To feel like an incompetent parent right now?

[username018]

DS turned 2 a few months ago.
His tantrums are slowly getting worse. It's never anything too misbehaved, just general pain in the ass stuff - refusing to walk for longer than 5 minutes and crying to be carried, being difficult getting dressed etc.

Today, DS has been in nursery. On collection, they told me that he'd been really misbehaved, pushing other children, not sharing, they actually used the word he was a 'danger'.

I've come home and just feel completely crap, I feel like my discipline isn't good enough and not sure why he's behaving like that!
AIBU to be worrying so much about this?

How do you deal with him when he's having a tantrum? It might just be a phase, or he might be learning this behaviour from somewhere.

A danger...at 2? Really.
Perhaps nursery are a bit over dramatic, go in and have a sensible conversation with them tomorrow. Make sure they are clear about what the issues are and come up with tactics that you both agree on then everyone is consistent in dealing with bad behaviour.
And remember toddlers can be little demons!

@Didntwanttochangemyname his tantrums at home are minimal, there's not really anything for him to tantrum about if you see what I mean?
If he tantrums because he wants carried when we're out, depending on how far he's walked I'll try the 'bye' trick and keep walking or just carry him.
If there's any other tantrum in public I tend to just pick him up and keep walking while ignoring it.

He's behaving like that because he's two. He's testing boundaries like mad. It's their job to deal with it. If he's truly a 'danger', then it's their job to safeguard the other kids, so they need to call a meeting with you and discuss the matter, and how to deal with it. If he is not, in fact, a danger to the other kids, they need to stop using such emotive and unprofessional language at pick-up.

In that case I agree with PP, he's 2, he's pushing the boundaries and the nursery workers need to discuss with you a positive method of dealing with his behaviour that establishes safe boundaries in a way he understands. Def have a word with them tomorrow. To call your son a danger is pretty over the top!

Feel your pain OP, also going through a key tantrum phase.
The two things that are working most for us are giving options (do you want to walk or go in the buggy?) rather than just saying no to something, and spending time slowly talking through their emotions with them ('you don't want to walk, you want to be carried. But mummy can't carry you for very long as you're a big girl now and quite heavy, and I need to push the pram/carry the shopping. Tomorrow we'll go for a walk with daddy and he can carry you for a little bit, how does that sound?'

Doesn't always work but has seemed to affect behaviour a bit overall.

Im with you polar bear. Those 2 things are key.

Also you could try observing amd looking fir what happens before the behaviour worsens. Is he tired/hungry/sad about something?