Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Child free nights

27 replies

Ssnn · 29/05/2019 23:56

If you have a child free night what would you do?

OP posts:
TheJoxter · 30/05/2019 00:01

Sleep! Grin

Original poster
Ssnn · 30/05/2019 00:03

Play football just like every week or a meal with your partner?

OP posts:
BackforGood · 30/05/2019 00:08

So, you mean, if you were already committed to something on that evening ?

Original poster
Ssnn · 30/05/2019 00:13

A hour kick about with whoever turns up

OP posts:
BackforGood · 30/05/2019 00:19

Yes - a prestanding arrangement with friends?
Go to that, then grab a shower and go out afterwards.

Original poster
Ssnn · 30/05/2019 00:28

Not friends as such literally just turn up and play. Doesn’t finish until 9 looking at 9:30 after a shower. Not many places to eat.

OP posts:
echt · 30/05/2019 03:27

When DD was babysat by her CM, who would only babysit from her home and only overnighters, we always went to see a film. And had a colossal lie-in the next day. Smile

To answer your options, have the meal.

FirmlyRooted · 30/05/2019 05:18

If a child free night is a rare occasion then definitely go out! A kick about can be missed, no big deal.

FenellaMaxwell · 30/05/2019 05:20

SLEEP

SoupySlide · 30/05/2019 05:45

If I had a genuine 'child' free night which included the adult stepchildren out of the house as well as the toddler I'd shag loudly in the living room and various other spots in the house. Chance would be a fine thing though.

Toddler-free, I'd go out with DP for some quality time. Meal out, chips on the pier, drinks, a long walk, something that is the two of us enjoying each others company.

Don't go to your kick-about. If it's an informal thing for whoever turns up, you can be one of the ones who doesn't turn up this week. Unless that's what you'd really prefer to do of course.

Di11y · 30/05/2019 06:26

if it's rare I'd go for a meal or cinema with my dh rather than football.

Butteredghost · 30/05/2019 10:52

Are you the kick about partner or the other one in this situation? If I was the other one, I would encourage my partner to go and I would enjoy the fabled everybody-free evening. Ahhh solitude!

If I was the partner who had prearranged to meet friends, I would still go but possibly stay out after.

Laiste · 30/05/2019 11:39

Yes, are you the kicker abouter or partner if kicker?

If DH and I are child free we stay home, start drinking with a takeaway at at about 7pm, watch a film and then shag drunkenly all over the house before collapsing into bed (at about 10.30 these days) Grin

freshstartnewme · 30/05/2019 11:42

If i played football every week it wouldn't occur to me to change it tbh.

If my partner asked me to miss it for a rare night out I would, but it wouldn't be automatic.

Original poster
Ssnn · 30/05/2019 15:46

Not the kick abouter but was hoping for a meal, alcohol and a chance to really talk without little ears and fun without little ears too! It seems it is all about perspectives.

OP posts:
freshstartnewme · 30/05/2019 15:53

Have you mentioned it? Or are you just expecting the other party to know?

Original poster
Ssnn · 30/05/2019 16:53

Asked but football won and a child free night wasted 😏

OP posts:
freshstartnewme · 30/05/2019 17:08

Ah that's different, I would be annoyed at that, definitely.

Pearlfish · 30/05/2019 17:47

YANBU - I would be gutted

mindutopia · 30/05/2019 17:55

We never have a childfree night unless we book them well in advance and pay for childcare, so if I did that and my dh went to play football (he wouldn't, he'd rather go to work than play football!), I'd be pretty annoyed I went to all the trouble and expense to plan that.

BackforGood · 30/05/2019 19:25

Why have you arranged the child free night, for a night when the other person is already committed to something ?

happymummy12345 · 30/05/2019 19:30

When we used to have child free nights we would sometimes go out for a meal or drinks. Or just stay in and relax. And have a lie in the next day.
We never have them anymore as we no longer have anyone who can have ds. Haven't had one for over a year and won't until he is old enough to stay out, or at home alone so we can go to a hotel or something. So not for many years.

Original poster
Ssnn · 30/05/2019 19:46

I didn’t arrange it as grandparents decided to have all the cousins. As I said an impromptu child free night so was hoping to make the most of a gift. Not planned but hoped we could have made the most of it rather than the usual.

OP posts:
Justkeeprollingalong · 30/05/2019 20:00

I'd be very sad if my husband preferred a casual kick about that he can do any week to some quality time with me.

BackforGood · 30/05/2019 20:56

This is about the perception of the football.
I see a regular thing I do on one night a week, as 'a commitment', so no, I wouldn't miss it, unless it were for some thing that were really special / couldn't be done at another time, not because I got a different offer for the same night.
That doesn't mean I prefer choir practice (say) to going for a meal with my husband, but, in joining something / being part of something, I am committing to being there each week. Different if it were Gran's 100th Birthday party or something that is clearly a bit of a one off. This isn't. You can still spend time with him, without the dc being around, just not starting until a bit later than you hoped.