Upsetting comment from parent

[Ploppie]

My Father told me a couple of years ago that he didn’t like me when I was a child and Its eating away at me. I laughed it off at the time. I was a really well behaved child but he was a bit of a bully. We’ve always been a close family regardless although I’ve never really been a fan of him. Basically I’m wondering whether I should tell my Mother how hurt I am to explain why I hardly visit. She was there when he said it but probably doesn’t realise I’m still affected by it. She’s very sensitive so I don’t know whether to just move on and get over it.

Well they both sound toxic. I don't think you owe them anything.

That’s utterly horrible. No real advice but instead of telling your mother why you don’t visit much why not tell him?

If he rings and asks why you haven’t been to visit just say ‘sorry dad, I just don’t like you very much’

You say your Dad was a bully when you were a child. He's still a bully now, him telling you he didn't like you is the proof. It's time to go NC, call your Mum a couple times a week and if she asks if you want to talk to Dad just say "Oh I can't, very busy. I love you Mum, maybe we should do something together" then end the call

If you could get over it, you would've done so. He hurt you by saying it out loud - no one likes to feel they aren't liked, especially because parents are supposed to love their children, but the truth is, you felt the same way about him, it was just a personality clash.

If you don't feel you can say, "Meh - you can't like everybody and I'm not that keen on him either, oh well," and get on with your life, maybe you could ask him why he felt that way and why he chose to mention it now (did he mean, 'but now I do like you, now you've grown up.'?)

Otherwise, no need for big drama but try to distance yourself gradually. And, more importantly, understand that failure to love his child was HIS failure, not yours.