Do you feel guilty when you complain?

[gingertesco]

I'm just wondering this as when I complain totally justified. I feel even worse when they cover it up and then when they are exposed ignore you.

This has happened several times to me in say the last 10 years. Never before. I don't know if I am a pain in the neck or if it's just these organisations. I have had to get ICO or governing bodies to get things sorted.

Is this because these organisation handle complaints badly or I am a giant pain the neck.

I was speaking to my neighbour who has fallen out with a few neighbours so am I right in assuming other people make a fuss.

My guess is people do but are fobbed off with lies. What your experiences to gain some perspective.

Depends on what you are complaining about.
Depends on how you are complaining.
Depends on whether you are equally as vague and confusing with your complaints as with this post.

For the love of god I can't figure out what neigbour falling out with other neigbours has to do with complaints to misterious organisations.

I find that when I complain other people try to make me feel guilty about it. It’s your right to complain if you feel you have cause. It is better to give the other person a chance to put your grievance right rather than bad mouth them to other people.

I think it depends on the complaint and context. If you’ve bought a product or service which did not live up to the image it was sold as, or you have been let down by the company in some way that has inconvenienced you - I think it’s fine to complain and you shouldn’t feel guilty.

It’s also significant in HOW you complain - the most effective complaints are factual and clear - this happened, this is why it was bad, this is the fallout and this is what I’d like (e.g this meat I bought from you has gone off despite having 3 days until the use by date, it meant I couldn’t cook it for a meal I had planned which was disappointing - so I’d like a refund). Rather than overly emotional, sarcastic or rude (I bought meat from your terrible shop and it’s gone off!! Even though it is still in date!! I am disgusted with your company and the incompetent staff who let this happen. I demand compensation).

It’s also significant in HOW you complain - the most effective complaints are factual and clear - this happened, this is why it was bad, this is the fallout and this is what I’d like (e.g this meat I bought from you has gone off despite having 3 days until the use by date, it meant I couldn’t cook it for a meal I had planned which was disappointing - so I’d like a refund). Rather than overly emotional, sarcastic or rude (I bought meat from your terrible shop and it’s gone off!! Even though it is still in date!! I am disgusted with your company and the incompetent staff who let this happen. I demand compensation).

Amen to that! So many people write complaints where it's not often even clear what was wrong. As a former complaint handler I always sorted the factual first because they were so much easier nad faster to deal with.

@Sparklesocks ok but what about if you asked nicely and then they made you feel like a fool? Can you be ruder then?

You can still ask nicely but complaint just wouldn't make sense.

Then it's difficult to deal with it. Also depend on "feel like fool". They might have genuinely not want to do that but the person took it that way.

If you want actual helpful answers you must be bit more clear. In here and most likely in your complaints

(sorry hit sent too soon)

Most of my complaints are against my son's treatment. I have never had a need to complain about anything else. Such a as schools, nurseries, after school clubs.
I went with a charity advocate once as I thought is this me? Anyway she thought I put across my side extremely well but head teacher or whatever had already made their opinion about me. I have had many positive experiences of organisations but my son has a disability so I imagine that brings a different element to it.

gingertesco in what way do you feel like a fool?

I think you can be firm and clear but still maintain politeness

No. No guilt. I only complain when justified.

Tbf you can put your point across well but it gets lost if your point and complaint isn't valid. When you saw the advocate (are you in UK?) have you asked him to draw a letter for you?

@TheAverageJuror I understand that but I don't believe my claim has not been valid as I have ended up winning in courts and tribunals. I have made huge changes to big organisations that they now require 2 days training or enforcement action.

Admittedly it gets to that stage with me as first I try, being sweet and nice I'm work as a hairdresser so I deal with customers. Then I lay down the law a bit after that when when I'm totally disrespected I escalate the matter. Rarely does someone want to meet me to sort out the complaint. I've cost companies a lot in legal fees. Surely they could just deal with the complaints and apologise. They cause themselves and myself so my more stress by thinking laws don't apply to them or lying 🤥

I must be a complete pain in the neck though. Granted. Sometimes I do think I make things better for others standing up for equality.

The thing that you are talking about multiple companies and organisations is concerning for me. Either you are extremely unlucky or you nitpick.
Unless you are talking about 1 or 2.
You might want to stop being so vague

@TheAverageJuror I don't want to mention them by name. I don't think I'm nit picking.

For example

A nursery decided that you could give a disabled child a trial day to see if it suits, I argued this is discrimination, when it is only trialling the disabled child . I won

An organisation made personal comments about me in their website (ok complaining 😂) I complained to the ICO I won

I argued about an after school club club constantly phoning me at work really early to collect my son early when he has a disability and they can't manage without having any reasonable adjustments I won

This just a few examples of the top of my head I

May be it is nit picking? I do feel passionate about it and would rather someone just sorted it out.

I only complain if I have been really upset, I don't get upset or complain if it was an accident, I didn't when a lounge boy drop a pint on me, or when a young girl whacked DS in the head with her stock trolley.
I do complain if someone is rude or dismissive.
Ime a neighbour who has fallen out with a few neighbours, if one to avoid, you'll be the next victim.

From your list of complaints, I can see why you made them, it was necessary to get a place and ensure you child was looked after until the proper time in the place.
I don't see those as making a compliant, more as a concerned parent fighting for your childs rights.

Agree. That's not nit-picking. You don't have to name the organisation, it's understandable not to want to. But it's good to be bit more detailed like your last post.
I am surprised they still don't have proper adjustments!

Yes but what surprises me the most is I try to resolve these issues directly and was ignored, lied to or left humiliated. Why are so many organisations pig headed and just try and weasel out of things by deception?