acute distress i would suggest that it’s better to try and help rather than just eye-rolling and assuming dramatics.

@FizzBuzzBangWoof Yes, that’s what I thought too. Like a friend of mine whose sister suddenly took to bed and didn’t move from there for a year. Apparently she “snapped out of it” out of the blue one day and was “normal” again. I always imagined a breakdown would be like this. A spontaneous regression to an almost catatonic state.

I don't really remember mine but didn't leave my room for a week and by the end I'd labelled everything I owned in red marker pen. Sat on the floor a lot staring at the wall.

I would agree with the pp. Although tensions might have been building for a while, we tend to develop coping mechanisms. The term breakdown suggests to me that the mechanisms also break down/stop helping and that we are left needing outside support/intervention to function. Symptoms may involve extreme anxiety, psychotic episodes, depression, and the physical symptoms that can go alongside - inabilityy to eat, vomiting, shaking, muscle spasms . . .

Have sat with 2 friends who have had such extreme episodes , both after periods of stress building up to it. With both of them it was extremely painful to watch and involved a long (years) slow recovery with lots of support from those around them.

It sounds as if you are under lots of stress and starting to wonder if you can cope without additional support. Please do reach out and get help. You do not have to let yourself hit rock bottom before you can start to rebuild.

Look after yourself x

@exWifebeginsat40 I’m sorry to hear of your situation. Do you know what brought it on?

I’m also sorry if you took it that I was “eye-rolling and assuming dramatics”. Not at all. I’m going through a rough time and trying to work through it. That’s all.

Thanks for the positive replies. I have sought help and working through it.

It's not a medical term, but I describe myself as having had a nervous breakdown a few years ago.

For me it's was a crisis of a number of very stressful life events mixed with the birth of my child, and anxiety and depression.

It was like hitting a brick wall and no longer being able to function even to do basic day to day tasks.

It was then a slow, slow process of recovering.

It’s interesting the words “brick wall” have come up a few times...

You poor love I'm really sorry you're feeling so low, I know it's all consuming and exhausting to be struggling so much.

Please go and talk to your GP and be totally honest about how you feel. You can ask for a double appointment - say your mental health is worrying you and you don't feel able to cope.

When I felt that way I wrote brutally honestly in my phone notes about how I felt and showed them the list on my phone.

This helped so so much because I was worried I would minimise or feel unable to articulate the feelings.

I can't tell you what a nervous breakdown is, it's probably different for everyone.

Please remember you don't have to be able to have your feelings labelled as that in order for you to be totally justified in asking for help.

Please talk to someone including your GP. Sending you lots of positive thoughts

OP I'm not. Marriage ended a few years back. Waiting for decree nisi to get through.

I can only speak for me but I am functioning far better without him. Yes I'm anxious, but the stress and depression are gone. No more panic attacks, no IBS, no falling asleep in work, no brain zaps, no palpitations, no night terrors.

Situations and circumstances are hugely influential imo. I had people around me that weren't supportive (and by that I mean they played everything down, denied me my reality, were impatient with me) Unfortunately ex was one of them. I was withdrawn and bloody sad. I went to counselling for years, practicing CBT and Transactional analysis...I worked so hard to be visible to him that I lost myself.

I know I am a worrier and can be very negative about myself. But I didn't take that out on others (not consciously anyway) and I heaped guilt on myself over and over again. I think that's a sign that things aren't great and that we're out of kilter.

Be kind to yourself x

It's not a clinical term, it's just a slightly old fashioned way of describing any kind of mental health crisis

I always assumed it was an old fashioned term too. I remember a girl in Malory Towers (maybe Ellen?) working so hard for her exams the doctor said she was on the verge of a nervous breakdown

I imagine the current description would be something like an acute stress disorder

I went through a bad break up in my late twenties and looking back had what I would call a "nervous breakdown".

I cried all the time, didn't show up to work or leave my flat. Did crazy shit like walking to my ex's house to stand outside in the middle of the night . Cut my hand with scissors for no reason.

I sort of calmed down as time went by but I definitely look back now as me having lost my mind a bit.

When I had one two years ago, I deteriorated to point where I couldn't do simple tasks. I was in a haze and everything was robotic and felt unreal.

I don't think there is a strict definition for it. I am getting better place now though.

To me, a ‘nervous breakdown’ would imply that the sufferer ceased to be able to function in their everyday lives, and would possibly involve a stay in hospital. I’ve been coping with emotional exhaustion for several years, because of my battle with complex PTSD resulting from my childhood SA. It’s been a struggle ever since the memories came flooding back when my DDs were small.

I haven’t had a breakdown. No one outside those who know me well would have a clue it was going on. What happens with me is that I go down with a nasty bug that floors me for a while and it takes me several weeks at least to get my limited strength back. This year, I caught flu which turned into pneumonia, which has cleared up but left me with zero strength.

But still not a breakdown, because I can hide it and still function well enough for my DH to work full-time and cope with normal things like shopping, school run and cooking.

Whether I would have coped if I didn’t have to I don’t know.

What you’re describing doesn’t sound like a breakdown, FWIW, but please try and do what you can to look after yourself, OP. Self-care is what my therapist calls that.

I have always assumed that 'nervous breakdown' is a euphemism for severe sudden-onset anxiety and/or depression.

I had one in my early 20's, everything about my state of function broke, couldn't think or function, and trying to carry on in this state compounded the problem and my symptoms. It took 4 years to get back on track, but much of that was coming to terms with the breakdown and peoples reactions to it, rather than the actual cause of the breakdown. I likened it to having a broken leg that people seemed to enjoy kicking!
Mind you, we are all a bit more enlightened as to mental health issues now, so seek help before things get worse and I know that it sounds corny but there is always light at the end of the tunnel (some tunnels can be frustratingly long), and what doesn't kill you can make you stronger.
When I was getting better I read about 'reprogramming' in the 1960's, its a henious thing that some parents did to their kids in the US. What I did learn however was that following a nervous breakdown, whilst your mind is being 'rewired' be very cautious as to how you put things back together and who is involved in the process. I would go as far to say that this information (although not intended as self help) probably saved my life and gave me the courage to have a good look at who and what circumstances had contributed to the problem- including ways that I had been unhelpful to myself. It was also very cathartic, and I almost wish that it could be perscribed to have one. (The middle ages definition of what 'sanctury' really was, was nothing to do with running to the back of a church to avoid arrest or punishment, it was an offer of sanctury from life for a while by Nunneries and Monastries). Best of luck with finding your way xxx

For me the word breakdown is associated with that brick wall vs a more slow build up.
Like you have been able to cope (at least in the surface) with things and then suddenly you can’t anymore.
I also think this implies that you have accepted you can’t cope anymore. I know, personally, it takes a hell of a lot for me to acknowledge that. So I might never say ‘I’ve hit a brickwall’ Or ‘I’ve had a breakdown’ because I always push myself so hard to ‘hide’ the issue. (I hope this makes sense) I know other people are much better than me at acknowledging they’ve reached their limits and say stop (aka having a breakdown) than I am (which I think is good btw. Pushing way over your limits take you down to a very dangerous zone imo)