Men with babies...

[Ploppymoodypants]

So, I know I am being unreasonable, and no one has done anything remotely wrong, but this happened today.

Went bank holiday clothes shopping with DD who is 6 months old. She is v content but started getting a bit fed up in a shop so I took her out of pushchair and jiggled her about to cheer her up amid the chaos whilst DH tried on clothes. All fine. However then DH offers to hold her so I can try on clothes. Brilliant, good teamwork. But with 5 minutes he has been approached by various women and men to chat to him about how cute his baby is, and ask him all sorts of questions about her, and him, offer him a chair to sit on. They are all pulling faces at DD and finding things for her to hold. And we were in hollister so he was lapping up the attention from the 21 year old shop assistants. But to be fair the guys were just as chatty and DD was giving them all her best gummy smiles. Now is this a thing, or did DD suddenly look much cuter with DH holding her, or maybe I just looked harassed and unapproachable?!

It went a bit wrong for my husband- he gets loads of comments about how nice it is for children to spend time with their grandfathers! He just laughs it off thankfully!

We used to take the baby to nursery on the bus on alternate days, and DH had a much friendlier time of it than I did. He used to get offered a seat all the time when carrying the baby in a sling, people would just spot them and leap up. I got sighs and eye-rolling when I even asked.

DH spent a week in hospital, I managed everything as normal with two DC's plus visiting etc, dh got lots of visitors. No offers of help from anyone.

My appendix burst and I was in hospital for a week. People were taking our children to school, bringing food, the three of them were treated like kings-DH didn't even have to go to work!

I still get this and my son is four, when he was a bit younger (two) random women would sometimes offer to help in the park etc (when there was nothing tricky to be done), it is very strange, mums don’t need less help than dads and it’s a bit weird to offer random strangers help unless they are clearly struggling.

My son often responds with “i don’t have a mummy” when people (usually women) tell him that he is lucky that daddy is taking him out, which then leads to them thinking his mum must be dead!

Blimey, failing to see how you're getting worked up about this.
Yes, it might be annoying that men holds baby and get cooed over whereas us mums just get ignored and seen as the normif we do the same, but it's people being nice! Just go with it instead of trying to find offence.

I agree they are just being nice, but the undertone is still there, isn't it. Take the phrase "hands on dad" for example. I've never been described as a hands on mum, even though I very much am. Taking an active parental role as a father is seen as a special achievement, whereas for mothers, it's just expected.

Prince Harry for instance is being described everywhere as a "hands on dad" despite his multiple (I think) trips abroad following the birth of his baby. If Meghan was out and about on engagements or otherwise at this point she'd be completely trashed in the press for being away from the baby. Just my hypothetical opinion of course, but I am sure of it.

Remember the Athena poster of a hot bare chested guy holding a baby? Sold like hot cakes. Imagine a woman holding a baby? Wouldn’t sell one, I reckon. So depressing.

Very true.
Sometimes it gets ridiculous. My ex is genuinely convinced that I am inventing the need for childcare, as every female middle-aged neighbour would simply love to look after our two young children for a day a week for free. Go and knock on five doors, introduce yourself and the children, bring biscuits, that's it - childcare sorted. Worked for him. I am not making it up, it was written in his court statement.