Aibu not going "the legal route"?

[Lowkal]

2 years ago I started seeing somebody casually. We slept together once, and split shortly after. I fell pregnant and he knew from the beginning. I found out he was with somebody while we were seeing eachother. My DD is 18mo next week. Her DF has never had contact with her but would occasionally check in to make sure she was alright. He has since had another DD with his longterm DP. Ive met somebody else too and he has been a very good father figure to DD.

Now her DF wants to get involved and I do believe he's committed. My family think I should cut off all contact and go through court but I just want to do things civilly and see how it goes. I don't think it will be all sunshine and rainbows, I know it's going to be difficult and confusing for DD but I think if we can do it as a team then it'll be alot better for her. My family and DP think I'm being selfish and stupid. I just want to know if I'm being unreasonable from an outside perspective, and to maybe get some advice from other people in similar situations.

I don't think you're being unreasonable at all. If you believe he's committed, give it a try informally and if it doesn't work out, you can go down the formal route and say that you tried!

If he wants to be involved and means it, he's going to be around for the next 17 years - it can only be beneficial if you can set that off on a peaceful vibe! Involve DP fully.

Do they understand how 'the legal route' works? You'll have to have mediation which you'll have to pay for during which you will presumably work our all the details you are seemingly quite capable of working out yourselves.