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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Mothers group mean girls

2 replies

Whocutdownthecherrytree · 28/05/2019 10:13

Looking for your thoughts on this. I’m a FTM living in a city with no family and only moved here 2 years ago so I have a limited support group. My new parents group is big, like 16 of us. We’ve been meeting since January this year (bub is almost 7 months). I’ve been trying to build friendship with these women. Text individuals for coffee, send private messages of support when I know they are having a hard time. I haven’t identified any of “my people” but I’ve been trying to develop a wide support network... anyway 2 weeks ago I was invited to a afternoon wine and cheese thing by one of the women I had asked to meet for coffee (she changed our coffee date to join in of the wine and cheese). It was with a group of 5 mums from mothers group who have clearly been hanging out a lot as a smaller sub group. I felt a bit out of place, but I felt they were nice and was grateful to be included. While I was there one of the girls added me to their group chat on WhatsApp. A week of lots of messages and chats about various Mum things go by, at least 20-40 a day. The following Friday we had a pizza lunch at another girls house. After I left the lunch the group chat had suddenly gone silent. 8 days without messages.
It dawned on me today they have made a new group chat and effectively kicked me out.
It’s so hurtful. I don’t think I said anything that offend anyone. I felt I was supportive of other mums and listened etc.
A couple of them I had really wanted to be friends with. I thought they were cool.
We had our big 16 strong meetup today (we have a weekly catch up). I was happy and enjoyed myself, but this evening it’s dawned on me what they’ve done and I feel pretty rubbish about it. I feel embarrassed and humiliated. Part of me wants to message and ask if I’d offended someone. But I don’t want to create drama. Has anyone else experienced this kind of obvious rejection? AIBU to be really upset about this?

OP posts:
NorthEndGal · 28/05/2019 10:20

I would not read so much into it , and just make a new chat you start with the people you want in it.

GetMeOffThisCycleOfMisery · 30/05/2019 19:27

I wouldn't dwell on it. Despite how hurtful the situation is for you.

You can't force friendship and I would say don't waste time on the mean girls, try and cultivate individual friendships with the couple of ladies you clicked with.

Then keep on doing what you're doing. Join other groups, check out the meetup app for other mother baby meets and make friends in other places.

Don't waste your energy on bitches. They aren't the sort of people you'd want in your life anyway. Flowers

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