AIBU to be so fucked off with my body

[Yousicktwistedfruit]

I apologies in advance this might be a long one and it’s probably a bit of a first world problem.

Sitting here feeling like crying me and my partner have been trying for a baby for 15 months and I’m still not pregnant we have been and got checked out waiting on the results of the tests I know from my internal that I don’t have PCOS but I’ve got a heart shaped uterus not sure if I endo an internal can’t pick that up. This week my period was suppose to start on Monday and it never it’s just started today but I stupidly got my hopes up and thought I could be pregnant and now I just feel like my body is trying to take the piss. I know IABU to feel like crying over this and it’s a first world problem I just feel so let down by my body.

Guess I just need someone to tell me to get a grip and that there are worse things that I could be going through right now.

I think all you can do at the moment is wait for the results of your fertility tests. They will then be able to discuss your options with you.

15 months is not a massive amount of time to be trying. Do either of you drink or smoke?

No telling you to get a grip or that it's a first world problem here, that thoroughly sucks. Best of luck with the next stage, whatever that may be, I hope you conceive soon.

@Vilanelle thank you I know the wait is annoying am also waiting for results for my sky high blood pressure. I did smoke but quit about 2 months ago. My partner drinks very very rarely and i’m tea total.

@MindyStClair thank you it really does suck and I’m just getting so fed up with it all now. Thank you am hoping that it all turns out ok and I get pregnant

Smoking can affect fertility but it could also be a million other things. Take care of your body and perhaps try acupuncture?

Ultimately the test results are most imprtant. At least then you can see if there are any problems.

@Vilanelle I know that’s partly why I quit I also quit to try and sort out my blood pressure but it’s not helped. Thank you I will look in to acupuncture also wondering if meditation might make me feel a bit better.
The waiting for the results is the hardest part but at least we’ll know what’s going on and if we need any help. Think I just need to give my head a good wobble.

Trying to conceive is the most frustrating thing ever when it doesn't go to plan, totally sympathise!

The good news is that you are investigating what the issue is so that you can find the best way forward. And statistically, most couples who struggle do get a baby in the end - the odds are in your favour! Good luck!

Same position. 2yrs trying, nothing.
But then I knew I have endometriosis but doctors did nothing. I eventually got one to listen and when for the relevant scans and Laparoscopy, turns out I have stage 3 endo and a frozen pelvis. So we can keep trying but have been referred to the fertility clinic to be given our options.

Push the doctors for a lap. Even if it’s not endo, it’s worth the check to rule it in or out and help your mental health.

It’s truly shit, I get that. Good luck

Not unreasonable at all. It's a horrible thing to go through and leaves you feeling so helpless.

I know those feelings all too well unfortunately. 9&1/2 years since we started ttc

@Talkwhilstyouwalk it is the most frustrating thing I’ve ever done when we started I had no idea how mentally and physically draining it would be you think it’s going to be so easy and it will just happen straight away and when it doesn’t you start to feel like your somehow defective. Yes and I just have to remember that whatever the answer is we will at be able to come up with a plan for what we can try. Thank you that’s made me feel a bit better about everything I just have to hope that we will get our baby eventually

@Pinkstars2501 I’m sorry I really shouldn’t be complaining you have it a lot worse than me good luck with the fertility treatment I really hope you get your baby. I will definitely ask about having a laparoscopy I know my mums sister has endo and PCOS and went through a few rounds of IVF she didn’t get pregnant though if I can have that looked in to and maybe ruled out at least I would have a better idea of what’s going on. Thank you good luck with everything I hope it all works out for you.

@MacavityTheDentistsCat it really does leave you feeling so helpless I’m now at the stage where I just give up on the whole idea because I’m so sick of feeling like my body is broken. Every month is the same thing it’s like Groundhog Day.

@Travis1 oh am so sorry I feel daft for complaining after only 15 months. Are you having any treatment or anything do they know why your struggling I really hope you get pregnant soon it’s the worst feeling in the world when it doesn’t happen.

Thank you everyone for being kind to me and not telling me to get a grip. For everyone who’s struggling like me I wish you all the best of luck and I hope you manage to get pregnant.

Absolutely don’t apologise! You’re feelings are entirely valid. I really hope everything works out for you... well for all of us struggling.

A heart shaped uterus isn’t a huge issue; I have one and carried a ten pound baby to 9.5 months.
Have you been checked for ‘ sticky blood’? My friend had umpteen mcs but has two DC now - she just started taking aspirin every day to thin her blood.
I know it’s impossible but - try not to worry!

@Pinkstars2501 thank you I probably shouldn’t complain I could have it much worse. Thank you I hope it all works out for you too. Good luck with everything.

@haverhill wow really that gives me hope I wasn’t sure if my uterus was part of the problem. No I haven’t been checked for sticky blood but I will ask about that as well I know the doctor was talking about putting me on aspirin to protect my heart from my high blood pressure. The doctor thinks it might be my blood pressure that is stopping me from getting pregnant because it’s really high and I’ve tried 3 different tablets to bring it down and nothing is working at the minute. Thank you I will try not just so hard to think positive but I know I have to.

It is hard as I’m in a very similar position to you.

Just try and let yourself feel however you do. Your emotions are hard to control when you desperately want something.

We’ve been TTC now for 2 years and some days I find it very hard to be around babies/children. Other days I feel normal and good about things.

@Ninegorgeousniecesandnephews thank you it’s so hard isn’t it. I just feel so upset over the whole thing and I don’t think it’s doing my depression any good because that just makes me feel even worse I have bad days where just seeing someone who’s pregnant upsets me what makes it even harder is that my cousin and his partner are due their little girl in September and finding that out was like a kick to the stomach. I have days where I think it will all be ok and am happy with the way my life is and all the things I have. Think my emotions are just very up and down at the minute. Never ever thought trying for a baby would be this hard. Good luck I hope you get your baby soon.