To not want to stoop to her level?

[dummarodum]

Have some friends over for dinner and one of them is making my blood boil. She's already passed comment about how when she has children she's not going to let them dictate her life (when I left the table to tend to my crying baby because he wanted a feed), she made a comment asking "are you going to eat that too?" (insinuating I'm fat- I am but I'm 8 months post partum and still have weight to lose- plus this is not the first time she's done this) and then when I went to heat something up, she threw a strop asking me but to since she didn't think she'd want some. I told her that was okay but I'd heat it anyway just in case someone else wanted it and if not, I'd have the left overs tomorrow - she paced the room and said "bloody hell... no wonder..." and then I think I heard the word 'weight'. I'm bloody livid but too polite to make a scene. Usually, I'm diplomatic and when she has a strop (and she has many), I say something like "hmmm, interesting you think that..." etc. But my patience is wearing very thin with her.

FWIW, she's the wife of a friend of mine. My DP and I adore her DP but she's such a fun sponge and always has been. He did tell her to calm down and she made a comment but before I had a chance to respond, my baby started crying again and I had to leave the room. What should I do to tell her to back off? I can be very assertive when I want to be but I just can't be bothered with her and definitely do not want to create a scene in my own home.

Sorry- the title should've read- how can I tell her to back off without being sucked into a standoff?!

If you don’t hear her properly, ask her to repeat it. If you do hear her and she’s being offensive, repeat it loudly and tell her you find her unnecessarily rude. Call her out and ask her why she’s being so fucking rude. Call her put on every single imagined or real slight. She needs to learn some bloody manners.

No need for a standoff, you just call her out, tell her she’s rude, ask why and when she has no answer, just walk off and talk to someone else. Leave her looking like the twat she is.

Just ask the bitch to repeat herself, or the old mumsnet classic 'did you men to be so rude?'. Seriously, she's in your house - tell her to leave if she's being so overtly nasty

'It's so easy to be an expert on babies and pregnancy when you've not actually had one yet' tinkly laugh.
Or just a big 'fuck off'

Ah... life is too short

Just tell her she is being spectacularly rude and that you’re hosting her and she’s being ungrateful

Or smile sweetly, and get shot of them ASAP and make a mental note never to invite her over again!

Your dp can invite his mate out for something, but she can stay at home

I would have said to the ‘are you going to eat that too’: ‘yes it’s yummy if I do say so myself’ with a big smug smile. Then when she starts muttering about weight say ‘oh my husband loves me with some curve, I’m enjoying myself’ with a cheeky wink.
As for baby interruptions, say ‘I’m so loving my baby - he just needs a cuddle’. Make her think you’ve got it all (hopefully you do).

Even if her husband was the funnest person ever I would not have invited her over. Still you know for next time.

She sounds awful.
The next time she says something rude to you I would simply say that there is no need to be rude and especially not in your own home, if she feels the need to continue, you would prefer it if she left.

Life is too short to put up with this sort of rubbish behaviour. You also don't need the hassle of all this running and re-running through your mind - you should just be enjoying your family.

I suppose locking her in the shed isn’t an option?

‘Did you mean to be so rude?’