Advice please!

[TrainsandDiggers]

My marriage is rocky at the moment but both of us are committed (I thought) to making it work.

DH went out this afternoon for lunch with a friend. At 6pm I got a message asking if he could stay out later. At 1:20am I got a drunken message from his friend saying DH had missed his train, but his (the friend’s) client is a hotel booking app, so they have looked after them for the night. He’ll be back in the morning.

I am fuming! Not least because I have to leave for work at 8am so he needs to be back for the children, but it just seems so disrespectful! This friend regularly cheats on his wife. AIBU to be worrying what DH is up to?!

I also don’t know how to respond when I see him!

Urgh, he sounds like a teenager taking liberties. I would go nuclear on him when he decides to return at his leisure

God he’s acting like a child! I wonder if he’s sleeping through because his phone is dead and couldn’t set an alarm - not excusing him, but that might be why he hasn’t emerged yet.

I would be livid, too, OP. It’s not on for a man with a wife and DC to behave like that, especially not to be back to take care of his DC when his wife has to work.

I have no advice, unfortunately. Does he have form for being this irresponsible?

He doesn’t have form for this - his friend does.

He’s just come back - just as I was leaving for work. He looked sheepish and said sorry but doesn’t seem like he really gets it - he will when I get home! He was embarrassed about his children being looked after by our friends I think and told me his battery had died.

I just know I’ll end up looking like the bad party in this...😢 It’s so hurtful though

It's great that your friends witnessed his shit behaviour.

Do not let him make you out to be the baddie in this later. There is no way you are the one in the wrong. Christ, you had to leave for work at 8am and couldn't. What a tosser.

I think it's one thing if you were in all day with the children(although still bloody disrespectful) but you have to go to work! That's a disgrace.

I think he met someone and his friend was covering for him. How convenient his phone crashed and he wasn't able to speak to you on his friend's phone.
I'm sorry OP. It doesn't look good at all.

Don't let him turn it around so you're the bad guy. He's bang out of line

I'm sorry but I would be very very suspicious as to what he got up to last night if I were you. And even if he didn't cheat,what an utter selfish pig to cause you all that angst,especially when he's supposed to be making an effort to make the marriage work. If my marriage were rocky before this would be the final straw for me. I'm sorry you're married to an immature selfish twat OP

What a dick. As if a taxi wasn't available, or a phone charger, or a pay phone, or literally anything. If my dh pulled this shit it would be the last time.

If he really wanted to contact you or get home, then he would’ve. I’d be suspicious too.

Sorry OP, I think this is the end

This would be a total dealbreaker.

This is NOT a communication problem, this is a clear and vivid demonstration that only one person wants this marriage to work. OP, you cannot make this marriage work alone. but you can make a good life for yourself alone.

And what hotel doesn't have a phone? He COULD have phoned, he chose not to. That's if the 'hotel' thing is even true.

Get rid of this waste of skin, OP. He doesn't respect you, but you can respect yourself.