Pregnant need advice

[Lostcause24]

I really need someone who doesn’t no me to give me advice, long story short I was living with & engaged to my ex partner I got us the house I got him a car bought a dog etc 12 months later yes we had been arguing but I never seen it coming he dropped me to work one day & got his sister to msg me telling me it’s over he didn’t want to talk or know , I move back to my mums a week later I find out we are expecting I tell him the news he’s over the moon we go on the holiday we booked ages ago obvz I’m not drinking he is & he mentioned something that stuck in my head ‘Some girl was trying to flirt with me by putting kisses’ I didn’t push for any more info knowing I’m stuck with him for 3 more days , it kept playing on my mind so one night he asked to take me out for dinner I had been hatching this plan all week that’s I’m now going to call him out because something just wasn’t right bare in mind I’m 3 months pregnant not living with him & after the holiday he was just checking in the odd time over texts no phone calls I just had a weird feeling , so in the restraint I said “what u said on holiday has been playing on my mind this girl who was flirting with u I want some reassurance let me see the msgs for myself “ he started sweating colour drained from his face he was scrolling through his phone he told me he deleted it I said an innocent man wouldn’t of done that so I said why ? He said for storage but 5 mins before that when I asked what they were talking on he said fb so I laughed at his bad excuse n said u don’t need storage on fb bcoz how shady he was acting I wasn’t backing down so after he scrolled through his phone he handed it over he was msging loads of women etc the convo I wanted to c was clearly deleted I ended up walking out he didn’t chase me just text me saying I had it all wrong but Ino in my heart I never have I done the right thing for me & my child ?

Are you asking if you’re right to have ended the relationship because he was messaging other women? Probably. Is he going to be involved with the baby when it’s born?

Yeah you did the right thing, sounds well dodgy. Sorry you're going through this.

That was so hard to read without any paragraphs or punctuation!

First of all, how old are you both? This all sounds incredibly immature. He got his sister to text you to end the relationship? Am I right in thinking that you got straight back together after you found out you were pregnant? Why did you get back with him when he treated you so badly?

Even though you’re having a baby together, it does not mean you need to be in a relationship. From what you’ve said, he is definitely pursuing other women. Cut your losses now.

awww honey. offering you virtual hugs. Men can be such pigs. Do you think he's cheating or is just a bit of flirty texting? Are you going to allow him to be involved when the baby arrives? Would you take him back if he apologies? Sorry I'm asking more questions and not being really helpful.

Yeah he sounds like an idiot. I'd not want to be with a guy who made his sister dump me. What a coward. If he did that when your relationship was still fairly fresh and new, imagine what he will be like when your baby is here. Having a small baby, with the lack of sleep and sudden adjustments you have to make, can put strain on even the strongest relationships. How could you trust him not to just bail again?

With the erasing the kisses thing, I wouldn't be surprised if he made that up to make you jealous/more keen - but if he's messaging loads of other women anyway he's probably trying to get with someone else (even if nobody is interested enough to give him kisses!). That might explain why there was no message but he didn't follow you. Either way he sounds like a tosser.

My gut tells me that he cheated 100 percent but I guess I will never know for sure. He would never have the balls to admit it. I can’t get my head around the women in question that he mentioned to me out of the blue but then deleted all there messages. Just doesn’t paint an innocent man really. I would never use the baby against him he’s the father & I would like to hope he doesn’t let the baby down. I’ve told him & his family your all welcome to be involved , he can come to the scans etc this will be his 3rd child to his 3rd baby mother & it’s my first child. Never envisioned my
Life this way. My emotions are everywhere x

awww beb. try and stay positive for the little bean in your belly.

@otisandolive Sorry, my heads just abit melted & I didn’t expect anyone to reply. He’s 33 & I’m 25. I told him a week after I found out the news & then a month later was when we went on this holiday & he said what he did.
I guess the reason I got back with him was because this is my 1st child (although his 3rd I know another red flag I ignored) I guess I prayed it would work until that happened.

@annelovesgilbert Yes because there was a lot
Of messages to different women. As for being involved 100 % I will allow him that chance, I would never take that away from him ever.

@lemonsqueasy It’s life hun. Got my strong mask on, I’m just so confused deep down.

I’m sorry you’re going through this but you’re doing the right thing ending this relationship. He showed his true colours when he got his sister to finish it. Who does that past the age of 12?! The messages to other girls are the final nail in the coffin.

How involved is he with his other children and does he pay maintenance?

@otisandolive I know deep in my heart I’ve done the right thing hun. Exactly !!! And now he’s sitting around in a pity party messaging me now probably because he is going through a dry spell with the other women. As for his other kids they live in Belfast he pays for them how much I don’t know but in my eyes doesn’t see them as much as I think a father personally should. And when we were together I used to tell him that all the time & he hated hearing the truth x