To want to cancel my wedding

[Mrswhite777]

New here so will try not to drip feed.
Supposed to be getting married in August to a partner of 5 year. As a couple we are solid but partner mother and family is insisting we call it off because I have anxiety and can sometimes struggle to cope generally day to day. Her reasoning behind this is because she doesn't want her son to have to care for me when I should be looking after him. Also his best man asked last night can he bring a plus one although I made it very clear the deadline was last week for numbers as I needed to pay hotel etc. It's not just a plus one it's my partners gf from school (over 10years ago now) which she sends him quite explicit messages sometimes about her image (gym girl) and pictures.

Although as a couple we are solid, I don't think marriage is for us due to the amount of people against it. And now he is saying I'm stupid for not really want his ex and bm plus one to come.

Someone please assure me this is normal or am I clearly making a stupid mistake

I too would consider calling it off, but because your partner is insufficiently supportive.

I called my big wedding off and a year later we married in a register office with just a handful of guests who actually meant something to me, never regretted it, that was 17 years ago. If you suffer from anxiety (as I do) you will not need that kind of stress in your life. I would ditch the wedding and go get married with people there who mean something to you.

I'd be feeling pretty anxious in your shoes with all that going on in my new-to-be-family and yes i would cancel the wedding (and run for the hills).

Sounds like you don’t want to get married and this is your way out. Thank god - why would would you want to be with someone who respects you so little I do not know. Take this and run.

Sounds like you need to cancel the big wedding and if you still want to get married, do it at a registrars office with people you love and trust.

OP, you mention that you struggle day to day in your first post - that does make me wonder if you have ever broken up with your partner before? I may be projecting here because I have a friend that does this, she has broken up with her partner on a number of occasions and seems surprised that his family are not as keen on her as they were!

As for the plus one - that's an absolute no from me! Not only is it too late, she doesn't sound like the ideal wedding guest to me! YANBU there!

He’s probably already shagging the gym-bunny ex, and if not he soon will be. The fallout will be epic, so if I were you, I’d walk away now.

Anxiety sucks big-time, but don’t let it push you into making the biggest mistake of your life - marrying a twat.

Assuming your partner has asked you to marry him and he is an adult. It has nothing to do with his mother
However, I have been on the other end of this, marrying someone with MH anxiety etc. My advice would be to sit down and with an open heart have a conversation with your partner about how he feels, as it in sickness and health BOTH WAYS.
This is the part that didn’t happen in my marriage and then MIL interfering didn’t help.
You both need to be sure you can support each other first as a unit, and everyone else opinions should come after.

I wish you well and hope your wedding is wonderful and joyful x

No we have never broken up, always referred to as the happiest couple etc etc. She doesn't like me because she doesn't want her son leaving her side, she's like it with all her children.

Why would you want to marry a man who is so disrespectful towards you? I really don’t think you are “solid as a couple”, I think you’re basically a doormat who is putting up with whatever shit your DP/his mum/his best mate/his ex want to throw your way. In your shoes I wouldn’t just cancel the wedding, I’d cancel the whole lot of them.