AIBU to want to move and what should we do?

[Moomooboo]

We currently live in an area which is near London. I am currently off on parental leave, but will be starting a new job in September. I may have to pay back some of my pay - but hopefully not. Me and my DH are teachers, and very nearly at the top of our pay scale. We have one DS - 16 months old. My DH will be part time - 4 days and I will be full time.

Our mortgage is currently very high - nearly 1600 a month. I understand there will be people paying more/less than this. Our joint income is about 4400 a month, and our expenses (bills, cars, etc) are about 1000. Currently I am only a 20 minute drive from work and my partner is about 40-60 mins from work. This is not including childcare, which will be about 700 a month but when he turns two in march, we will get 15 hours due to his looked after status.

My DH's family live about 45-60 mins away and my family are all over the place, but from 1 hour upwards. My parents have said they would like to do one day of child care a week. This means them staying with us - which we really don't mind.

The issue is that we will never be able to have a bigger house in our current area. My parents are very easy going, but when they come to stay we only have one toilet and it makes night time pretty irritating. Me and my partner no longer sleep together and find it very hard to share a bed (everything is okay in that department - we have no worries but just can't sleep...........!) so I sleep on the sofa when my parents are here.

The idea is that we will move to the town where DH's parents live. Im very happy with this idea as it will mean we'll only be 30 mins from one of my brothers and 1 hour from another, and both brothers now have babies so would be able to see niece and nephews a bit more often. Also the size of house we could get is much bigger, even for 100k less than what we paid for our current house.

This town would put me 45-50 mins away from my work drive and DH 1 hour 30 each way. DH insists he thinks this will be fine.

My question is:
Would you keep the mortgage the same and get an absolutely humongous house, but probably have to tighten your belts pretty hard? That house would be one we probably would never move from.

Or would you reduce the mortgage and get a smaller house, probably want to move in 5 years time.

Bearing in mind our total earning power outside of London is much less.

Larger houses need more maintenance and up keep. If you know your salaries will rise then stretch yourselves, if you’re at the top of your field with no chance to increase your income I wouldn’t.

We left London and bought a house twice the size, we now pay a window cleaner, cleaner and gardener. To clean my house properly takes 6 hours, it’s a chore. Enjoy life and reduce your monthly payments, pay your mortgage off quicker.

Doesn’t have to be enormous just a bit bigger than now. Hour half drive for DH might wear thin pretty quickly though.

Given that the country is in a bit of financial turmoil at the moment i would not want to stretch myself too far in case interest rates rise.

Sounds good though! Good luck

In your situation I wouldn't want to stretch my finances any further. If you can get a reasonably sized family house for the same money you are borrowing now go for it.

You said by moving you could buy a much bigger house than what you presently have for 100K less than what you paid for your house.

So why are you talking about a buying 'humongous' house?

Just buy the much bigger house and your mortgage repayments will be less.

I would move and could you look for new jobs in that area

I absolutely wouldn’t stretch myself to buy a property far bigger than I needed. Bigger properties are more expensive to maintain, more hassle to clean and basic bills like heating are going to be higher.

I suppose if you’re intending to have another three kids than I can sort of see the logic of minimising moving costs by only doing it once.

Also - don’t underestimate the mental and physical effect of that commute! It sounds brutal to me!

Just get a decent sized house but lower your mortgage. You don't need a humungous house unless you plan on several more kids, and the peace of mind will be worth it. What if your DH hates his huge commute and wants to move jobs/ends up with a lower salary/you have another child and want to go part time?

This is all fantastic thank you so much for your input - much appreciated. Lots to think about - I do think I want to lower the mortgage - there are just some beautiful houses on for the same price as what we have had ours valued and it’s dificult to not be tempted by them.

Ultimately I agree in that we should reduce our mortgage but I had not thought about the bigger the house the bigger the expense so many thanks!

I’d be worried about your DH’s 1.5 hour commute - that could easily increase with roadworks etc