AIBU to ask your opinions on changing last names professionally after marriage?

[Reasonsnottobeanidiot]

I'm starting a new job this week and getting married in a months time. It is in my chosen field and dream career path, and it is a very relationships based field and so I will be very "known" by my name as I progress up the industry.

I didn't mention my wedding at the interview (obviously, why would I?). I'm double barrelling my name but this won't be done until I return to the job from honeymoon. I would like to be known by this name in all my life to avoid confusion and would prefer to join the company as the new version so as to not change it later.

Would it be strange to email HR and ask for my email/etc to be in my new name from when I start? The process to actually change by deed poll will take a couple of months so this could be confusing for them with national insurance/banks etc. I wouldnt want to change it after starting and so would probably just stick to my maiden name if this isn't appropriate, but I would much prefer to use one name across the board.

Thanks so much for any advice!

It seems like a sensible idea to me. Saves confusion and extra work for HR a month or so down the line. Congrats BTW!

Why will it take a couple of months to change your name? You don’t need a deed pole unless you are creating an entire new name. I double barrelled my name, I just used my marriage certificate, it was fine as it was clearly just my maiden name and husband’s surname.

I’d just join as your new name to save hassle, if they’ll let you.

Why do you need to do deed poll?

I’d stick to your birth surname at work, personally. Why dilute the recognition of everything you’ve already done under that name?.

@2toddlers and Heptapod - apologies, I haven't looked into this enough yet (was saving that piece of admin for after the wedding!). I thought this was the way you went about a double barrel and I'm relieved that it isn't and will be a bit easier.

Re changing my name now - I'm relatively new and unknown in the industry and so this would be a good time to go forwards using one name in both personal and professional life. If I had been in it longer I would stick to my maiden name, but it just feels a bit simpler to use one in all instances as I don't have a reputation at this point.

That being said - I'm worried about looking less professional for mentioning something personal about weddings to HR before I've even started? Or being judged for choosing to change my name?

I would just tell them when you discuss your contract. I think that sounds fine. I work in a profession where you are very much known by your name and I changed my name (completely, no double barrelling) after about 5 years in the field with existing publications under my maiden name. Honestly, no one cared and it wasn’t hard to change things or establish myself under a new name. But purely from the perspective of not annoying HR, I would tell them sooner than later as it will mean someone has to go change everything and it can be quite a lot of work to restart all those processes.

Starting off with your double barrelled name sounds like a good idea, but be aware that you are likely to have to show ID when you join so they can confirm your identity, satisfy themselves that you're allowed to work in the UK etc, so I don't know if they will have any issue with wanting to use a different name to your 'correct' name, but if you explain why, they should be OK with it.

Most women still change their name when they get married so I wouldn't worry about being judged for that and it's becoming more common for men to also go double barrelled, or even a new 'joint' name, so you'd only get judged if you come across some old fashioned stick in the muds and who cares about their opinion?

Crikey, HR aren't sensitive flowers! Name changes are commonplace and a basic admin task. I would just tell them that you wish to be known by new name at work, email address, telephone lists etc. You can then update with HMRC info when you have it for payroll/pension. Enjoy your wedding OP!

Thanks all! Really helpful and appreciate the reassurance!

I was mid-divorce when applying for my current job and intended to go back to my maiden name. Really quick conversation with HR and it was all sorted in the 2 weeks before I started (including the Christmas shutdown).

Oh, and you can simply change your name to anything you like by completing a declaration of name change and getting 2 people to countersign it. I've never done a deed poll or paid a penny and I changed everything - bank accounts, utilities and mortgage, passport etc.

I wouldn’t give HR your new name before the wedding. Anything can happen between now and the wedding (knock on wood). Also, that’s not your actual name until you actually change it. Think about it: your pay checks would be in the wrong name; in case of a legal situation or a report where you need to be named, they wouldn’t have your actual name. Just leave it until after the deed poll is done.

I applied for my current job pre wedding, and started afterwards. I asked HR if they could update my name to my double barrelled married name, and they asked me to bring in a copy of my marriage cert before they would do it.

I never bothered and stuck with just my own name, but it might not be as straightforward as just informing them of the change.