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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask whether to allow dd16 to go to NASS festival?

19 replies

Luciaia · 27/05/2019 09:13

Dd has just informed me that a few friends are going to this festival and she’d like to join them- I’m inclined to let her go as have watched her stress over GCSEs and so would be nice for her to enjoy herself as much as possible this summer. But before I say yes was just asking if anyone knows of/ has been to the festival and what it is like generally?

OP posts:
Proseccoinamug · 27/05/2019 09:24

She’s 16. Can you actually stop her?

Luciaia · 27/05/2019 09:26

I think I can Grin. Even if I can’t I’d like to know what where she’s going is like but at 16 I’d like to think that being her parent she’d listen to me if I told her she could not go although that may be wishful thinking

OP posts:
KittyMcKitty · 27/05/2019 09:30

I’ve just looked it up - it looks fab!

I would let her go - my 16 year old (year 11) is going to Reading Festival with all his friends. Festivals are a post gcse right of passage.

pasanda · 28/05/2019 08:47

My ds went last year. He'd just turned 17. Had a fab time although was v hot as it was during the heatwave and there's no shade!

He's going again this year so it must have been good Smile

Manclife1 · 28/05/2019 08:54

Having worked at a number of festivals there’s no way I’d let a 16 y/o go without an adult also going. Far to risky.

ForTheLoveOfDoughnuts · 28/05/2019 09:01

I've been to NASS twice. Great festival.

I've been to 10+ different festivals. Before any festival, I'd have an honest discussion about drugs & alcohol. There will be both there. I know she's 16 and it seems young. But it's worth being open and honest. Making sure she knows how to stay safe and look after herself.

Figure8 · 28/05/2019 09:08

Of course OP can say no!

But I agree with having a frank discussion.

Perhaps if you think going for the whole weekend is a stretch, she could just go for the day?

ChampooPapi · 28/05/2019 09:10

@ForTheLoveOfDoughnuts I couldn't agree with this more. You can't stop your children from doing these things and you definitely don't need to endorse them!

But teaching them how to stay safe if they do drink or do drugs is the best form of protection. I've volunteered in a drugs project in Bristol and they all say this too, it saves lives but many parents would rather not have that conversation.

There's a lot of advice on the Bristol drug project website and Frank of course.

One big bit of advice they used to give was always crush up any mdma so you do small amounts and never take whole pills.

It sounds like encouragement but if they are going to do it they will do it anyway and this information has actually saved people from death.

No one should do any drugs really, including alcohol but once she is there she needs the tools of education to inform her choices.

ChampooPapi · 28/05/2019 09:11

Eating and staying hydrated if she plans on drinking is also essential, especially if it's hot Smile

skippy67 · 28/05/2019 09:11

Mancliff what nonsense. My Dd went to Lovebox for the first time when she was 16 and is still here in one piece. As are all the friends she went with.

Figure8 · 28/05/2019 09:26

One big bit of advice they used to give was always crush up any mdma so you do small amounts and never take whole pills

Dear God!!!!!!!!

I absolutely understand that if they are going to do it, then this is a safer option.

But... I'd be more inclined to try and scare the shit out of them with facts on why it's a bad idea to take it in the first place?
Am I being naive?
I've lived to a great middle age, been to more than one festival and never needed to take those sorts of drugs to have a better experience.
Genuinely interested in whether people think the drug taking is inevitable

ChampooPapi · 28/05/2019 09:37

@Figure8 I don't think it's inevitable but with this advice most of the deaths that have occurred from these substances could have been avoided.

There are also drug testing stations now at some festivals, not just to identify the stuff that is lethal but also to identify if you've actually got want you think.

Often they test pills and they are full of heroin for instance.

Information is power

ChampooPapi · 28/05/2019 09:42

@Luciaia also educate you daughter on spiking/leaving drink unnatended. Even if she is t total soft drinks can be spiked of course too.

She shod definitely be aloud to go, all her friends will be there after all so I think that's better then her going another time maybe with less support, even if she is older.

Just equip her with the facts of festival times, drink, drugs, safety as far as looking after each other

ChampooPapi · 28/05/2019 09:54

@Figure8 it really is more likely that knowing the facts more often stops someone from doing the drug in the first place.

Terrifying unbelievable stories just don't work. That's been proven. However telling a teenagee that the pill they may take could be full of heroin would certainly put many of them off.

Same as telling them that after doing the first two lines of cocaine it stops working because your dopamine has done a huge dump and there's non left so it's basically a pointless 'high' to chase.

These facts actually work for prevention as well as keeping those safer for those that end up using a drug at a festival ect.

Saying 'people do coke then become crack heads and die in doorways' just doesn't cut it when a load of beautiful glittery young cool things are offering you 'a line'. It actually does the opposite as that person can not equate that narrative with the people they are seeing using (after all some of these people could be successful lawyers or doctors ect)

Much better the have the science, the facts. Then they really can say 'no thank you, that drug is terrible because it actually stops working really fast, does loads of damage to your mental health as you don't repaire the dopamine you loose for six months after. Not worth it for a line of powder thanks!'

Strengh , confidence and education is the most important thing for us to install into our children in all other subjects so why not in drugs, sex, alcohol.

shitholiday2018 · 28/05/2019 10:11

To the person saying don’t tell them the detailed drug advice, please do! The underlying message is ‘a whole dodgy pill could kill you’. It’s sobering, trust me.

As someone who became very ill after take only half one time, pls do give this advice. Also refer to drug testing tent I’m guessing will be there too?

At 16 I thought I was god. I wish I’d been given a bit more advice from my very liberal, very naive parents.

Luciaia · 28/05/2019 13:33

Would definitely be talking to dd about drugs as although she’s never given me reason to believe she’s been involved in them she is a risk taker and adrenaline seeker and so can see her being caught up in it all

OP posts:
Manclife1 · 28/05/2019 21:45

@skippy67 well done you! But having seen 100’s of teens off their face on unknown drugs ( unknown because they’ve no idea what they’ve taken) being dealt with by medical staff and police I’ll stick with my experience rather than you’re anecdotal evidence of 1 family member.

PotsOfJoy · 28/05/2019 22:15

I'd let her see Four Owls and then encourage her to come home because everything else would be shit.

stucknoue · 28/05/2019 22:26

I'm worried about dd going at 18 and there's over 100 going from her school (Reading)

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