AIBU? Odd feeling of never being "done" having babies. Anyone else?

[Broodybutdone]

I've NC for this, because I want to be really honest, and some of this won't reflect well on me.

My youngest is a toddler . My eldest has started secondary school. Despite my name, I've never felt broody in the way other people seem to - cooing over the little fingers and toes type of thing - but I feel this strange longing for pregnancy/babies which I can't quite explain.

I am an introvert and like my own time, and I'm not baby crazy, but the early months of my children's lives have been the happiest of mine. They have brought so much joy. Each time I've had a small baby, I've felt this indescribable sense of rightness, that I'm doing exactly what I should be. It's like being reborn myself. Every day feels special and precious.

Each time I've held a newborn in my arms, I've been totally awed at the fact their whole life is stretching before them, full of potential. It's intoxicating. I love caring for my babies, I love going to groups, I just love it all. In general I have really enjoyed being a mother.

I have extremely difficult pregnancies, and struggled with infertility for years before having my children. My first pregnancy was blighted by some awful things that happened at the time, and I didn't feel that I could enjoy it. My last, however, was very healing. Physically gruelling, but emotionally I felt so at peace.

So here's the difficulty. I will not be having any more, but even though I have my beautiful children, I can't get my head around the thought of never doing it again. Even the painful bits in hospital. Just everything about it. I suspect in a way I'm still trying to make up for the traumatic time I When I see people announcing pregnancies, especially first ones, I still get pangs of jealousy and nostalgia and longing.

I have a very rich life, so it's not that I've lost myself in my children. I work, am happily married, have a great circle of friends and hobbies. It's just greed really - greed for something so exciting and lovely.

DH and I did briefly talk about one more, but it's a definite no. I'm not done - will I ever feel done?

Can anyone else relate? I know it's so silly, as my youngest is still tiny,but it's just really struck me recently that the "baby/toddler/preschool" stage is almost over, forever. I'm surprised by how it's made me feel

Yes, absolutely. I have 3, youngest is 7, it's emerging that 2 may have ASD. There is no way I could cope with another child, or want to add to our family. But I still long to be pregnant and have a newborn. I think some part of me always will. I also enjoyed the newborn stage hugely and felt enormously fulfilled in a way I never had before.

I often dream I'm pregnant and about to give birth!

I think it's pretty normal, as long as you don't keep having children because of it!

Mine is a slightly different situation, but I emphasise.

Years of infertility I had my DS almost five years ago via IVF and have loved parenthood overall, and can second having those feelings you described during the early months. Loved the groups, teaching him everything, watching him develop.....ALL of it. Two further infertility treatments however have been unsuccessful and I'm rapidly heading towards 40. I love our life, I have a fantastic DH, good job, good friends etc etc but I always assumed I'd have a second child and so really don't feel 'done'. People talk about accepting the family you have and I manage that most of the time, but I still have my moments of sadness over what I'd ideally like to have. I worry this might never leave me!

I feel the same to be honest and am concerned. We have 3 and I shouldn’t want a fourth but I do 🤷‍♀️

Get a hobby for yourself.
I know a lovely kind lady from the school, total introvert she has 6 DC, her DH has 3 from a previous relationship so 9 combined, she is trying for another, I can't understand it, What is she trying to fill? What can she possible get from another child that she doesn't have from her existing children, she struggles week to week to pay activities, gets government top ups, she will have 4 teenage girls, at some point to provide and look after, she'll still have young ones too.

I have 2, and definitely no more. I hated pregnancy, every second of it. But I love my 2 children. I miss the baby days. I miss holding a newborn. I loved that stage, and would love to relive it. I couldn't handle 3 children though.
So I can kind of relate. Its nostalgia for the tiny newborn. I dont know if that will ever go away, but focus on the joy still to come.