Ex Partners mothet

[Lollipopslife17]

So, I will cut long story short. Caught partner cheating with another lady at work (2nd time). Ist time told his mum & explained how I have been the one doing everything financially as his income is very low & he is like useless & extremely laid back always sleeping & never want to participate in family life. (I own our house outright thanks to my parents). Anyway, his mum was shocked and apologised 1st time & I took him back when he begged etc. Not up to 12 months later, I caught him again &threw him out (he can only go to his mother’s house). I called the lady he was/is seeing at work & she said he told her we were just like flat mates etc. I told is all lies that we have 2 kids etc. She said she would stay away etc. But I am surprised his mum & 3 sisters hasn't called at all since I threw him out not even to ask about the kids at all. AIBU to think this is bad? I have always suspected that they are jealous since I bought the house & shortly after I had a baby & they never came to see baby until after 5 months. But about 3 weeks after baby was born I saw pics on Facebook of his mum at the sea side & then she came with 2 of her daughters & said she hasn't been well for the past 5 months & she only lives an hour away. Also, she blocked me on Facebook as soon as I kicked her son out the 2nd time. I noticed something was going on weeks b4 I threw him out as he was cold etc & I was having what I now realise was a break down & posted "Mr. Xxx is a nasty piece of work" she saw it & called me & asked me to remove it which I did & told her it was just in a moment of anger etc & told her that her her son as being doing etc (I had not caught him the 2nd time at this point) & she was more like taking his side saying he is my son I love him & I said, " I have a son too & I love my son & when he is a 35,40, 50year old man, I will still tell him off if he's done wrong & wont just be quite because he's my son. Telling him off does not mean I don't love him". She was went quite & asked if I have only just known his behaviour, & I said no but everytime I think I seen it all, he takes his bad behaviour to another level. His mum does not correct or discipline him at all & I suspect its been like that since he was a kid- never done anything for himself & she still babying him at 40. He's told me several times he does not like his Mum’s house that is not easy there and I say that is what you have chosen for yourself by cheating on me and the kids. Also, he owes my a lot of money & he hasn't paid back saying he's hasn't got money or not enough money after I take what is due for the kids off him. Any ideas on how I can get him to pay what owes me?

Talk to a lawyer, see if you can go to small claims. Do you have any of the loans you made him in writing?

You want your money back from your ex, pursue that.

I don’t see what his mum’s got to do with any of this. You say she’s always made excuses for him since he was a child so why would you expect it to change now? He cheated on you repeatedly, not his mum. You might plan to carry on telling your son off in his middle age but it’s not normal behaviour and not how she does things - which, again, you say you knew...

It's sounds a awful situation op. Sorry to say, but I don't think you stand any chance of getting the money he owes you back. You said his wages are very low and he's lazy. I can't see him looking for a better paid job so that he can pay you back. Even if you take him to court, he can't pay what he doesn't have

I'd sever contact with his family. Don't bother with them.
As PP said, take him to small claims court if you have proof of loaning him money.

I can’t see why you were hoping his Mother would ‘tell him off’? If my son done that I would tell him I’m disappointed, but that’s it. He’s an adult. He makes his bed, he lies in it. If my partners mum ‘told him off’ I’d be wary, as it’s odd. Also you want the telling off, but at the same time you are posting stuff about her son. A mother will always stick by her child, son or daughter.

As for the money, you are unlikely to see it. If you knew he was lazy and didn’t work, why lend it to him? You’ve set yourself up there.

I Don't mean telling off as you would a child. Anyone can do wrong at any age, and even an adult can be told that what they did is/was way out of order. She will never say that which I think is absurd. Re her not calling, only thinking about that as she's got grandchildren here or AIBU to think is strange that she hasn't checked on her grandkids?

Thanks, I will speak to a lawyer & see what I can do re money owed and yea he signed a paper saying he owes me money

Is he your husband or your partner? If he’s your husband he’ll be entitled to part of the house value and I would also be careful about saying how much you have helped him financially as he can also go for spousal maintenance (I think, not 100% sure). If you aren’t married then he’ll not be entitled to either.

His mum has taken his side, it’s to be expected. Did you and your MIL get on when you were still with her son? If not then I don’t think you’ll have a relationship going forward

Not married, just a long term partner. Yes, I have always helped financially but he know I Dont have money.

His mum makes excuses for his behaviour and now you're focussing on her in this situation rather than him. It's about time he faced the responsibility for his actions. If you have evidence that the money you have him was a loan take him to small claims court, and smart move to not marry him when you have assets and he doesn't.

**he knows I don't have money just money from things i don't use at home, unwanted gifts, baby stuff that I sell on eBay facebook etc

This is between you and him, not you and all of his family.

Go to cms.

@ cherrysoup, pls what's cms? A law firm?

childmaintenanceservice.direct.gov.uk/