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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Contact with children

11 replies

Slytherin212 · 25/05/2019 12:50

A few days ago my partner had a message from his brothers girlfriend asking if they could come over at some point so she could meet our newest arrival.
However I'm not happy to have her anywhere near me, my house or children.
A year ago, she and the brother ended their relationship over something stupid (she was incredibly needy and constantly calling him and his family is she couldn't get through to him) she then started causing issues for the brother and being really dickish to him. Her family got involved as did the sister of partner and brother, just sticking up for him and telling them all to leave him alone. Anyway, she then messaged my partner asking if he was going to start getting involved, to which he said 'no, it's none of his business and they should sort it themselves'. She kept on messaging and slagged the brother off, so partner told her to stop being childish, talk to the brother about this and to stop messaging him. So she started having a go, insulting partner and said she was going to call social services and have our son removed from us, reason being, my partner smokes, at the end of the garden, never near son, has a smoking jacket, washes his hands, brushes his teeth every time he has a cigarette. He told her she was being ridiculous and muted her. They got back together about a month later.
Anyway, I can't forgive the fact that she threatened to call SS, at the time we were an open case with them due to having really bad PND/psychosis, I was terrified that if she actually called, then I was going to lose my son. So I don't want her in mine or my children's lives but I also feel like I'm just over reacting about the whole thing.

OP posts:
Stressedout10 · 25/05/2019 13:00

Yadnbu .
You don't need someone who has proven to be at best unstable near you or your family.
Tell both your oh's db and the psycho that she is not welcome and exactly why then go bc with her

Stressedout10 · 25/05/2019 13:01

Sorry NC not bc

Singlenotsingle · 25/05/2019 13:06

She's bad news. Is she quite right in the head? She's obsessive, and I wouldn't want to go anywhere near her

BigRedLondonBus · 25/05/2019 13:09

Yanbu

janetforpresident · 25/05/2019 13:11

Yanbu say no and tell her why

Summerorjustmaybe · 25/05/2019 13:14

Why on earth would you agree? Bloody hell she has some nerve!
Just ignore and block her.

KissUntilTheyDieOfRabies · 25/05/2019 13:59

Make sure they know she is not welcome.

Then NC

Gingerkittykat · 25/05/2019 14:04

If she is going to be long term in the brother's life you need to be able to tolerate her for the sake of family harmony.

I wouldn't invite her over alone, but let her come along with BIL. I would keep contact to a minimun though.

bullyingadvice2017 · 25/05/2019 14:20

No way would she be on my home after that. Boundarys. Don't cause drama just say it's not happening as your not comfortable with that at all. Repeat as many times as you need.

jameswong · 25/05/2019 14:39

Yanbu

DroningOn · 26/05/2019 13:09

YANBU and tell her explicitly why.

My experience of people like this are that unless you're very clear about not being happy with their behaviour they just choose not to hear you and continue unaware

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