To be annoyed with DS' school?

[User3billion]

DS is in Y6 at school. There are several sports tournaments throughout the year & in our area they're usually split to Y3/4 and Y5/6

DS is not a naturally sporty child & but is enthusiastic. He missed out on being picked in the main football & rugby tournaments earlier in the year as he wasn't one of the better players/doesn't play for a team outside school. He was naturally disappointed but understands why he wasn't picked. He played in a lower football tournament & competed in indoor athletics because no-one else wanted to

He's come home from school yesterday really upset that he's not been picked for the school cricket team. It's the one sport he plays outside school (there's only 2 kids in the class that do) and he's actually quite good at it.

He asked me to message the school & ask why he wasn't chosen, based on previous teams being picked based on kids playing the sport. The reply I got said as it was towards the end of the year that they were giving kids a chance who hadn't played much sport. This isn't actually the case when you see who's been picked.

AIBU to be bloody annoyed with the fact that they've changed the criteria for entry into a team?! I don't know what I expect to be done at this point I'm just upset for DS who'd been pinning his hopes on getting 'his chance' when cricket came around.

school sport is really poor from this perspective
at ours, the sporty kids get a sporty teacher and the crap kids like mine get glorified childcare in place of sport
just treat it as a life lesson in favouritism

mrsm43s I'm not sure how you (or the teachers for that matter) have come to the conclusion that he's not one of the better players?! Given they do very little, if any, cricket in school how the hell can they say who is better? And you certainly can't given you have no idea of his cricketing ability.

Is it really such a big deal? He’s got the whole of the cricket season to enjoy - let it go and enjoy his last few weeks of primary school without any animosity.
My dd once received a really crap report from her school dance teacher (who didn’t know she danced out of school). The following year dd went on to train at a vocational ballet school.
Teachers are busy and often have to make quick decisions. They haven’t time to have trials for everything. Don’t let your son take it personally. Also point out to him that if you make a complaint to the school another child would be removed from the team in order for your son to go. How would that child then feel?

@user3billion mrsm43s I'm not sure how you (or the teachers for that matter) have come to the conclusion that he's not one of the better players?! Given they do very little, if any, cricket in school how the hell can they say who is better? And you certainly can't given you have no idea of his cricketing ability.

I came to the conclusion based on the OP's own words:

DS is not a naturally sporty child
and
Instead they've picked the 'sporty' kids

The school will know ability levels, as they will have played cricket in games lessons and possibly afterschool/lunchtime practises, obviously. Or do you think the school fields teams for sports that they don't play in school? That's highly unlikely.

Ok, so you know what they do at my child's school better than I do, ok then. 🙄

Also, just because he's not naturally sporty doesn't mean he's not good at his sport. I wouldn't describe myself as naturally sporty but I held the school record for the 200m sprint when I was in secondary. I could go into his averages at club level (all recorded on Play Cricket) as he's played several games this season against competitive opposition.

Just because a child is naturally sporty doesn't mean they are the best at every sport.

@mrsm43s you're not my son's PE teacher are you?

I think this is bothering you more than him OP. This is just another lesson - life's not fair. Tell him to shrug it off and do the same yourself. It's not worth getting in a tiz over.

No, I'm not your kids PE teacher.

Its a reasonable assumption to assume that by "sporty kids" you mean kids that are good at sport - I'm not sure how else I should interpret it? The kids who are best at sports are often picked to represent the school, that is very common, and a valid selection criteria.

I don't know how your school picks teams, however I've been involved in quite a few sport teams inside and outside of school, and I've never known teams to be picked on unfair or arbitrary criteria or favouritism. Broadly its always been either ability/attitude or inclusivity/turn taking. Based on your own words, it seems as though this team was picked on a mixture of both.

It is unfortunate that your son's favourite sport is the last one of the school year, and so used as a mop up for kids who, unlike your son, haven't yet had their chance to represent the school.

Your son has had the chance to represent the school on more than one occasion by your own admission, plus he plays the sport he loves outside of school. That is not a bad position to be in.

I am sure your son would have loved to represent the school at Cricket, as would I am sure many other of the children in his class. However, there are not enough spaces on the team for everyone who wants to play to be on the team, so some children will be disappointed. Based upon the schools selection criteria, your son did not make the cut on this occasion.

It's so frustrating isn't it. Exactly the same thing happened to my Dd with the end of Y6 play. She had done a production after school as an extra curricular activity and the teacher, who loathed her, gave her a shit part using the excuse that she had already had a role in a performance. Whilst giving the lead roles to all her usual favourites who were picked for bloody everything. Hell it still gives me the rage remembering it. And she's at University now

Ursula I feel your pain!

I'd love to live in your bubble mrsm a world where everything is done fair & equitably. I'm not going to repeat my points as you're deliberately missing them.

I don't live in a bubble. I've had disappointed kids many times. My children are good at some things, average at some things and rubbish at some things. My daughter has never had a main part in a school play since being at secondary, despite being above average at drama and loving it, because she's simply not in the best 10 or so performers, and there's only so many main parts. My son is picked for some sports teams and not others. In fact, similarly to your son and cricket, my son never gets picked for the A team for his favourite sport, even though he does for the sport that is less competitive, but he enjoys less.

Lots of children will have wanted to play. Not all can. Your son wanting to play is not more important than other children having the chance to play. Your son has already had at least 2 opportunities to represent the school in sports, it is someone else's turn.

Just because your son didn't get picked, it doesn't automatically follow that the selection process is unfair or subject to favouritism.

The good news is, that he will be off to secondary next year, and the selection process for teams at secondary is generally very clear cut. It is generally the most able children who regularly show commitment and turn up to practise who get picked. If your son is talented with a good attitude, he will have his chance to represent his school in Cricket then.

YANBU. Congratulations to your DS for his maturity and resilience, and I wish him well in his cricket. Hopefully secondary school will be a bit better at valuing students for their individual talents. My DDs have had similar disappointments (but music and drama) so I get it. I sometimes wish I'd taught them to be a bit less polite and professional and a bit more sharp-elbowed and shouty!!