to ask if anyone has any POSITIVE experience of family court?

[macrametimes]

I've withheld access to my child from my ex due to emotional abuse and genuine safeguarding concerns for my child. I am justified in this.

I've heard that many judges have poor understanding of coercive control and EA. All I hear is horror stories of them siding with the abuser. Part of me thinks 'that can't be right' but I'm also not convinced that the judge will listen to or even try to empathise with me when it comes to it.

Anyone any positive experience?

Not me but a family member. Her ex got one email a month with one photo. He was absolutely awful to her, and went into court saying how bad a mum she is but never actually mentioned their daughter. He also has to do an anger management course, and 6 drug tests and then contact will be reconsidered in 6 months time. As far as I know he never actually put their daughter in any danger, would shout and scream at the mum Infront of her which was enough for the judge.

I had an amazing judge myself. I had a solicitor and my ex didn't turn up.
I was listened to and the judge decided to get the prohibited step order and the access arrangements one on the same date instead of coming twice.
It's, I'm hoping, not about luck but just someone doing their job properly
Good luck

Bad experience and they basically encouraged me to still be present to the perpetrator.

Thanks @Nameusernameuser @LeukaeLucky - that's encouraging to hear. Shouting and screaming in front of kids is all too close to home for me  I would just sit there and take it.

@Skyejuly sorry you didn't have a good experience. I've heard this a lot. Really looking to hear about positive experiences on this thread as I've read enough negative to keep me going for a lifetime!

My court experience was stressful but the outcome good.

The judge agreed with me that ex needed to build an independent relationship with DD in a supportive environment so referred us to a contact centre for about 6 months.

Then said that contact was to move away from the centre and build gradually, I put forward what I was happy with, the judge agreed. Starting at 2 hours twice a week, then adding an hour every month until it was 9 - 5.

When Dd started school/nursery I set out what I was happy with and the judge agreed. Was set at 1 day during the week 3-6, EOW but no overnights until she was 5. Alternate Dds bday / Christmas Eve 12 noon until Boxing Day 12 noon, parents bdays and mother’s /Father’s Day with relevant parent.

In reality Dd hates staying away from home, never sleeps overnight and we are flexible with contact at weekends and school holidays to fit with ex’s work patterns, inwork termtime only so it’s not an issue for me.

I think the key is to offer a reasonable amount and they have no reason to not go with what you suggest.

Dds dad was horrible during the court process, sending awful texts and emails, I didn’t respond just showed them to my solicitors. Dds dad was an awful boyfriend but appears to be a good dad and Dd enjoys her time with him.

Oh @Skyejuly that's shit. I asked no direct contact myself and it was agreed. He needs to go through his mum or contact centre because of DV. He's never hurt the children but the judge felt like I had the right to be protected too

I should point out that I left ex when I was pregnant as he would shout and throw stuff around and smash things up and it was an environment I didn’t want my baby bought into. So he had to start from scratch as he had no relationship with her.

That's interesting @Singleandproud - I left mine when my son was 3 months old. He's not much older than that now. It's awful how common domestic abuse is 😥

Yes. My dd2’s father was extremely emotionally abusive and controlling. I got a prohibited steps order at the first hearing (after he’d kidnapped her), and that was the last time he saw her. 2.5 years and 19 hearings later (thank god for legal aid), he was given a zero contact order for dd’s Entire childhood, non mol order for life for me, and a further order that he would not be able to apply for contact without first going to court to satisfy them that he had changed. That’s unlikely to happen as he has a personality disorder which is near impossible to treat. It was very stressful and like a full time job for me to deal with it all, and I was very lucky to have an amazing legal team.

Just to add that final order was put in place because the court recognised that he was using the court process as a way of tormenting me, so it was a gatekeeping order to protect me.

Gosh @Islands81 that sounds draining. You must've been exhausted! But relieved when it was over. Sorry you had to be dragged through that and thank goodness you were listened to!

My experience was positive in the end but my circumstances are very different.