Splitting the bill - from a waitress’s POV.

[MazDazzle]

If you’re out for a meal in a large group and you want to pay individually, how do you go about it?

I’m a waitress in a smallish bistro. It’s a nice place and we do our best to accommodate our customers. We had a table of 23 last night: starters, mains, pudding and some sides, plus cocktails and coffee. Instead of asking for the total bill, each person came up to the til one at a time and asked to pay for what they had.

I had to listen patiently while each person tried to remember what they had. It’s a long process; I had to log in/out multiple times for each customer, shut down screens, open new ones, trawl through the very long bill trying to find each item, create a new table for each customer, cut and paste it to a new bill... this is before we get to the cash/card payment. 23 times!

It took a good 3 mins per customer, so for over an hour the restaurant floor was one person short. It happens all the time and both the restaurant owners and staff are sick of it.

WIBU to say ‘Sorry, we’re unable to make up individual bills, but I’m happy to print out multiple copies of the total bill and provide a calculator. Each person can pay by cash/card, whichever is easiest.’

Would you think it was rude if a waitress said this to you?

Slightly off the point and I don't know if it's still the case, but when I lived in Austria 20 years or so ago (not sure if it is/was only specific to that country), I was [shocked] to discover that, upon being seated at a table, the restaurants would automatically bring out a big basket of bread rolls, without being asked, and plonk them in the middle of the table.

They would paw count them at the beginning and then again just before bringing your bill and the charge for the rolls that had gone would be added to the total bill, which could lead to awkward moments if people argue about who had how many or if any got splashed with anything or (considering the teetering large stack) even got accidentally knocked and fell on to the floor.

Grimmest of all was when I quickly realised that whatever rolls weren't eaten by the first diners would be brought out again for the next diners and so on, topped up if necessary, so you never knew which ones had been doing the rounds all day.

Ironically, the rolls were wonderful when fresh, but the knowledge that they'd been out in the open and subject to handling and contamination all day - as well as the fact that they don't stuff them full of preservatives, so they don't last well anyway - meant that I would often instantly pass them over when I otherwise would have loved a couple if I'd requested them and they'd been brought out for me from the kitchen.

Grumpymug, I waitressed when I was much younger and it wasn't so much an automated system then, just very much a pen/paper, run the check to the kitchen system so yes, I can see that the almost full automation has presented some new challenges.

I never really encountered entitled customers, just the usual stressed, tired ones. The finger-snappers could be a bit rude but seemed to be of a generation and it wasn't personal.

WeBuiltThisBuffet, that makes me gasp, I spent lots of time in Austria and their bread (semeln/gipferln) is amazing. I don't know what sort of bread it is but those breads I mentioned, are fresh in the morning and stale by evening, fit only for breadcrumbs.

I would, like you, have just avoided having one and sobbed quietly to myself.

@Mary54

Thats just the point, they do all tip. Because however poor the service, its what you do here. In the same way as the expected amount is 10%, max 15%

Are you talking about the U.K.?? Because that absolutely does not happen!

I have waitressed in 5 star hotels and pizza places and the majority of people do not tip! That is exactly why it became industry standard to charge compulsory service for groups

I do wonder if some of the posters here who are berating serving staff for not being Marvo the Magical Mathematical Memory Man and objecting to having to spend a ridiculously large portion of their working time in admin rather than actually serving are the same kind of people who will happily have a garage spending hours methodically and skilfully stripping down their car to fit a major integral part that they've already advised costs £700 and charging £900 including labour and VAT - and then spend all their time telling everybody they know and leaving 1-star reviews complaining about these 'shameless rip-off merchants'.

I think that, in the modern world, so many people have become so used to apps and automated processes doing lots of things in seconds that, when there's an onerous task that has to be done manually by an actual person, they are just completely unable to attach any importance or value to the time, skills or livelihood of the person doing it.

Look at how many people are up in arms at having to pay 70p or so when they want somebody to collect their birthday card from the end of their street in Penzance and deliver it the next day through their friend's door in Inverness.

@DramaRamaLlama

No, Germany

WeBuiltThisBuffet, that makes me gasp, I spent lots of time in Austria and their bread (semeln/gipferln) is amazing. I don't know what sort of bread it is but those breads I mentioned, are fresh in the morning and stale by evening, fit only for breadcrumbs.

Yep, they really were the Cinderella of bread - so delicious when fresh, but became hard as concrete on the stroke of midnight

Good afternoon to you too Limited,no idea in what way I’ve vexed you
but given your pithy comment i see I have and you’re determined to have your say
There’s ay wan.takes it too far.gets all humphy.and that is you i see

That could be anybody, WeBuilt, I value skills and pay appropriately for them, whatever the bill is. I also don't leave poor feedback unless sorely provoked but will decline to leave it at all. I wouldn't go back to any place that provided poor service but for personal stuff I'm incredibly loyal so I go back to my regular haunts.

For business hospitality we keep a list in the office of where's good and where isn't. It's not mandatory but it's a really useful guide and quite often, venues on the 'black list' go out of business so it's obviously a question of customers voting with their feet.

Most people I know are very happy to pay for good service. I wouldn't use Mumsnet as any kind of representative sample of what happens in the real world either.

I totally agree OP. I'm not a waitress but if we are out in a big group and people start asking to pay separately, some with card some with cash I get really agitated. How hard is it to go and lift some cash begore you go out. I have one frond who is particularly bad for this. I think it's so rude to hold up the waiting staff in this way. People are so selfish.

@LyingWitchInTheWardrobe

Yes it can be a nightmare sometimes, our till is quite good at splitting tables off to pay, but it does take time. We tend to name each order, put one check to the kitchen, void it off and then have a tab for each person, but we can add extra tables on the system and name them, so we then ask a name for each drink etc and add it to that person's bill, then present each with their own bill. It's harder when people haven't decided how they're going to pay, or get funny saying "We haven't even ordered yet and you're asking about the bill!" My response is, well if you decide to split individually then there'll be a delay paying, those types usually still complain about a wait, but they haven't given me the chance to be proactive about them paying individually when I've asked so that's on them really, I've tried.

I don't know if people are more entitled, they just seem removed from what is actually possible and some do seem to look down on those serving and treat them as such, and there's a culture of 'us verses them' where people seem determined to 'catch you out' making a mistake or with something wrong and make a massive deal about it, almost gleefully. At the end of the day, service staff are there to give you a good experience, why anyone goes out of their way to ruin it themselves is beyond me, but they do.

mn can cast a funny perspective that isn’t enacted in rl but is purported to be proper,done thing
Fortunately in RL as this thread attests people do individually pay and establishments accommodate it
It’s not a faff, it’s not a catastrophic event,it’s not rude,and the world doesn’t stop turning
I hear women even go to the bar,for their own drinks

I also think that the ubiquity of chain restaurants, which depend fully on hyper-efficient production-line automation - i.e. heating up strictly-configured pre-prepared frozen ready meals in the microwave, meaning that they may have 'pie and peas' or 'sausages and beans' available but can't do it if you ask if you could have 'pie and beans' instead - at rock-bottom prices has conditioned many people's expectations when eating out.

Whilst they'll gladly go to an independent restaurant and thoroughly enjoy the quality and taste of their choice of fresh, ethically-sourced food, cooked to order and to their exact specifications by an experienced, highly-qualified chef, in atmospheric, spacious surroundings - they just can't fathom why they would possibly have to wait more than 10 minutes for it and be expected to pay more than two-for-a-tenner.

Grumpmug, your last paragraph makes me think that this is symptomatic of the 'money for nothing' culture, ie. you complain and you get stuff for free. The hospitality industry is so keenly competitive now that it's actively courted and perpetuated this awful side effect of complaints-for-the-sake-of-it. Even when the food/service is fine, people find something to complain about in the hope of a freebie. It devalues feedback which is why I don't leave it.

I think there are too many restaurants now for the level of disposable income and even in Chiswick, every time I walk up the high street, there is a new restaurant open and at least one permanently closed. Highly affluential area but still, restaurants come and go there. The good ones (Pho, for example) seem to be bullet-proof .

Special group menu for parties of 12 or more. Set price for 2 or 3 courses, can include a couple of soft drinks or glasses of house wine to keep it really simple. That menu has to be taken by everyone at the table.

Helps the kitchen cope too as fewer choices and people understand usually that a big party is easier to cope with for a limited range. Make it a good deal so people don’t complain.

Maybe add a supplement for an upgraded main course to extend choice. Any drinks that aren’t included are paid for at time of ordering or receipt.

Or get better software.

My last was to your last but one, WeBuilt, I agree with your last post too. This is the new generation of finger-snapping, entitled 'patrons'. It's like a demand for 'the best' when they wouldn't even recognise it - and delivered to the table at the speed of a drive-thru McDonalds.

I don't mind waiting for freshly cooked food, there's nothing like it. I don't mind a ready meal from a chain either but it's not the same and I won't conflate the two.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe - I'm not casting aspersions on you and there are indeed plenty of establishments of all kinds that are shockingly run by staff who couldn't care less who are fully worthy of those 1-star reviews.

Personally, I don't see an issue with people wanting to pay separately. Even if that's 23 people each proffering a card to pay £25 on, if they don't faff about, that shouldn't take more than 10 minutes altogether for quite a lot of good business turnover.

Of course, it's unusual that 23 diners would all be paying separately as, frequently, a bigger party would be made of of couples and families with children, so 23 people would be unlikely to be splitting payment more than, say, 6-8 ways.

I just think it's unreasonable and fraught with lots of potential issues to expect the serving staff to separate out what each individual owes when they ordered together.

Surely, you should all order separately on individual tabs or order as a group and arrange/calculate between yourselves how you will split who pays for what. There should definitely be a facility, though - even if just a manual note to the kitchen - to say that Tabs 1-23 are dining together, so would like their meals to be brought out at the same time.

No. That's a good idea.

I know, I didn't take it that way, WeBuilt. I really like the 'wooden spoon' suggestion upthread. I wouldn't have any problem with a 'posh' restaurant using that, it's a great method and so uncomplicated.

I don't see why even large groups being processed should take significantly much more time to process either IF not everything is ordered together so, each group could say they're paying separately and each diner then be given a tab which the serving staff updates.

I don't see why what you suggest in you last paragraph wouldn't work? It seems simple and effective to me.

Omg that is ridiculous cannot believe people would expect a waitress who already work their asses off to spend time searching for items on bill so they can pay individually, been out in a group loads of times surely you just divide the bill between you and all put in or ask for separate bills at the start What a pain in the ass that was for you and to answer your original question no I do not think yabu I think the 23 customers were being very unreasonable!

YANBU. I came on to say yabu but for me splitting the bill is you each work out your own and put it on separate card totals which you tell the waitress.

I once had a meal with 9 people where the waiter was only prepared to split it 4 ways I.e 4 cards or 3 cards plus cash. Weird and kinda tricky! That was U in my opinion, it doesn't take long to ring up multiple cards. But what you describe is taking the Micky.

I was somewhere once and someone asked to pay seperate, the staff said they could only print one bill. I didn't mind I had cash, but for the people who were paying card it poses a problem!!

If I were you I would talk to your boss about doing something about it though. For that many people it is madness!

I go to a place where the waitress asks right at the beginning if it is all going on one bill or separate bills. This works great.
If all on one, easy.
If more that one she asks the first person for a name on the bill, takes the order and then the 2nd and a a second name etc....if more food/drinks are ordered she asks whose bill to put it on.
All of this is on her little bill booklet thing.
Genius!

When I worked in. Restaurant serving a group
The food all came as one order,chef aware it’s a group
Each diner identified by name,and their food order recorded under their name
When food arrives at table it’s announced by name.so no who ordered tagliatelle shouted 8 times
Each diner had a bill