To take a significant paycut for my own happiness

[Lauresbadhairday]

I am really unhappy at work. I work in a client facing role and I really like the work, the clients, my immediate colleagues and the convenience (ie 10-15 min commute) however the culture is toxic with senior management who are at best unsupportive and at worst bullying and anyone who tries to raise concerns/put their head above the parapet is put on 'performance management'. Staff morale is at an all time low and I can't see anything changing anytime soon.

I have been offered another job working with a slightly different client group but otherwise a similar job. I have got a good feeling for this new job and I am keen to take it, but (and it is quite a big but), this will mean a significant reduction in salary.

I have done the finances and believe that as a family we can absorb this reduction as my DH brings home a reasonable salary and, although we currently have a large mortgage, this could be offset by some assets we have.

I feel that I want to take this job primarily for my own happiness and I am worried that if doesn't work out then we will be worse off and for nothing.

This is more Am I Being Selfish rather than AIBU but I would welcome some thoughts/insight as to whether I should suck up the situation at my current job to bring home a better salary or make the change in the pursuit of my own happiness but with the lower salary and potential impact this might have on the family.

I reduced my hours a few years ago because my job sounded like yours and I realised my route to happiness was to spend less time there. The time away from the office builds my resilience to deal with the crap and gives me a light at the end of the tunnel (I don’t work Wednesdays so never more than today + tomorrow before a day off). It’s the best decision I’ve ever made. My outgoings are less because I’m not buying things to cheer myself up and I’m happy staying in cheap B&Bs rather than spa hotels because it’s less important for breaks to be perfect. If you can afford it then do it. Life is short, happiness is too important to compromise for anything less than life’s essentials.

I’d definitely do it. No question.

Ive just done the same switched roles because the first role was killing me phisically second job is now less hours hence less pay but at least i wake up each morning without a back that is killing me,

Lauresbadhairday

Do you work in a healthcare environment? I know how hard it can be if yes. I moved away from a client facing role and am much happier for it (you got a lot of abuse from clients and you were expected to accept this as a part of the role).

Is staff morale is low, most of the people you enjoy working with are likely to leave, and with this more pressure will be put on you to step up in their absence and train any new people too. That might be worth bearing in mind.

Do it. You’re a long time dead. DH and I both gave up lucrative roles for a better, stress free lifestyle. We dropped our combined income by £60k a year but are still comfortable and happy.

It would impact the family much more if you are unhappy every day at work. Do it!

Thanks everyone. It is reassuring to hear that others have done similar and it has been the right decision. And yes it is healthcare (no surprise there!) They can't recruit or retain staff and it is just putting more pressure on the rest of us.

I suppose frying pan/fire springs to mind but I really feel that I can't stay where I am long term. I just need to pluck up the courage to accept the new job. I will enjoy handing in my resignation!

Do you know anyone who has worked for the new employer? No point jumping ship if you find the management team at the new place are similar but for less money. I've worked public sector for a long time in different areas and found the beurocracy and target focus similar all round

Zippy this is what I am most worried about.

If just the two of you and you can still meet your half if the bills I'd say it would say good for it assuming you'd be happy for your DH to do the same or cut his hours etc.

If children and this means they have to go without things they have been used too, I'm not so sure and would find something in roughly the same salary.

I did similar thing nearly 4 years ago..i work in retail and stepped down from store manager to assistant manager taking a £8k drop. It was a tough decision, mainly because of personal pride and stubborness on my part but once i told my boss and sorted out my new role I couldnt wait to start.

I now have very little stress, I start and leave on time and don't take work home with me. No one has my phone number so im not available 24/7 and Im not chained to the area managers constant demands!.

If you can afford to do it then I would say go for it, I certainly have never looked back.

We do have DC but they are late teens so we don't have childcare costs etc however I am aware that they will continue to need some financial support over the next few years. I think we should still be able to cover this. As for my DH, he is supportive and when he was in a similar position a few years ago I was happy for him to give up work without another job to go to as he was so stressed. As it happens he managed to secure another job before it came to that.

I just don't know what to do for the best.

You should work to earn money to live not live to work. You get a better job to earn more money to live better, what's the point of earning money if you're not living with it? Take the pay cut

I did this last year and have never looked back. Finances are tight for us but we budget and manage. I'm so much happier though and the change in my mood ripples through the family and I am a better wife and mother for it. Go for it!

Go for it.
I was in very similar situation. Took a £400 pay cut, per month. Absolutely no regrets.
You can't put a price on reducing stress and being happy.

Do it! I did recently to escape toxic management and while it’s been an adjustment income wise for us all it’s certainly much better for my sanity. DH was onboard as well.

Best of luck!

I didn't take a pay cut but I did wave goodbye to further promotion. Took a long time to realise that's what I needed to do - it was a friend saying "work shouldn't make you ill" that made me realise.

Thanks again. It looks like I should take the plunge. As I say, it is reassuring to hear all these positive stories. I'm sure we can manage on the lower salary and I just can't see the situation at my current workplace improving anytime soon. I know I'm not happy and I feel that working there is turning me into a horrible person.

Thanks for the good wishes

I dropped a grade when I was working. I'd gone back after maternity leave p/t, my husband was newly disabled after being diagnosed with MS during my pregnancy, I was having to learn the physio to help my husband work again, caring for DS who was only 8 months old. It was too much, I spent the first of my three mornings reading all the memos I had missed & catching up on emails, I never had time to learn the new job I was doing, I wasn't sleeping & was constantly worrying about work. I dropped back to my old grade & job & was much happier, it was worth the £200 drop per month in wages to be happy & not worrying.