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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To ask you what to do about this entitled email whilst I'm on holiday?

45 replies

bordellosboheme · 24/05/2019 17:27

I have misguidedly read a work email whilst on holiday abroad in Spain with my kids. I'm really riled about the entitled tone of the email. It's from a male colleague (surprise surprise) saying I know you are away (on pre approved annual leave) but some process has not been carried out to his liking in my absence so he's letting me know how 'it ought to be carried out' for next year. AIBU to be absolutely raging about his sense of entitlement? Part of me wants to slap him back with a reply, but the other part of me thinks, fuck it, I'm on holiday with my kids, so fuck the fuck off.... AIBU?

OP posts:

Bigfanofcheese · 24/05/2019 18:24

Agree with those PP saying he wrote the email to get it out of the way, i'd have long forgotten to send it by the time you were back in the office. Tbf he did acknowledge you were away and that no action was needed until next year.

Feel free to put him straight about the processes as per kickassangel's post when you get back but for now dont give it another thought!

What about something physical to wear the kids out? Maybe hire some bikes, a nice long walk or swim, pony trekking, get them a bat and ball or beach cricket set?

nc100 · 24/05/2019 18:28

Cocktail (for you) kids club (for them)

AJPTaylor · 24/05/2019 18:33

Yabu to even be able to read emails from work on holiday

alifemoreorlessordinary · 24/05/2019 18:36

I absolutely get where you're coming from - if there is a back story of other "behaviour" at work. It has happened to me, as soon as I was "out of the office" said person would send an e-mail about something that "I" needed to deal with...and copy others in...well, you saw me in the office half an hour before I left, and could have mentioned it then...no, much better to wait until you leave. They probably know you will check your e-mails. I would say (try your hardest) not to reply! Plus it may be easier to occupy your kids if you are not thinking about work, they can probably pick up if you are distracted; try not to let it take over your holiday

NauseousMum · 24/05/2019 18:36

So did he email you prior to this (while on holiday) asking you to make the changes?

His email makes no sense if not. You were away when he decided on changes and couldn't do anything about his decision and subsequent 'extra work'.

I'd reply when you get back stating you were on leave when the changes were decided and so could not do anything about but you are happy to brainstorm a way to futureproof changes being made last minute.

blackteasplease · 24/05/2019 20:07

I'd just ignore completely.

jcyclops · 24/05/2019 23:13

Contacting staff by email/text/phone whilst on holiday (or sick) is quite a topic in HR circles. Some think best practice may be to remove email privileges for staff whist they are away - emails are still be sent to you but you can not read them until you return to work.
The categorisation of your colleague as "male" is superfluous and probably sexist.

LegoPiecesEverywhere · 24/05/2019 23:22

I get it op. You are stressed enough on holidays and this email just added to it. From what I gather he is having a little rant and giving you a little slap down even though it is not your fault. I would just reply ‘Noted. Kind Regards, Bordello’

BackforGood · 24/05/2019 23:27

Totally disagree with BumbleBee.

I send e-mails from work throughout the time I am at work, dealing with situations that arise Whilst I am at work. I don't "not send" to someone because they are on holiday. That is the beauty of e-mails, they are not intrusive to the recipient, they just sit there until the recipient makes the time to look at them. Like writing someone a letter. They don't actually receive it, until they get back home and open it.
It is the OP who has been idiotic enough to log in to her work e-mails whilst she is on holiday. She is the one with the problem, not the colleague.
Obviously none of us understand the situation re the detail of the thing he is commenting on, but the OP seems idignant about the fact she has recived it on holiday rather than the content particularly, and the only reason she received it on holiday is because she chose to.

MidniteScribbler · 24/05/2019 23:39

Oh FFS, just don't log in if you don't want to deal with it. Aren't people grown adults with enough willpower to step away from the computer if they don't want to read an email?

BummyKnocker · 24/05/2019 23:46

You must be very stressed/bored/disengaged/obligated to read work emails

If you can't get it out of your head then draft a pithy response, save for later and forget for now.

BlackPrism · 24/05/2019 23:56

I generally answer important emails on holiday. Takes 5 mins tbh.

Although I send emails while people on holiday - I preface it with what he's said so they know I don't expect a reply until they're back.

itscallednickingbentcoppers · 24/05/2019 23:59

'change was made in my absence which necessitated some people being added to have access to a new part of the intranet and he had to ask the secretary to do it'

This is all blah. It doesn't matter. Your family does.. put the work emails away for the rest of the holiday.

BlackPrism · 24/05/2019 23:59

As for how to keep them preoccupied? Board games worked for us. Or, my dad taught me and my sister to be very good at pontoon, last card and poker while on hols 😂

butterflywings37 · 25/05/2019 00:03

I see nothing 'entitled' you chose to look at work emails whilst on holiday and he was just sending out emails whilst it was still the working week...

Leave a response until your return but it seems like it's just a reply to explain a change...

But then again he is a man so many may assume he is being 'entitled'

CJsGoldfish · 25/05/2019 00:04

Meh.

We (my colleagues, male and female) always send emails about things as they crop up. There is no expectation for them to be read whilst on holidays and, in fact, the first morning back is usually spent catching up on emails.

I'm sorry it seemed to come at a bad time for you but I really can't see any issue. Don't open any more work emails.

LittlePaintBox · 25/05/2019 00:19

Ignore.

And don't look at work emails on holiday again.

ILoveMaxiBondi · 25/05/2019 00:24

Any ideas how to keep 3 year old and 7 year old occupied??

Yes. Give them your colleagues mobile and landline numbers and leave them with your phone.

mellicauli · 25/05/2019 00:28

Email back OK Thanks. Then you have dealt with it and don't need to worry about it til next year. They'll probably gave sacked him for being annoying by then anyway .

cordeliavorkosigan · 25/05/2019 00:47

Sangria and olives for you, olives and sand castles for your DC? Agree, just ignore - he's just moaning that the magic fairies weren't there to do this for him.

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