Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

Original poster

To find this weird/rude

25 replies

TheJoxter · 29/05/2019 15:23

Walking to the supermarket. Reasonably wide pavement. I’ve got a buggy but still taking up less than half the width of the pavement, no obstacles, plenty of room for someone to walk past in the other direction. Person walking the other way stops. They’re usually rummaging in their bag/pocket/checking phone/whatever so I don’t think anything of it and keep walking only to get a very passive aggressive ‘you’re welcome’ shouted at me as I go past. They could have walked past without even having to move over from where they were already walking so I had no reason to think they were stopping so I could get past.

This seems to happen to me at least once a month!

AIBU to think this is downright weird? I’m usually very polite to strangers (I see no reason not to be, can’t stand people who are rude to total strangers for no reason) always thank people if they move out of the way or wait for me to go past in a narrow area or tricky passing place.

What other things do people do that you just don’t understand? I can’t think of any more off the top of my head but I know there’s loads.

OP posts:

herculepoirot2 · 29/05/2019 15:27

Do you walk very quickly? That can look like you have no intention of moving over.

Original poster

TheJoxter · 29/05/2019 15:28

herculepoirot2 I do walk quite quickly usually but not always, this seems to happen regardless! And I always keep to one side of the pavement if there’s other people around so don’t need to move out of the way anyway

OP posts:

BigRedLondonBus · 29/05/2019 15:29

This has happened to me. Someone standing out the way even when there is enough room then shouting you’re welcome when you don’t thank them, it’s really weird

herculepoirot2 · 29/05/2019 15:31

Hmm, then yes, bit weird. Maybe you underestimate how much space they need? It doesn’t happen to me.

StuntCroissant · 29/05/2019 15:32

OP I've also found people stop to let me past with the pushchair, even where there is plenty of space. I just say thanks anyway, because even though they didn't have to, they've been kind so it's only polite!

The rummaging/playing on phone while you walk past is confusing but it might be that they just took the brief opportunity of being still to find something in their bag or on their phone. Or perhaps they like to avoid eye-contact. Either way, of just say thanks to be sure from now on.

BigRedLondonBus · 29/05/2019 15:32

I think it happens more if you have a pram.

parrotonthesofa · 29/05/2019 15:35

Hmmmm this never happened to me and I had a double buggy for 3 years. I suspect you are underestimating the amount of space you take up and or walking v fast.
Just say thanks even if you think there's enough room. No harm done.

Original poster

TheJoxter · 29/05/2019 15:42

Am I supposed to thank anyone who stands still on a pavement near me just in case?? I tend to give people a little smile/nod if I’m not 100% sure if they’re stopping for me or not, just in case, but when someone stops and is doing something else on a wide pavement with loads of space I feel like it would just be a bit odd to thank them.

I suppose it’s passive aggressive ‘you’re welcome’ I can’t get my head around rather than the stopping, but then I’m not a very confrontational person!

OP posts:

Pipandmum · 29/05/2019 15:52

I walk with my two dogs and one is over friendly. We are between two schools do often cross paths with kids and parents with pushchairs. I always stand to the side of on a driveway even if plenty of room - I don’t want to give the dog opportunity to reach anyone (he’s very friendly and tries to kiss everyone he sees). I usually get a thank you. But it doesn’t bother me if not.
I think in your cases I’d just say excuse me or thanks whether you think there’s plenty of room or not.

Bluntness100 · 29/05/2019 15:53

Did you post this exact same thread before?

Original poster

TheJoxter · 29/05/2019 15:58

Bluntness100 nope, wasn’t me

Pipandmum I do understand people stopping when they have dogs and do always thank them then. Maybe I just need to start thanking everyone all the time just in case! I hate people thinking I’m rude!

OP posts:

Siameasy · 29/05/2019 16:45

Yeah I’ve had a passive aggressive “you’re welcome” when I didn’t realise the person was in a certain place to let me through (in a supermarket, thought they were just looking at something there). Found it very annoying and walked around the supermarket wanting to say something to them but couldn’t think of anything to say!

Yabbers · 29/05/2019 19:37

If lots of people are doing it, then you are taking up more space than you think.

People are always stopping and standing aside for DD in her chair or frame even though they don’t need to. They get a smile and a thank you every time because good manners cost nothing.

Original poster

TheJoxter · 29/05/2019 19:39

Yabbers the issue here isn’t people getting out of the way, I’m fine with that and always thank them, the issue is people stopping on the pavement, not looking like they’re doing it for me, then getting passive aggressive when I don’t thank them for something that I don’t realise they’re doing

OP posts:

ThenOutCameTheSunshine · 29/05/2019 19:40

People definitely do this. I've had it loads. I always say thanks but as you said you didn't think they we're moving aside for you anyway.

I think it's nice that they think they're being helpful, but it's still a bit odd.

Jojobythesea · 29/05/2019 19:43

Same as when you're driving and people pull in to let you past even though there's enough room

Yabbers · 29/05/2019 21:05

the issue is people stopping on the pavement, not looking like they’re doing it for me
If they are saying “you’re welcome” it’s likely at least a bit obvious.

Original poster

TheJoxter · 29/05/2019 21:16

Yabbers they say that once I’ve already passed them though

OP posts:

Yabbers · 30/05/2019 10:53

Yes, why is that important? It can still be obvious before they say anything to you.

If there are a whole lot of people thinking you are being rude, you are probably being rude, and it’s probably really obvious that they are standing aside. One or two, probably not but if it’s happening all the time, then the problem is likely you. You don’t think they need to stop, but they do. Thank them anyway.

Original poster

TheJoxter · 30/05/2019 18:24

Yabbers I’m going to assume you’re the kind of person who does this then, I would never shout passive aggressively at a stranger for not thanking me when I felt I deserved it! It might be rude not to thank people but that doesn’t make it okay to be rude back at them. And I’m not sure you actually understand the situation. Other people will be passing me just fine, random person decides they need to wait but are doing something else simultaneously so don’t look like they’ve stopped specifically to let me past then get all PA when I don’t somehow know to thank them

OP posts:

StoneofDestiny · 30/05/2019 18:32

shouting rude comments to someone to indicate you think they have been rude is weird.

Original poster

TheJoxter · 30/05/2019 18:42

StoneofDestiny glad someone agrees!

OP posts:

Drogosnextwife · 30/05/2019 18:45

The other day I was walking towards someone with a buggy, I move to the kerb side of the pavement so they can walk on the inside and they skip round me to walk on the road it's happened twice now (not the same person)

Original poster

TheJoxter · 30/05/2019 19:07

Drogosnextwife oh yeah I’ve had some of those too. And then on the other end of the scale you get those people who don’t get out of the way at all on narrow pavements when you’ve got a buggy so you have to haul the buggy on and off the pavement around them and they just ignore you... luckily don’t come across those ones too often though! (And when I do I don’t do the passive aggressive ‘you’re welcome’ out loud )

OP posts:

BlandAndBoring · 30/05/2019 21:58

Actually the other day, on the world's widest part of pavement, I stopped at the side to wipe my daughter's nose etc. A woman and her son coming the other way suddenly said "oh hurry up (sons name) look they have moved for us". Cue lots of rushing and a loud thank you.... I couldn't quite believe she thought I had moved over for them when the pavement is triple the size of a normal pavement. At least she said thank you though I was too busy tackling snot to acknowledge her thanks properly and she caught me totally off guard so I felt a bit bad.

Flip