Do I attract disrespect?

[IABUQueen]

I feel disappointed with myself whenever someone treats me like I don’t exist.. I feel there is something I’m doing wrong to give off the vibe that I’m a push over even though I’ve tried to deal with it.

I am naturally kind to others anemic maybe too nice.. I realised two years ago that this doesn’t work in the adult world and I started to work on not being too nice and friendly and to just be kind and keep a safe distance.

However it’s been a tedious process as a lot of the people who know me from before still seem to think I’m a push over by nature and I can’t seem to get the respect that others so easily get for themselves..

I’m constantly required to justify my every decision, scrutinised, have no privacy, judged, and put in line if I’m not compromising and bending backwards. The same is untrue for everyone else around me and the people treating me this way don’t treat others in that way but instead respect boundaries.

So I wonder why I attract disrespect... and I’ve been working hard to make it not be the case but it seems like there’s a lasting impression about me that it’s going to have to be a constant struggle amongst those who knew me from long term.

Anyone experienced the same ? Transitioned from being a doormat people pleaser to a self respecting lady and manages to reshape that impression ? Any advice ?

In the same boat, no advice but hope someone has some. 💐💐💐

Hi
I've done it. The trick is to absolutely genuinely, deep down not care if the other person is displeased with you. It doesn't work if you stand up for yourself while simultaneously thinking, 'Please still like me. Don't be angry with me. I'm only trying to stand up for myself, which is only fair etc.'
You have to practise thinking, 'My behaviour is perfectly reasonable. Your response to it doesn't interest me at all. It's not my business how you react. It;s only my business how I care for myself and at the moment I'm focusing on caring for myself as well as I can.'
It's hard work but it's liberating and it does become much easier. Earlier today I caught myself fretting at how a very manipulative close family member would feel about a recent self-preserving decision I'd made. Then I just told myself: He's behaved appallingly for years. Your reaction is healthy. If he manipulates or bullies you because of it, the way to deal with it is to calmly walk out of the room and stay out until you feel 100% fine.