Mum and I have recently had a falling out, it's not something that's entirely out of the ordinary. Just want some advice on this one.
Mum never travels to see me or the grandkids. Ever. I always travel to her. It's not that far, maybe an hour or so in the car, but it's hard work packing up a 2 year old and 5 month old to go out for the whole day, and quite often she wants us to stay for the night. Any time in the past, when she has arranged to come up and be with us, there's always been last minute cancellation or somebody's ill or "I've got to do this". She never seems interested in my life, and it's such a shame because I know that my son would love for nanny to come up so he can show her all of his toys etc. She's a lovely mum and nan in every other regard. She has the kids once a fortnight on a Friday so I can work. (Two week rota). This is always her excuse when I bring this issue up with her. She says that because I work she sees me often so she shouldn't have to travel to see us. But I've said I would really like it if my mum would come and see our new house, we've been here almost 6 months and she still hasn't travelled. She does drive, but she says she's not a confident driver so I've offered countless times to pick her up. Still doesn't want to. Annnyyway,
She arranged to come up today (hurray) but yesterday night I got a message from her saying "why don't you stay the night with us, and (husband) can pick you up on Friday." I felt really deflated and shit, because this always happens. So, I sent this message:
".... Even when I do come down to see you, (because for some reason you lot never want to come to us) you’ve always got something on and somewhere to be. On my birthday we travelled to you and you went off round the shops with dad, and then we weren’t allowed a cup of tea whilst I opened presents because you wanted to take the dogs out. One day, I’d like you to just clear your whole schedule and just hang out with us. All day. It’s far more effort for me to drive down with the kids and see you than it is for you to get a train. But I do it because I want to see my mum and DS to see his nan. I really can’t be making many trips to ** outside of my work hours because the fuel is costing an absolute bomb. It’s embarrassing when MIL and FIL ask whether you’ve been up yet, DH's grandparents’ have traveled to see us more times than you and dad and they live in 6 hours away. I find it really hurtful at times."
She then replies with:
"You're a dick."
And then lots of paragraphs saying I'm hurtful, spoilt, dramatic, etc. She always does this. I guess I'm asking, was I too harsh in my message? She does cover childcare when I need it, so am I asking too much of her? Thanks so much. X