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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask if you would send a child to a private school only for primary?

144 replies

Completelyhypothetical · 25/05/2019 18:18

The reason I would consider this is because with wraparound care included it would work out the same price as state school plus childminders and or after school clubs.

However would it be then emotionally distressing for the child to be withdrawn?

This is a hypothetical scenario by the way!

OP posts:
Gomyownway · 25/05/2019 18:38

Most advice I’ve seen has said that going private for primary and sixth form isn’t worth it, whilst for nursery and secondary it is. So on that basis I probably wouldn’t no.

MissChananderlerbong · 25/05/2019 18:41

I would
I went to a private primary and then a state (grammar) secondary.
The grounding I had in my primary set me up very well for secondary... I'd already learnt French, had proper chemistry lessons, had proper hockey lessons etc etc
So it wasn't new to me and as a consequence I was very confident going into year 7.

Applesbananaspears · 25/05/2019 18:42

I did with 2 of mine. No issues as people are willing to sell their souls for our state secondary. The only comments I got from parents was how lucky we were not to have to pay fees any more.

Hollowvictory · 25/05/2019 18:42

What are the school fees and what is the cost of wrap around care in state school?

modgepodge · 25/05/2019 19:10

I teach in a private prep and every year I’d say it’s roughly 50:50 state:private for leavers destinations for y7. However within the state leavers a large number go to grammar; of 20 kids this year only 3 are going to the local comp, last year we had maybe 4 or 5.

I’m considering doing it myself - however even with a staff discount and free wrap around care because I’m staff it won’t be cheaper than state school plus a childminder (but in my opinion private education is better - I’ve done both). Can’t believe a non staff member could possibly find it cheaper, unless it’s a v cheap private school (does it stay cheap up to y6?) and extremely expensive after school provision in their area!

Myimaginarycathasfleas · 25/05/2019 19:51

Worth it if you have a selective school you are hoping to get them into. Not sure otherwise. Mine went to an independent school, the school holidays are longer, did you realise that? So extra childcare will be needed for those days. Also, don't just consider the fees, think about extras like uniform, music lessons, school trips, things that your DC might be expected to take part in. It might add up to more than you think.

I wouldn't choose it just for the childcare benefits.

FizzyPink · 25/05/2019 19:55

I went to a private primary and then a grammar for secondary. I so wish my parents had made me also go to private for secondary. In private primary it was cool to be top of the class and doing well was very much a good thing. Whereas when I went to secondary even though it was a grammar school with the popular kids I fell in with being clever wasn’t a good thing. Im ashamed to say that in my first year I purposefully did worse on maths tests so I was put into the second instead of top set.
I also massively missed having small class sizes, when I wasn’t doing well in ALevel chemistry in a class of 25 I was very envious of my boyfriend doing the same course with only one other student! That’s what you’re paying for.

Scottishgirl85 · 25/05/2019 19:55

I really don't see the point but quite a few friends have done this.

Bythebeach · 25/05/2019 20:01

I’m surprised it genuinely works out cheaper than wraparound. But to answer you question, we’ve done this for out 3. Well for the older two. Youngest still only 6 at private primary. But that’s because we have reasonably decent but not super selective grammars here so a safe-ish bet for secondary.

Stuckforthefourthtime · 25/05/2019 20:03

I think you need to check your maths.

Your fees won't cover wraparound, which is normally also more expensive at private schools - plus you'll have more school holiday to cover.

hellodarkness · 25/05/2019 20:39

"Most advice I’ve seen has said that going private for primary and sixth form isn’t worth it, whilst for nursery and secondary it is. So on that basis I probably wouldn’t no."

But surely that's assuming the cost of private education vs the no-cost of state education. If they both cost the same, as op claims, then that advice is moot imo.

Abbazed · 25/05/2019 20:42

op. Said wraparound is included. I have a feeling we are after the same school

Br1ll1ant · 25/05/2019 20:44

Wrap around care at one local private is free from 8-6, so they do differ.

Dana28 · 25/05/2019 20:49

If they can really provide a school day of the same duration as state school plus wraparound for the same price as wrap around, alarm bells would be ringing that they will have gone bust by xmas

kaytee87 · 25/05/2019 20:52

Wouldn't they then start secondary school with no friends?

kaytee87 · 25/05/2019 20:53

I'm also really sceptical that the sums work tbh.

I don't think it's worth it for primary only.

TildaTurnip · 25/05/2019 20:54

I would. The primary year’s are so overlooked and childcare stressful!

CurlsandCurves · 25/05/2019 20:57

For those saying the maths don’t work, my friend has done just this for her 2 for precisely this reason. I’ve no idea on the numbers, must depend on the school fees and whereabouts in the uk you are.

Floralnomad · 25/05/2019 21:00

Our dc went private to 11 and then to Grammar , as did most of their year group .

hotdecaftea · 25/05/2019 21:03

My eldest is at state secondary and we sent him to private primary. He settled easily, though was apprehensive before he started. We chose the private primary for its small class sizes and confidence building. And the state secondary as we hoped he would have local friends. Not sure where he'll go for sixth form!

hibbledibble · 25/05/2019 21:04

I'm also sceptical about the sums. Round here after-school clubs are £10-12 per day but private schools are £5000+ per term. Then longer holidays, for which there won't be any Playschemes.

If the private school is cheaper than £12 a day (how??) Then I would be very sceptical about the quality of education that it is able to provide.

FormerlyFrikadela01 · 25/05/2019 21:05

In private primary it was cool to be top of the class and doing well was very much a good thing. Whereas when I went to secondary even though it was a grammar school with the popular kids I fell in with being clever wasn’t a good thing.
I went to state school and it was the same. I don't think that's anything to with school and everything to do with teenagers deciding something is cool just because.

JacquesHammer · 25/05/2019 21:08

We did.

9 years at a private prep, then has gone to a small, selective grammar. We didn’t need to tutor for 11+, and the level of education plus her sheer happiness throughout her primary years made it worth the money spent.

arethereanyleftatall · 25/05/2019 21:08

If the private school is cheaper than after school club for 3 hours, then it's cheaper than, what, £15 per day. That's a crazily cheap private school and is be curious why it's so cheap.
I imagine those on this thread in support of private school are imagining a more normally priced private, which is £50 - £100 per day.

notquiteruralbliss · 25/05/2019 21:26

We transferred our DCs to a fee paying prep because it was way more child friendly than the local state primary ( which they hated). Their experience st the prep meant that they started secondary school enthusiastic about learning and about school in general.

They didn’ tgo to ptivste secondaries as we like in a grammar school area and the private secondaries are mainly for DCs that did not pass the 11+.