To be sick of the endless medical stuff?

[QuestionableMouse]

My mum is unwell (diabetic, RA, mobility problems) and I do 90% of the caring for her. This week alone I've taken her to three appointments, had a horrible scare where she had severe chest pains that required an ambulance and spent the night next to her in A&E waiting for test results.

She's had three lots of surgery in the past year, one of which is still healing (more appointments for that). But she also doesn't take care of herself (eats crap, only drinks pop, that sort of thing)

I feel like my life is an endless string of driving her to medical appointments. I'm currently sitting in the doctors while she sees her GP. I feel like an utter cow posting this but I need a break from it. I feel like it's dragging me down. My dad doesn't drive so can't help (and he's unwell himself) and my sister has her hands full with the kids. I should be at home revising for an exam tomorrow but I'm stuck waiting.

Sorry this is more of a vent than anything but I just needed to get it out!

It’s so tough but you need to take a step back. You can’t do it all. At the bottom of her hospital letters it should say how to arrange transport for hospital appointments for people who don’t have another way of getting to hospital.

Yes I agree with hospital transport. Even if you only use it occasionally it’s there and can give you the break you need. With waiting and traveling even a routine appointment takes hours.

I used to take my relative to all medical appointments. That and having to stay overnight when relative was really unwell Was a massive pressure. I took the decision about 4 years ago to step back. I now only attend some medical appointments. I was using up a massive chunk of holidays on them and it wasn’t sustainable. relative now uses hospital transport or sometimes taxis. Relative sometimes creates drama about this saying that I don’t care... i explain that I wouldn’t go at all if that was the case but I can’t use up all my holidays on them and I do have my own home and family that I gave to look after. It’s hard but set your boundaries and stick to them. Good luck with your exam.

It will be hard, but you need to set boundaries. Are there more routine appointments that you could leave your mum to arrange hospital transport for? You could save up your time for the less routine or more scary appointments only - at least initally. And then transition to as few appointments as possible.

Your sister could help if she wanted to, and your reasons for needing your time for yourself are just as valid as hers. Family commitments to your children are no more or less important than your educational/professional commitments to revising for exams. You would do well to remember that your time is as important as any other person's time.