Reported by our daycare

[THESUPER6]

I'm really worried, we have taken our 3 year old to day care until he starts school in September.
Everything was going fine until today when we had police and social services at our door.
It was over a mark on his arm which is a chicken pox scar after getting them in March.
We are devastated by the police and social services checked everything including our property and interviewed all the children, it was distressing to say the least as we were in work and they were with their grandparents.
We are in a contract with our daycare but shes made no contact over it and I dont know whether we are to continue as the police said or find alternatives and foot both bills as it's really worried us, they knew he had chicken pox a few weeks ago but put it down to a possible intentional burn

Seems unlikely they would report a mark to social services and the police as all children gets marks now and again. Is there more to it? Are you already involved with ss?

I get they have a duty of care, but FGS you'd have more bloody sense.
I'd understand if you'd have said. He was covered in bruises but Surely they should know what chicken pox mark looks like. Also children are bumping themselves all the time and If SS are to investigate every single scratch and mark on every child. They'll be doing nothing else.
Its a pity the Police and SS weren't so on the ball when baby Peter needed them

From a safeguarding perspective she couldn't inform you in case you had caused intentional harm and she was thus giving you a heads up that would allow you time to cover your tracks. I know that as an innocent party that's still extremely difficult to get your head round but she has a legal responsibility to report any concerns.

I know it's easy for me to say but I would try to see the small positive in that she clearly takes her responsibility seriously and followed procedure. If someone had intentionally hurt your child you would want someone to take that seriously.

Her reporting would not be personal. Her responsibility is your childs welfare and not your feelings. She can't take the chance that she ignored something due to not wanting to cause offence and a child ends up seriously hurt, or worse.

I am very sorry you have been through what sounds like an awful experience. Your child is safe and well and hopefully this will be the end of it. I hope you can move forward from this.

Expecting some huge drip feeds here

Either the daycare has made it sound worse than what it seemed or you have had previous with SS and a record for staff to keep an eye on your children

It could be your 3 year old has said something. I had a 4 year old with a scrape on her neck and when the teacher asked how she got it the child said “ daddy did it”. Once it was investigated it was deemed to be accidental and no further action was taken. You can’t assume that it was accidental up front though and the process has to be followed. The child’s welfare is paramount and is prioritised over your embarrassment or distress.

That's one hell of a chickenpox scar if it resembles a cigarette burn (which is what I assume was their reasoning for referral). I can sympathise, as I have a couple from getting it when pregnant that were so deep that they could only be hidden with Polyfilla.

Horrible for you, yes - but better than assuming 'oh, it must be from the Chickenpox he had two months ago' and doing nothing.

I'd get told when picking DD2 up from afterschool club 'we've seen some bruises, so we've put them in the Accident Book'. Meh. They had a job to do - had they been bruises that looked like grab marks or other non accidental injuries, I'm pretty sure they wouldn't have told me first and I'd have had a similar visit.

What country are you in?

Can't imagine the police or SS acting that quickly in the UK unless there is more to it.
Have you had other run-ins with your nursery/childminder? Do you forget to pick up etc.? have you forgotten to pay them and they're causing you trouble?

Seems a disproportionate response.

.

seems a bit OTT

This sounds totally bizarre. Are you in the UK?

This happened to me sister years ago......I think it was an impetigo scab on her arm that her respite carer reported as a cigarette burn. (( DD is disabled ))

No one smoke so the implication was someone had gone out, bought cigarettes and burned her DD. Obviously it was cleared up pretty quick since the difference between a.scab and.a burn is pretty obvious to anyone with half a brain.

Depending on how bad the scar was, I can see it resembling a cigarette burn.

I cannot speak to nursery providers, but in nursing we learn about things to watch. For example, bruises on the legs or on a toddler's forehead are likely down to unintentional injury - child barked a shin on something or toddler ran full tilt into a wall. Sometimes the acronym TEN-4 is used as a mnemonic: bruising on the Torso, Ears, and/or Neck of a child under the age of 4 is a cause for concern. We also get more concerned about round burns, "mitten"- or "boot"-shaped burns, and bruising to the arms.

It sounds as if this was one of those times where the potential for concern existed.

Were the grandparents at home with them?

Are you in the US?

From a safeguarding perspective she couldn't inform you in case you had caused intentional harm and she was thus giving you a heads up that would allow you time to cover your tracks. I know that as an innocent party that's still extremely difficult to get your head round but she has a legal responsibility to report any concerns

This is really not how it works, Early
Years practitioners are encouraged to involve parents in any referral and keep them involved at all stages. A referral would only be made without the parents knowledge if they believed doing so would put the child at immediate risk of harm.

I think you have to either continue - happy that you have a responsibile and well trained nursery or give notice and move your child to another nursery
SS are there to protect children and support families. They are doing their job, nothing more or less

That's really tough, OP. For your child's sake, I would try to keep him in the same nursery - just a few more months. I appreciate that this will be very hard for you though.

I’m very supervised that SS turned up so fast and with police. That would not happen in my county. SS would come within two weeks and investigate from there, they also would have insisted on taking to all members of the family, including parents.

@getback it can be how it works. It depends on the circumstances. Yes we have to inform parents of a Social care referral. However if it was thought that a child might be put at further risk from parents. Or it is a case of fabricated illness. Parents are not told as they could cover their tracks.

I'm a paediatric nurse. We see a lot of non accidental injuries.

This happened to a number of people I know at a primary school in the UK over tiny insignificant things. It ended with SS, sometimes SS+police, swooping in immediately due to the source of the referral. All of the cases I knew of were totally unfounded, think they were incredibly trigger happy and the safeguarding lead was replaced.

I can see this happening in England. A professional referral would have a reasonable amount of weight given to it. I can also see how a cigarette burn could possibly be confused with a chicken pox scar. I would be a bit surprised that they didn't send social workers only first to suss it out but it could happen.
These things are always best checked out, it should be easily enough sorted.