Loo seat etiquette

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AIBU to ask my OH to put the loo seat down after he has been for a wee? Both my sons put the loo seat down (both parts) after every use. There are three girls in the family and we all put the loo seat down (and are becoming a slightly frustrated at the one member of the family that doesn't.

I've asked very nicely a few times and been told that it's something he's done well in excess of 4 decades and by asking more than a few times (subject been brought up over the last few years, perhaps once every few months) that I'm nagging.

Seat leaver upperer puts seat down when goes for a poop!

AIBU?

When I first got together with DH, I was pleasantly surprised to find he puts the seat down. I should thank his Mum one day - especially as he's one of three boys so well done her We have a rather "splashy" toilet so we've both had to learn to put the lid down as well for flushing.

I have two male colleagues with a unisex toilet. One leaves the seat down, the other doesn't and it really annoys me these days. I've obviously been spoilt!

I still don’t understand why men need to put the seat up in the first place there’s not that much of a difference between the seat up and down

I'm in the same domestic situation as MaidenMotherCrone with a DH & 3 adult sons, and I totally agree with her. Just put the seat down yourself, it's not difficult.

As for asking men & boys to sit down to wee - er, no. If they want to stand they have every right to do so. But they are absolutely expected to clear up any mess themselves & all my lot have been taught to do so.

In our house, you only put the toilet lid down if you are going to sit on it to cut your toenails or something. TBH, if I find the lid down on any toilet my first thought is that there'll be something nasty lurking under it, so I'll flush before I lift it.

I can't get worked up about it, to be honest. We're a one woman, one man, one boy, one girl household so we all just leave it as we last used it. I don't understand why women can't just put the seat down themselves if necessary, why would it be fair for men to have to do all the loo seat adjustments?

If you find the seat in a position that doesn't suit your intended use then adjust it to one that does! That's why they have hinges. And stop bloody moaning!

Makes more sense for it to always be down as men still have to have it down to poo so 3 out of 4 toilet trips are seat down used to go mad at my DP when going for a midnight wee and folding like a deck chair down the toilet

Dh leaves it up, I leave it down. Kids generally leave it down as both boys operate lift and hold whilst weeing all over the floor. Whoever needs the loo adjusts to their preference accordingly. It's not something I can ever get het up about tbh. But then we don't always flush for a wee (if it's yellow let it mellow) either so don't worry about splashing germs everywhere.

I'm so glad I've never cared about this. I'd almost prefer the seat be left up (I've got primary aged boys) so that there's no danger of pee on the seat.

It has a lid for a reason, seat and lid go down before you flush. It’s not about the battle between the sexes, who sits or who stands - it’s just basic hygiene.

Loo lid closed in my house! It’s the law!!!!

This has never bothered me, there are two if us in the house, male and female and we both use the loo differently (seat up or seat down) why one is deemed the way it needs to be left for the other is weird. Why can't my DP insist it should always be up and that I put it up after every pee? What makes my way right. Just put it down if it's up and vice versa and just bloody look at it before sitting on it I've never fallen down a toilet 😆

House rules

I bet you didn’t come up with the ‘house rule’ as a ‘house’, did you?

Anyone who has ever accidently dropped anything down a loo will know that the lid should be down unless it is in active use.

The is also a hygiene issue of water droplets when you flush.

“You can stay the night with me, providing you put the loo lid down” seems to work!

TBH, if I find the lid down on any toilet my first thought is that there'll be something nasty lurking under it, so I'll flush before I lift it.

Me too - lots of people who flush with the lid down don’t seem to check that it’s flushed properly!

men still have to have it down to poo so 3 out of 4 toilet trips are seat down

That's a bit simplistic. People have more wees than poos.

Say a typical person has one poo for every three wees. In a household of three males and one female every four visits would need the lid up 3/4 x 3 = 2.25 times, so the lid should stay up.

In a household that's more balanced (or even 2:1 male:female) the seat should stay down.

Seats need to be down

• to prevent splashy flushes spraying stuff everywhere
• so the next person who wants to sit on the seat doesn't have to touch the underside of the seat with their hands before using it.

At work we have one unisex loo and a male splashy flusher and I spend many happy hours crafting witty passive aggressive notes to stick on the wall above the loo for him.

I have never closed the lid to flush a toilet 🤨

a male splashy flusher

How does he flush so differently to everyone else?

I can lower the seat myself. It takes no time at all.

I take it you don't have a soft close loo seat? You could wet yourself waiting for that thing to go down!