To be totally fed up with (d) h.

[Northernsoulgirl45]

So dh is unwell. As a result I am caring for him, 3dc from 5 to 14. (Two who need some additional help)
He is working limited hours but cannot drive so my days between school runs and my two very small part time jobs are spent ferrying him around. I have another self empoyment but this has had to go.
I am seriously stressed as he is finding his disability tough. He is in pain when I help him dress and tbh his crying out makes me feel like I am hurting him.
The last 2 days have been especially difficult. On the way home from work yesterday I trapped my finger in the wheelchair. I squealed in pain but did not get a response. At the first junction I was still suffering and he pulled me up on not indicating. I pointed out that I I was distracted due to injury. His response was a huffy sorry. Err no I want some concern at the time. He is not a great back seat driver.
Today he worked from home and when he finished he moaned about the remote control needing batteries. My fault of course and me failing to get spare keys cut. The kids lost back door keys on my birthday and I spent the whole evening searching and finding them. Yes I did mean to get some cut but I have had so much on my mind.
Tbh I am totally fed up.
Aibu

Sounds like a really difficult situation OP no wonder you're stressed. Sounds like DH is feeling frustrated and powerless and is taking it out on you. Would there be anything DH could do around the house to help you? Are you ferrying him around to important appointments or to leisure stuff? I think you need to give yourself some time to yourself if at all possible - even if it's just an hour in the bath or a walk in the park. You can't spend every minute of the day caring for people when no one is caring for you.

Are you getting any help?
Carers allowance?
Attendance allowance?
Carers assessment?
Social services input?
Support from charitable organisations?
Are the dc getting support through school?
I am so sorry for you and your husband.

Why are you doing the personal care?

Yanbu. You need help. Is this a permanent situation or will he recover? Do you have any help?

Thank you for replies. The children have bern offered support. Hopefully the worse of it will be short term. Surgery will help. In terms of outside support we have had little support.

IME you have to shout to get support.
But you need it and deserve it.
GPs generally can't help much but Social services and google can often pont you in the right direction.
Look up attendance and carers allowance if you haven't already applied.

Look up attendance and carers allowance if you haven't already applied. Attendance allowance is awarded only from 6 months after the attendance needs began. There is a fast track, but that's only if you're expecting to die. Not trying to be miserable, but the form for AA is horrendous, so not worth bothering if it's a short term need, save yourself some added stress.

Thank you for replies. I dont think I care for enough hours to get any financial help. I think what we need is occupational therapy to give him strategies to manage his own self care.
Hopefully things will improve soon as he is awaiting surgery.