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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To force my DS to drink?

57 replies

thetonsillolith · 30/05/2019 12:43

I'm so sorry but I am posting here for traffic because SN Children is v quiet.

DS is 4 and is autistic and had his tonsils out on Tuesday. We are as on top of pain as we can be, alternating Calpol and Nurofen every four hours. We are struggling to get anything into him whatsoever.

We have tried:
Water
Ice cubes
Crushed ice
Flavoured ice poles
Ice lollies (his favourite)
Ice cream
Cold milk
Cold milkshake

He won't drink juice or soda, never has.

Yesterday we had to resort to forcing him to drink, which was incredibly traumatic for all involved.

He cannot understand why he must drink, he just knows it hurts so he doesn't want to do it.

Any ideas? Soon it may have to be hospital and drip, which he would absolutely hate (and fight)

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MsVestibule · 30/05/2019 12:47

Is he still officially under the care of the hospital? Could you speak to them about it? Two days without any liquid (I can't imagine you managed to get much down him yesterday) is very worrying.

Yes, I would imagine the next step is a drip 😕.

Mabelface · 30/05/2019 12:52

You can alternate ibuprofen and paracetamol 3 hourly rather than 4. Will he eat yoghurts?

thetonsillolith · 30/05/2019 13:01

He won't take anything orally whatsoever

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thetonsillolith · 30/05/2019 13:02

I spoke to ward yesterday who basically said if he's dying then bring him to A&E and then we will see him. They were really unhelpful.

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Mentalray · 30/05/2019 13:13

Maybe you could draw him a quick story book (stick figures) about his operation and him eating ice lollies because they make his throat feel better. I found with one of my kids if I did a picture book (even with my bad drawing and very simple stick people) it got the message across.

You could also label the 'steps' of the operation recovery and go through the with him. eg 1 was the anaestetic, 2 was the doctors fixing his throat, 3, is him waking him up, 4 is the sore throat, 5 is eating the lollies to make his throat feel better 6 is back to normal...

Have you tried any things like that? I did that with getting my son used to the dentist (he used to scream and fight) It did help get him started.

ElizaPancakes · 30/05/2019 13:13

I think you need to be a bit tougher. He's 4 so will understand if he doesn't try a tiny sip of water, then the doctor will put a needle in his hand which will be worse. Also it will feel worse and worse as he doesn't drink as his body needs fluid to heal from the operation.

When I had my tonsils out, set yoghurts were good by the way. They're a bit slimy so slip down nicely.

ElizaPancakes · 30/05/2019 13:14

Apologies I missed the autism note so my post might be entirely useless!

Mentalray · 30/05/2019 13:14

I should have said 1 was falling asleep! not anaestetic --- has to be child like

thetonsillolith · 30/05/2019 13:25

He has moderate autism, so doesn't have the understanding of four year olds. In fact his language comprehension is at about 18 mths. I'm beside myself, I really am.

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ShawshanksRedemption · 30/05/2019 13:54

Social story using pictures. This one was created by a parent why shows the kind of thing that can be done - for your child you would just use pictures and talk in simple words: www.confessionsofthechromosomallyenhanced.com/2015/07/josies-tonsillectomy-social-story.html?spref=pi

He is taking Calpol and Nurofen orally? Then there is hope that it'll click that water is as good for him as Calpol/Nurofen.

Nearlythere1 · 30/05/2019 13:55

@mentalray that's a great idea

EvonneGoolagong · 30/05/2019 13:59

When my DS was ill and not drinking much I got him to have water from the calpol syringe. It’s not much but meant I could keep a track of how much he had and was easier to get it down him.

Holymolymackerel · 30/05/2019 14:00

I'm sorry to say I was exactly in your position 3 years ago with my asd son who was 3.
We did go back to hospital and he was readmitted back to hospital for 4 days (longer than the op)

It took quite a few medics to get lines in because he was dehydrated and he was also pulling them out. They managed it finally, into his foot.

It was a really distressing time, but now, the improvements to his physical health having had the op are brilliant for him.

Go to hospital, don't delay.

thetonsillolith · 30/05/2019 14:02

Oh @Holymolymackerel that is hard to read, I have a young baby at home so to have to leave them to be with DS would be v distressing for all involved.

I am taking DS to GP later today, hoping that they may be able to give us better pain relief.

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danni0509 · 30/05/2019 14:04

Can you calpol syringe the liquid in? I used to have to do that with my asd ds. 5ml at a time of water or juice or whatever, it was pretty brutal but it got some fluids down him at least.

He had his tonsils out last year & has moderate autism too so has the same sort of delays in understanding Thanks

thetonsillolith · 30/05/2019 14:09

We can kind of force it in. But he becomes very very distressed, choking etc. I'm not sure if we are causing more harm than good.

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Holymolymackerel · 30/05/2019 14:09

Yes, it is difficult, I also had another child. No amount of reasoning worked with him. The docs and nurses were stumped to how to help.

But hold to the fact that once he is over this part of the recovery, the improvements to his health are immense.

Having tonsils out is a tough thing to do for anymore so for our asd kids it's even harder. Hydration is so important to quicken the healing progress and also to support the organs after the anaesthetic.

Hang in there, you're doing a great job.

Atalune · 30/05/2019 14:09

Will he tolerate a wet flannel across his mouth to suck rather than swallow?

Social story is a good idea. What about acting the process out with favourite and familiar toys?

Good luck

64sNewName · 30/05/2019 14:13

Can you try very soft, wet jelly? When I had tonsillitis and could hardly bear to swallow liquid or manage ice pops (or even swallow my own saliva!), jelly was painless and soothing because you kind of don’t need to swallow. It slips down. It’s not a liquid exactly but I felt like it helped to hydrate me.

thetonsillolith · 30/05/2019 14:16

He will not take jelly, ice, anything.

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CreakingatTheWhinges · 30/05/2019 14:18

Syringing in anything is a good idea as is jelly. I don't know if you can buy over the counter but in hospital when a child is essentially nil by mouth post op, you can get little sponges on sticks that you can dip in water to do oral care. If you could get something similar, you could 'load' it a bit more with water or juice & dribble it in? Good luck

64sNewName · 30/05/2019 14:19

OK fair enough, it must be really hard. I just recall jelly was nothing like as bad as ice, water, ice cream or any of the normal suggestions that people claim will help but are in fact quite painful to swallow at that stage.

But he won’t know the difference if he’s too afraid to try anything. Poor little one and poor you.

thetonsillolith · 30/05/2019 14:19

Would a GP be able to prescribe stronger pain relief maybe? Possibly pain relief that he doesn't need to take orally?

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Booming · 30/05/2019 14:24

My son is 3.3 years old and had his tonsils and adenoids out last month. It was very traumatic for him. I won't sugar coat it but honestly recovery was harsh and brutal on him. For 3 days, he refused to drink anything. Nothing worked. No food no drink, only painkillers. By day 4, I was distraught and resorted to syringing water in his mouth. 20 ml every hour on the clock. I did it for 3 days. I won't even tell you how traumatic it was for him and how upsetting I found it. I knew he would end up in hospital even if I didn't do this though and he doesn't cope well in hospital. By day 7, he started sipping a small amount of fanta. It took 14 days before he resumed drinking well. Honestly it was the worst painful experience for him. I am really sorry, I have no advice. Just to let you know that I know exactly what you are going through.

Booming · 30/05/2019 14:26

Also, it has been life changing for him so far so hold on to the thought that he will have massive improvements in his life. Also have a just over one year old at home so it was very very hard.

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