WIBU to allow my son to manage his own budget?

[Purplejay]

Hi, long discussion with DS 12 last night about budgeting. He would like to manage his own budget. I said we will discuss it further when he is 13 but I make no promises. In the meantime he has to show he can be more responsible, not expect to be waited on hand and foot etc etc. I am a single mum and DS is my only child. Currently he gets £10 per month pocket money and I buy his clothes, pay for his activities, toiletries, phone, Xbox live/game pass etc and £15-20 per week lunch money.

We tried to add up what I do/expect to spend on him on clothes each year and was a bit shocked at how much. He is just going into men’s sizes and still growing. For example: per year...
4 hoodies £160
6 t shirts £20
2 long sleeved tops £20
1 smart shirt £20
4 jeans £80. (kids ones were more like £10-15 but men’s cost more)
2 joggers £30
Pants/socks £30
Shorts £30
Swimwear £20
Footwear x 3 £120 (he bought some £80 ones himself in the past year with Xmas money and I bought 2 pairs of £40 trainers, sliders and slippers)
Nightwear £20.
Coat(s) £50
Total £600. Does that sound a lot?
I should add that does not include PE kit which would be another £100 or so (I was thinking of not including this as pe kit is non negotiable) and the school has a no uniform policy so he wears jeans, t shirt and hoodie every day.

I was thinking that if I were to let him control clothes, activities with friends, toiletries and spending money, that would be about £20 per week. I would want him to get an app and record his spending.

I would continue to pay for his phone, Xbox stuff, pe kit and give him lunch money.

Does anyone else do this? Does it work? DS is pretty responsible but has been fairly disinterested in money up to now. It could be a good lesson. He won’t spend it all on games and buy no clothes as he loves buying clothes. More likely the other way around! I have parental settings on everything anyway so he has to ask to download anything on Xbox which costs money and all phone apps (even the free ones).

I would be interested in your thoughts/experiences on giving teens responsibility for their money and how much your kids cost in clothing!

My only advice is to get him into eBay/ Depop for branded stuff. Which they will want. DS for example has an impressive array of trainers apparently (personally can't tell the difference from supermarket ones - but important to him) .. all picked up for less than a tenner , in immaculate condition.. with rrp £100+. Same for hoodies.
He could also sell some branded stuff the same way once too small.

The clothing resale market is amazing so many deals to be had ! So far this month I have also picked up 2 x phase 8 dresses and a beautiful Hobs suit still with the tags on for under £60 including postage !

I will start by saying mine are a bit older the youngest is 14 but I started with slightly smaller amounts when they were 11 and have gradually increased each year when I felt they were handling their budget appropriately.
I now give mine the child benefit monthly which works out at just under £70 each so I round it up to this. They are expected to pay for all their own entertainment out of this money. That can include the following -
PS4 Plus subscription between £40 -£50 a year
Any games downloads etc that they want to buy outside of Christmas and Birthdays.
Going out with friends to cinema, lunch, shopping etc.
Presents for friends and relatives on Birthdays/Christmas
Takeaway with friends
Any fancy toiletries they may want. I buy basics and if they want £5 a bottle shower gel they buy their own.
On top of this they both have a clothing budget of £200 a year.
I buy them school uniform, underwear, socks, pyjamas, school shoes, a pair of trainers and a coat when needed. Anything else comes out of the £200. They do tend to ask for things like trainers or hoodies for Christmas and Birthdays which I am happy to get. I would rather spend £40 on a hoody as a present than a load of stuff that won't be looked at after the first day.
Added up they have around £1000 a year for the things detailed above which is about £85 a month. I put a limited amount on their lunch accounts and anything they want over and above this they pay. They also have the option of taking lunch in from home if they wish.
It may seem a lot at first but when compared to giving them money as and when it is actually cheaper. All those £5/£10 here and there don't happen anymore.
I think it is easy to underestimate how much they need. A trip to the cinema where we are is £7.00 for teens, on top of that they might want a drink or snack so no change out of a tenner there. A teen entry for the local swimming pool is £3.50 and the bus fare into town is £3.00 return so it does add up. If they go for lunch with friends there are no big chains here so the options are limited and usually a bit more expensive.
The older one has a job which gives him a bit extra so I would not say that it makes them lazy in that respect.
The younger is trying but is a bit young for and is not having much success.
Why not try a limited budget at first say for entertainment, going out with friends etc and see how they manage that. You can then increase as when you see fit.

I think pocket money/ allowance should be for whatever the dc wants and parents should provide all the essentials such as clothes

DD has £20 a month pocket money cash and £20 clothing allowance (by DD). I buy her staple stuff, she buys the extras. It’s worked out really well, she thinks about what she wants and how she’ll put clothes together so it’s been a success on more than one level.