To be annoyed at DH or am I overreacting?

[AmIReallyThatBad]

My DH picked up a plastic tealight, asked my DD7 why it was there and then threw it to her. It hit her and she shouted "owwwwww that hurt". He turned to her & said "you failed to catch it, it didn't hurt".
I am annoyed at him because I think he should not be the judge of whether something hurts her. Also, it's not her fault that she was hurt because she "failed to catch it".
Writing this seems ridiculous and I'm quite prepared to be told to get a grip. He thinks IABU as he thinks I'm too soft & he doesn't want to parent that way & doesn't want her exaggerating/making a fuss if something hurts. There's been a few things like this so I want to know if IABU.

Imagine reporting that to school 😂😂

You did say he threw the plastic tealight to her, not at her, OP. Was she really hurt?

I think you are over.reacting. sounds more carry on than vicious.

Mumsnet loves to label people as abusers or bullies.

This entirely.

He threw something at her, she said it hurt, he basically said it didn’t hurt her and anyway it was her fault as she didn’t catch it. WTF? Lots of people minimising this. As a parent, if my DH did this to my DD, I’d be extremely pissed off and would be challenging him re his behaviour, not hers. Why is it ok for him to throw something at her? Why is it not ok for her to say it hurt? Why is it her fault for not catching it? I’d say he is a complete arse who needs to apologise. If he can’t bring himself to do that then I would say he is a twat and I’d be seriously concerned that I had tied myself to an arse who can’t admit he’s wrong and , more importantly, he’d never admit he was wrong to his child. I’d be most unhappy.

Threw it to her, not at her. I think you’re overreacting.

'Minimising' is another MN term that's bandied about a lot to suggest that people are supporting abusive behaviour.

It's not always minimising to suggest something isn't a big deal. Some things just aren't!

This could well be one of them. Without more context no one knows if this was an aggressive or a playful gesture, but I do find it scary that people are prepared to say someone is an abusive bully based on so little information.

Wow, this is the biggest MN over reaction I’ve ever seen.