AIBU to be anti social?

[Whackitupto200]

DSD is 12 and lives here half the week. Our house isn’t that big and we have one ‘family’ room downstairs, which is the living room/dining area and then a tiny galley kitchen and that’s it.

Every evening we eat dinner together as a family and then I put the two smaller DCs to bed around 7.30. DSD doesn’t go to bed until 9.30 so for those two hours she will either be on the PlayStation in the living room or hanging out with us on the sofa. Which is okay but it means I can’t watch any of the programmes I like because they’re a bit sweary and/or sexy or gory for a (quite young) 12 year old.

So I take myself off to the bedroom and watch TV on my laptop while DP and DSD play stupid shit on the PlayStation.

DP thinks I’m being antisocial but I think he’s being U expecting me to watch him and DSD play the PlayStation four evenings out of seven. I’m not BU am I?

You are not being unreasonable whatsoever.

I would compromise: some time spent with DSD and DH in the evening once the smaller kids are in bed and some time on your own relaxing.

What do you plan to do when your own kids are older and staying up later? Presumably you will have some family time altogether but you'll also keep some time to yourself?

No not at all. By then you've done the family dinner. You need to relax too. Enjoy!

Describing it as anti-social is a bit much. She's your step-daughter, not Karen from accounts asking you to join the team for Friday drinks.

That said, home is home and if you feel comfortable lounging about upstairs then so be it. But does it have to be an either/or - can't you all watch something on the TV together a couple of evenings in the week? If she goes to bed at 9:30 what are you watching post-watershed for half an hour that might scandalise a 12yr old. It does sound slightly like you resent that she's there so much.

What do you plan to do when your own kids are older and staying up later?

Hide in my bedroom watching Netflix!!

I think by the time the little ones are older we’ll be living in a bigger place (saving to move house at the moment).

I work full time so am so shattered after the younger two are in bed I just want to watch Game of Thrones or Line of Duty or 24 Hours in A&E in my PJs. I really don’t want to be breaking out the board games. I don’t have the mental energy at that time of day.

I don’t see why you should have to sit and watch them on the PlayStation. If your DP wanted to compromise then I’d agree to all watching a film together once a week; at 12 there’s a lot you could watch with your DSD

No, you're not being U.
Would they sit in silence watching you viewing TV? Of course not.
If they're on the PS then they're not paying any attention to you to even know if you're there or not.
Do your own thing OP while they do theirs.

She’s quite sensitive and gets upset by violent things or even just if characters are being especially mean to each other. Obviously I don’t want to watch anything too ‘adult’ with her there.

Thinking about it more, I actually just think I hate the PlayStation and wish we had more space.