To think that sightseeing in London is incredibly stressful and not enjoyable

[EllebellyBeeblebrox]

We've just got back from a long weekend in London, using AirBNB. Kids are 5 and 9, and I'm 24weeks pregnant (which, I admit may be affecting my feelings on this matter)
We've had a lovely time, the kids thought the zoo was wonderful, enjoyed the tube, and the river taxi. I however am utterly shattered and drained and have the following gripes...

1. There was at any one time about 50 other people trying to walk in the same square metre as me. In all directions, like crazed and manic ants.
2. People just stopping in front of me randomly whilst walking to take a series of selfies in front of a lamppost.
3. Everything is horrendously expensive. £5 for a small gift shop key ring, aggravatingly underneath a sign which said "pocket money toys".
4. QUEUEING EVERYWHERE
5. Rude people pushing and barging and generally invading all personal space
6. The realisation (mainly at the Tower of London) that I have less than minimal knowledge of British history, and indeed the French family behind me in the queue knew more about various kings and queens than me. My children also seem only to be interested in historical things that are either gruesome and bloodthirsty (prisons/dungeons) or childishly amusing (Henry Viii's codpiece). Sadly the same could be said for me.
7. Big Ben looks like a building site and Westminster tube station smelled of piss.

Am I a total joyless bastard? Should I have been more enthralled at the historic and cultural sights? I'm so happy the DCs (mostly) enjoyed it but I'm utterly fucked, my feet and back are in agony after marching around for three days and not sleeping on a sofa bed. I'm so happy to be home

LOL, please don't expect a 5 and 9 year old to be earnestly involved on an educational level with anything that isn't basically at fart or blood level. Well, if they're anything like mine, at that age.

It is crowded, isn't it? And some places don't smell the best.

And you're 24 weeks pregnant with a 5 and 9 year old - you're EXHAUSTED!

Personally, I love London, warts and all. I only do very few tourist attractions (I love the London Eye, still have to see the Tower of London), and somehow, manage to tolerate the madding crowds. . . my kids flatly refused to come today (now 13 and 15).

I think most Londoners stay well away from the centre at weekends - I do anyway!

But when I’m there for work during the week, it’s hard not to get the giggles at the long queues waiting to take selfies in phone boxes.

I saw a group of people blocking a walkway to photograph a PIGEON

I lived and worked there for seven years - it can get really busy. Things I'd recommend -

Don't go in school holidays - it's crazy busy.
Do it in bits - the odd weekend a year, not adjoining school holidays. Day trips are good if you live close enough.

Do attractions first thing - as early as you can, then hit the parks when things get busy, and have a picnic if the weather is good.
In general Autumn is a good time, but check euro bank hols - I was surprised sometimes how the whole of Spain or France seemed to be in London on a particular weekend before I was told it was a public holiday where they were. I think the first w/end in Dec is a Spanish holiday - was a nightmare when I was trying to book hotels for work. Ditto big events like Cup finals, Rugby Challenge Cups, big concerts etc.

As a Londoner I'm sorry you didn't enjoy your visit, but it's a city where people live and work, not a theme park where everything is set up and sanitised for tourists.

It's ALWAYS busy. People take selfies everywhere it's not unique to London. It's a bank holiday weekend and there have been three football finals at Wembley this weekend as well - of course there are queues. Also the fact that Big Ben is undergoing renovations has been well publicised.

EllebellyBeeblebrox
Were they Japanese? They seem to photograph everything

Never go in school holidays - definitely one to sneak a couple of days in term time to make a long weekend in my opinion!

Ah I know I'm being a bit grumpy about it polly, I did enjoy it I'm just shattered. I do love London but preferred where we were staying in Barking to the centre! I totally get that the majority of the annoying behaviour was from tourists (like myself ) I think
I'd lose my shit if I had to manage the tourist crowds on my way to work though.

Lol. I'm a Londoner and I agree for the most part. I rarely venture into zone 1.

Ahhhh I love London

I saw a group of people blocking a walkway to photograph a PIGEON

If I stopped & waited for clusters of tourists to move, especially when they’re taking photos, I’d never get anywhere. I don’t barge or push but you do get very good at a loud, firm “Excuse me” as you weave through them.

Londoner here too and what PollyWolly said.

You'd really hate NYC for queues and selfie stops. Paris too but you have added dog shit on the pavements there.

You can't really blame London for showing up your lack of historical knowledge though OP, that's taking it a bit far.

When my DSs were about 10 and 6 we went to London on the train and did many, many tourist things. On the train on the way home, many, many hours later and much money spent, I asked them what their favourite thing was. Immediately and unanimously they said it was when the taxi in which were driving honked its horn.
We didn't go again!

No that's my own failing Holly. I'm going to binge watch some Horrible Histories for next time.

It's half term, of course the tourist spots are busy.

One of the highlights for my two was hearing the Derby County fans singing their way swearily through the station

Heavily pregnant with two kids and sightseeing in central London on a bank holiday weekend? No to that!

I’m a Londoner and your trip does sound stressful to me.

I bloody love London
I love the hustle and bustle
Being packed on a tube in rush hour is a highlight for the kids 😀

Oh yes I love some HH, helps that I have ridiculous crushes on at least two of the actors.

I agree with you OP. I want to like it but it is horrid to visit.

Are you sure it wasn't the children. I spent a day on my own in london yesterday whilst my kids and dh were at the football. I had such a great time and it was really relaxing. Tate in the morning, pimms on the south bank roof garden, street food market, potter around Harrods and watching the skate boarders in Hyde park. I love London and everyobe I may was so polite and helpful.

I like these two

And yes birds, they did add to most of the stress levels!

Being packed on a tube in rush hour is a highlight for the kids

Yes! They're the two .