DD kicked in school

[hippoherostandinghere]

How would you approach the following situation?

Today DD (7) came out of school and told me that she was kicked by a boy in her class. When I asked her where he kicked her she's said between the legs. She says he kicked his friend saying I want to see how sturdy you are and then said the same to her and kicked her. I have checked and she has no marks or bruises at the moment.

She said she cried and when the teacher asked what's wrong she told her the boy had kicked her (but didn't say where) and teacher told him to have some sense then sent DD to line up with the girls for lunch.

DD is not a crier in school but this is the 2nd time in a week she's been in tears as she has been having some issues with her friends. She's very emotional at the moment and finding school a bit tough.

She has also said this chases her in the playground and tries to kiss her he's just a general puke to her.

So how would you approach this one? DH says straight to the head on Tuesday morning?

You go and speak to her teacher. She didnt tell the teacher what exactly had happened so you need to tell the teacher and ask her to investigate

I think classteacher first, the headteacher will just pass it back to the class teacher anyway. She/he wont deal with it unless it's more than a one off. If the class teacher feels it needs referring for safeguarding reasons then they will do that.

I would probably mention it to the teacher. There were a few boys in DS's class who got a bit too physical to other boys in the private area. They didn't necessarily mean much harm but the teacher made it very clear that while some slightly rough games were OK it's never OK to touch/hit/kick that area on a boy or girl.

Agree class teacher.

Explain exactly what dd said and ask it's investigated and action is taken.
Also mention other issues and how your DD is struggling and agree a plan together to support her.

If a pupil in my class came up and said someone kicked her, I’d tell the offender off and that would be it probably. If there’s more to it, sounds like the boy needs speaking to with the other stuff, and you want it looked in to, or generally want to chat to the teacher as it sounds like DD is having a tough time, arrange a chat with teacher. The teacher is not a mind reader. I wouldn’t go to the head, I’d ask to speak to the teacher and discuss it all, so teacher knows what is happening and can support dd as well.

I was having a conversation with a friend on this note today. Children are aggressive sometimes. It’s part of the learning process. There really is no need to fuss over it. However it would be wise to help your DD become more assertive and less ashamed. If she can’t even tell the teacher when she gets kicked it isn’t safe. If she hasn’t told the teacher about the kissing either then do inform the teacher so that that can be dealt with.

Ok, I'll approach this with the teacher. If he kicked her on the leg I would be different but surely the fact he's kicking her in the private areas is worrying, I'd be afraid of this escalating.

Teacher knows about the other issues, yes DD does need some work on being more assertive. We're working on that.

Always class teacher first OP always then escalate if necessary

She was in the classroom just before lunch time. It's really pissed me off tbh. She shouldn't have to deal with this shit at 7 or any age. I feel like this is just him testing the boundaries.

I don't know, getting ready to go for lunch I think. They'd just got their lunch boxes and were waiting to got up to the hall.

Talk to the teacher, especially as he’s crossing boundaries by chasing her and trying to kiss her. He needs to be reminded of the rules and consequences for breaking them.

They don't have a TA. Thanks, it's good to get a bit of perspective on this.

Definitely the class teacher should be your first port of call, tell him/her everything that your DD has said and ask for it to be looked into.

Then mention the other issues that DD is struggling with.

Hope it gets resolved and your DD is ok.

“Kids will kick each other”?
Surely most kids know better by the age of 7. And the fact that he’s targeting such a sensitive area is really nasty.
Poor kid.
Class teacher for now. Worth keeping a note of everything and letting them know each time.

he fact he's kicking her in the private areas is worrying
I can't comment in general but in my experience (eldest is only in Y2) it's not unusual for little kids to have no respect for boundaries. I've walked into the class room to a little 7 year old girl totally naked and a boy staring at her private area saying "it looks funny with no willy" the class teacher was mortified (the little girl was meant to be changing in the changing room).

Like I said there was also a stage where one or two boys kept focusing on the private area during rough games ("I'm going to pick you up by your willy", "I'm going to kick you in the balls", "I' going to grab your balls" etc). The rough games were harmless but obviously the focus on private area not OK. A word with the teacher sorted it out. I really doubt the boys meant harm they just knew willies were kind of funny but didn't really get about them being private and delicate.

By that age I would expect kids to understand that kicking isn’t nice and that kicking there could really hurt. It’s not about curiosity or finding poo and willies funny. It’s about boundaries. Kicking isn’t ok. And kicking there hurts.

I get fed up of listening to how kids are supposed to suck up being hurt, and ‘be more resilient’.
Ask yourself if you could think of any excuse for a man your age kicking you between the legs, and then ask yourself why a 7 year old girl should have to out up with it.

@Wolfiefan

Of course kids know that they shouldn't kick each other but at 7 it's not unusual to over step boundaries or have poor impulse control. I can't comment about this boy specifically and I definitely think a word with the teacher is in order but at least in my DC's class there are no kids with behavioural issues but they do play rough games and sometimes go too far - when that happens they should be called out on it but it's not necessarily indicative of anything awful. There is also definitely a range of attitudes to private parts - some have already got very clear boundaries and know to get changed in private. Others are happy to show everyone their private bits and don't seem to appreciate that they're private and delicate. It needs dealing with but it's not unusual. Of course it's important to tell the teacher firstly so she can speak to the boy and make sure he's clear about boundaries etc and secondly in case it's part of a larger picture in case he is vulnerable and in need of real intervention.

Absolutely speak to the teacher. I teach 6/7 year olds and it's not completely unheard of that they lash out or hurt each other when they argue. They don't think about appropriate responses, want to 'win' the disagreement and I'm afraid my eyes can't be on them all simultaneously. But this wasn't lashing out. It was deliberate "game" and that boy needs help to see how completely unacceptable it is to do this. I've taught children like this and from my experience at my school at least, things can be put in place to support/supervise children if staff are aware. Hope your wee girl is OK and starts to feel more settled at school soon.

@whateveryousay who said the OP's DD should suck up being hurt? Everyone has said OP should approach the class teacher so it can be dealt with. Unfortunately 7 year olds do stupid stuff and sometimes hurt each other it's not OK but it's fairly unavoidable.