Is he drinking too much? AIBU to start telling him no?

[Toomuchvodka]

My partner works in the oil industry. He works away for 5 weeks and then is home for 3/4 weeks. We have 2 DD 5 and under.

During his time at home he will drink around 10-12 times. I don’t mean have a few beers, I mean get drunk in the house. He doesn’t go out to the pub for hours on end which I suppose I should be grateful for but he sits and drinks in the house to the point where he is very drunk.

He keeps telling me he knows he needs to cut it out but every time he has a drink it’s “his last one before he goes back to work”.

Is this too much drinking? It works out he’s drunk every 1/3-4 nights. Our eldest daughter is 5 and she doesn’t notice but I don’t want her to start noticing his drinking and think this is normal.

It is too much. Can’t see that you telling him will make much difference though.

It is a bit much and I think your daughter is more than old enough to notice unfortunately.

My OH does this. He will dri k on his own almost every day and i dont know how to get him to stop. My 5 year old and 4 year old have frequent conversations about how daddies drink beer and mummies dont. When they are playing and stuff. It is absolutely heart breaking.
I have addressed it and he joined an online alcoholics group thing for a week 2 years ago (after 3 years of moaning/ begging pleading and 1 short break up) he now denies he ever had a problem after about a month being sober.

I have given up but i really dont know why. I guess i got tired and i wont really leave him.
Just try to shield your daugjter would be my advice. And if you ever get a break through- put it on here so i can have a go too

Way too much my husbands also works away 4weeks / 4 weeks and has a few beers not even each time he comes home, last trip home he drank 1 night in the 4 weeks as we were at friends. Unfortunately lots of offshore guys do have drink problems and I'd say that's your husband is on the verge of having a issue. You are not unreasonable at all to tell him not to drink. I would ask him to limit his drinks to 2-3 beers max once a week unless it's a special occasion.

I don’t drink much (twice this year I’ve had a drink) so I don’t know if I’m being harsh or not having a problem with him drinking this amount

There is a website called “one year no beer” and it’s basically a website you pay for support to stay away from alcohol. He told me he was thinking about trying that, surely if you have to pay for help then you have a problem??

He’s actually a very happy drunk so our relationship isn’t being affected by this. It’s just the financial side of things and more importantly the impact it might have on our daughters without him even realising