Re nursery manager?

[walkmehome1]

My son is 2 and has been going to nursery for a year on two days while I'm at work.

The deputy manager always kisses him when I drop him off and kisses him and says "love you" to him when he is collected and I really don't like it.

It just makes me feel uncomfortable. Am I being over sensitive?

The fact the deputy manager thinks this is ok would make me question how robust the settings safeguarding knowledge and system is. Although the ‘love you’ itself may not be a huge issue, the fact someone that high up in the nursery thinks it’s ok would worry me. Would the staff pick up on other safeguarding concerns with other staff (like favouritism etc) if this is how the manager acts. I don’t think it sets a good example and is definitely a no no In the nursery world - making me question their knowledge and professionalism!

I once met a teacher in the US. She said she gives all of her students hugs and tells them that she loves them as some students it will be the first time theyve been told that theyre loved. She obviously can't do it for those she feels that aren't loved so does it to all of them. If you son doesn't mind it leave it be - if it makes him uncomfortable give him the words to express that.

I'm not sure. I think I just find it strange as I feel like that's more of a "family" thing. Which maybe is unreasonable but I just can't get past it. I do feel incredibly awkward flagging it though as I feel like I probably am BU

She may love him but not in the way a mother loves her child, more in the way a friend may love your children.

It wouldn't bother me, I would feel happy that someone else loves my little boy and is caring for him when I'm not able to.

Personally, I wouldn't raise it as I can't see what you could gain. You could cause her to be offended and then the care she shows your little one may be different.

She isn't doing any harm so I would just leave it.

No I don't think I would be happy about that either. I wouldn't do that with any of the kids I look after and I see some of them more than their parents during the week.

I love it, my DS nursery staff always give or accept a kiss on hello's and goodbyes.

If they said I love you I'd probably tip them. Its very easy to get emotionally attached to young children.

Nothing makes me happier than seeing my DS loved by the staff I leave him with.

SpanGransNo1Fan

Your post made me feel sad.

The deputy manager at my DS nursery is like this. Lots of hugs and she said to me the other day "Oooh I just love him! I'm going to be so sad when he leaves" and I'll admit it did make me feel a bit weird but I genuinely think she loves her job and is just very affectionate to the children (and loved by them too).

For me, it's ten times better than the old management team who were cold and stand-offish.

Totally wondering if it's the same nursery though

walkmehome1

Do you think she shouldn’t love your son, or shouldn’t say it?

Nope - this is not professional whether parents are okay with it or not. At the nursery I worked at, we had to choose our words very carefully such as “your dress is lovely” rather than “you look pretty in that dress”. I know for those who haven’t worked in a childcare setting this is probably eye-rollingly over the top but safeguarding training is very intensive and until you have done it, it sounds very cynical and odd. Although a nursery manager encouraging kisses and saying “love you” might sound charming and sweet, she really should know better in her position.

My childminder tells the kids she loves them

But a lot of people do say "love you" almost in place of saying goodbye, it's like"see you soon" just a phrase some people use. Maybe she is one of those people.

If you are really uncomfortable with it then say something, but if it is an unconscious phrase she uses she might be embarrassed about it and it could mean that in the future she is wary of how she behaves around your child. I think I would rather suck up the love you and the kisses.

I think there's no harm in young children feeling loved by the people who look after them all day.