To be annoyed about this. Sorry long

[Northernsoulgirl45]

So Mothers Day this year was a bit of a let down. We did go out for a meal but tbh wè do this fairly frequently anyway. The kids couldn't be bothered to even buy me a card or make me a cup of tea. Dh apparently couldn't facilitate it either as he isn't mobile right now. I was over it and have already purchased a small gift from dc for DH for Fathers Day.
Today we were out shopping a dh purchased a new gaming console and other hobby items. This was after I was told that I couldn't take dc away for a few days in.the summer as both our incomes have reduced due to his illness.
At this stage I am a little peeved but dh is more materialistic than me and has lots of leisure time as he will be off work for 6 weeks following his next op.
So we both have big birthdays this year. I received a generous experience gift and we paid for a meal for my family. This generous gesture was actually to ensure that he could justify gifts to the value of the meal and my gift.
Today he actually had the gall to say that he had a list of items he wanted to buy but would save them as he could get them for Fathers Day or his birthday.
Clearly he had forgotten that my Mothers Days was pretty much overlooked by everyone.
Aibu to just feel crap and unappreciated. I may not be earning much as I have had to drop my self employment and one of my jobs has reduced but I am keeping everything together at home and with the kids. Helll I am even driving dh to work when he can work.
So aibu to pull him up on this selfish attitude.

Did you not pull him up on the Mother's Day crap? If he's expecting stuff for Father's Day then he needs to put in equal effort for you. He sounds selfish and thoughtless.

Just tell him he's getting the same for father's day as you.got for mother's day

Just say that you are still waiting for your mother’s day present, so he’ll have to wait too.

So what did you say to him about it?

How come he tells you rather than discuss

You were told no to the holiday
He told you he could get them for Father’s Day
He just bought stuff without asking you

So how come the incone reduction relates to you not him

I did point out how Mothers Day was largely overlooked. He bever replied. Not sure of it was because he felt awkward or whether he is just so entitled and doesn't get it.

With the console he did azk but more of an after the wvent as wsre6in the shop with excited kids.

Sorry multitasking badly but you get the idea.

Why don't you drop the Mother's/Father's day stuff?

It's so unnecessary and has obviously led to your kids having a bit of a don't care attitude. Why would they bother to make you a card/buy one (if old enough to have their own money) if mum and dad always take care of it?

That's not what it's about.

Well tell him how unappreciated you feel.

Talk to him, don't let him 'not respond', have an actual conversation about it?

Sit down, make a budget, discuss it like grown-ups.

tell him.. that's lovely but you're not paying for any of it...

Buy a family holiday as his joint father's day / birthday present.

What bumblebee said. Father’s say he get the same as you and nothing more. Not even a cup of tea in bed.

And what circle said too. The meal for family is bot your guft as it benefitted everyone. Dont include the cost of that.

“I thought we weren’t doing Mother’s/Father’s Day this year? Mother’s Day has already been”