WIBU to send two of three kids to Disney?

[BruthasTortoise]

My DS (8) is Disney obsessed and is desperate to go to Disneyland Paris. My DS (11) would enjoy it too however my little DS (6) is non verbal ASD and absolutely hates airplanes, theme parks, crowds, people dressed up, fireworks and basically all the things that make Disney Disney. I have found a great deal for a few days over the summer - wibu to book it for DH and DSs 11 and 8, and I'll just stay at home with my wee boy where he's happy and take him to the beach / park / pool? Logically I know it makes sense but a part of me feels horrendous about denying my 6 year old a trip to Disneyland.

I think it woundd wonderful. You've kept your ds best interest at heart, while not exlmclueing your other children from the fun. You've compromised in a way that suits everybody.

Ds will be over the moon he gets tou to himself and also gets to go for days out that wonder upset him.

Other DC will absolutely love Disney!

You sounds like a fab parent, OP.

Equal doesn’t mean the same.

Use the time to focus on activities he loves without regards to how his siblings feel about those activities. Some day you may encounter a trip or camp or something that is ideal for your youngest. Don’t feel guilty about letting him have that when the time comes.

Sounds a good plan! ‘Needs based’ parenting. And the bonus that you don’t have to go ;)

Why take your youngest to something they would hate??? Sounds like the perfect solution as each child will get what they would prefer!

I think you’ve carefully considered the needs of your DC and came to a good decision. Your older 2 get a break and something fun and your little gets some one on one with you and things he enjoys to do as well

Your plan sounds perfect OP. Everyone will be doing the things they enjoy doing. It's the perfect solution.

Thank you all so much. I was really worried I would be absolutely slated - "what sort of parent wouldn't take a six year old to Disney" (hence asking for opinions on an anonymous forum before going ahead). I'd hate people to think he was being excluded because he has additional / different needs, it's just I can't think of a way to make it enjoyable for him. Thank you again

Absolutely perfect. You are not denying your DS of anything. It is not just logical, this is thoughtful, loving parenting.

OP, if you or anyone else gets questions explain just as simply as you have here. That includes your other two DC.

Do it, he would enjoy the time with you as much as the others would love Disney. So long as Dh is in agreement I'd do it.
Sounds like he wouldn't cope with disney anyways and would be miserable.

You’ve found a well-considered, thoughtful compromise. Sounds perfect. Well done, I hope you all have a lovely time

Disney is a holiday destination like any other. You won’t send a child somewhere hot if they hate heat or on surfing holiday if they hate swimming.
It’s fine.

you've probably tried him on a local theme park. If he doesn't like that, he won't like Disneyland either.

I am sure he will love some special alone time with you.

I agree that you're planning lots of lovely activities with your youngest, which sounds perfect and they get one-on-one time with you. Other parents might do something similar if they have large age gaps, for example.

I think that sounds absolutely fine. Just explain to your other DC why you are staying home with your youngest DC so they don't read any other reason into it like you not wanting to go with them and your DH. I think you are doing the right thing for your youngest if he hates a disrupted routine and loud noises, crowds etc which Disney will definitely mean. Just make sure next time you plan a similar trip your DH stays with your youngest DC and you go with the other two.

Sounds fab! They need a holiday from him, too. My DD goes on hols with my sister and her family as my son has ASD and OCD and is quite restricted in where he can travel. They'll have a blast.