Am I being selfish

[hannahlazara]

My work contact finishes in the next two years and been offered a better paid job that's an hour and 40 mins away .
I like the area where this new job based alot and so does my kid as we just take regular day trips there currently and next year a stay over for long weekends.
I am also single mum .
I have family here but dont get alot support from them but however my child has good relationship with other family members and plan to visit them on regular basis and they said they might do the odd day trip / stay over to visit.
My issue with with my ex , I am fully prepared to to the all the travelling as my kid is happy and familiar with routine of contact and I dont want to disrupt that .

ex gets the bear minimum legal contact due to safeguarding issues at contact centre about 2 hours away from where I like to move .
I left him because he was making death threats torwards me and left for safety of my child and my own safety and made myself homeless in the process as I was living with ex .
I had high level harrament from him since leaving .
I tried to be amicable torwards him but got alot of abuse back thrown at me.
Its taken along time to build myself up to get where I am today and would like be able to add on and provide financially more for my kid by living and working there and better affordable housing better quality of life . My child is starting shcool in September and hopefully move in the summer hols .

I am worried about Informing ex when I do move and worried how shellfish I would look legally.
I worry it would look shefish thing not to inform him, he has pr via court there is court order in place that I have no desire to change it and support my child having contact.
I been weighing up the pros and cons there are more pros to moving then staying.
I am being unreasonable/ shefish to move away and not telling him ?
I just worry about him knowing given the history of harassment ,being highly controlling and aggressive.

Nope. Not selfish. Do what's best for you and your son, i think that is true even when the other parent isn't an abusive arsehole but in this case it sounds like it wouldn't make a huge diffence to your ex anyway and he hasn't done anything to deserve your consideration

Do it. You're doing what's best in the interests of your whole family unit, and you're going to continue to facilitate the contact.

He's a twat and very lucky to have had you be so amicable!!
Working as a domestic abuse worker you see so many woman still living their lives for their ex and its so sad. Its amazing that you've rebuilt your life. And the fact that you've been offered a promotion (congratulations BTW) which will benefit you and your child will only looked upon favourably by the courts.
It sounds like your only obligation is to meet him when agreed at the contact centre.
No sensible judge will disagree with you decisions given his history of harassment.

Your decision not to tell him where you are*

Jeckllandhyedesmother , I never knew my dad or know his name and wanted to give what I didn't have as child .
I have been quite considerate torwards my ex as he is my child father, but he makes things difficult he tried to issue an pso saying that I am flight risk ,he accused me of parental alienation, child neglect the whole lot in court none of it is true , in the past he would choose not come to contact and he would stop contact and make out it was me that was preventing him , he even wanted to move 120 miles away and push back contact so he could live with an other woman that he just met over the internet and wanted relationship with.