Recently NC, but have been on mumsnet for a little while. I'm mostly looking for confirmation of whether or not I was being unreasonable.
To keep it brief and from going into way too much history, I have an older (middle aged) brother, who's fumbled his way through life (I can't judge, I'm disabled and live with my mother). He's borrowed and not repaid about $30,000 in the last 10 years from my mother and I ($3000 this year alone) and we simply can't afford to do it anymore. He never pays us back, and what he does, he re-borrows a week later.
He moved about an hour and a half away for a (he thought) better paying job, but it worked out that he's even broker than he was before, and moved in with a girl he barely knows. Unsurprisingly, she threw him out after a fight and left him nowhere to go.
He called us looking for money for a hotel, but we finally said no. We offered for him to come and stay with us, but he refused, and demanded money for a hotel, we said no, that if he wanted to remain where he was, he would have to pay for it himself (no money) or sleep in his car (safe area, 24 hour stores with safe parking lots). He finally chose to sleep in his car after much begging and pleading, and we sent him a small amount of money for food to tide him over.
I'm just wondering if we were being unreasonable, or if we should have given him the money? Technically we could have afforded it, but the money was earmarked for a medical procedure we need to pay for, and as a middle aged man (who earns double what we do combined), isn't it time to stop relying on the bank of mom and little sister (both of whom are on disability as their only income?).
Sorry for the long post!