Double barrelled surnames

[RedHelenB]

Those of you with them, Just wondering what would your children do if they met someone with a double barrelled surname too.

I presume they’d just do whatever they felt like, like I did 🤷‍♀️

God these threads wind me up! It’s such a non- issue.

Presumably just make the decision most appropriate for themselves.

Our children have a hyphenated name. We have told them at every stage in their lives that they can drop one or the other name for practical purposes and neither their dad nor I will mind at all. They are young adults now, and still use their full names. Ds used one when he was playing a lot of football, but only in that particular context.

Incidentally, we never use “double barrelled” because it was an expression invented in the late 19th century by a Punch cartoonist to lampoon the privileged classes! So we always say “hyphenated”.

I chose what name to use on marriage (the one I have had from birth). My husband and I chose our baby's name, which includes both our surnames double-barrelled. I assume on marriage my daughter will chose what name she wants to use, and name her children with her husband, as we did. It's really not complicated.

Because @AtiaoftheJulii, if they get married, their surname could then be Mrs Robinson-Wilkinson-Harrison-Webster. Then, if that child married a similar, they'd have an 8-barrelled name. And so on.

Well, they could, if they wanted to.

Or they could just stick as Ms Robinson-Wilkinson, who happens to be married to Mr Harrison-Webster. Or vice versa.

And call their children Miss and Master Robster or whatever the hell else they fancy.

Interesting to see which names get dropped. Do you choose the ones which flow best together or keep the male side of the family?

Not this again.

I have 4 adult children with our double barrelled surname. DC1 only uses my original name day to day. The others tend to use either the whole name or just my bit. I use just my bit at work, and DH uses just my bit at his work.

One DC is married. They discussed between themselves - with zero input from anyone else, as it wasn't anyone else's business - and DIL dropped her surname and took DS's (our) whole surname. Then she decided she didn't like my mother and only uses DH's name . Their baby also has our full name.

So, essentially one of the ancestors name is eventually dropped anyway , it just takes an extra generation to do it.

not necessarily.

Maybe choose one from each of their names and create a new double barrel? No idea.

Apologies if this has already been done recently.

their surname could then be Mrs Robinson-Wilkinson-Harrison-Webster. Then, if that child married a similar, they'd have an 8-barrelled name. And so on.

In the modern world most namey things have a character limit like bank cards, driving licences, passports and so on. so you'd end up being
Mrs-Robinson-Wilkinson-Ha

or something equally ridiculous.

The most daft thing about all of this is that most surnames are paternal names anyway. All these women insisting on their surname being included double barrelled aren't striking a blow for feminism. If they wanted to do that, they'd have to not just use their mother's maiden name (Still being their grandfathers surname) but trace back through the maternal line as far as they could go and use that name.

It's not a dumb as the mash up name - Twigg marrying Watt and becoming the Twatts. It's unbearably chavvy.

Had clients once who used all 4 of the names......

All these women insisting on their surname being included double barrelled aren't striking a blow for feminism.

True. Reasons could be practicality, or not wanting to lose your own name but wanting to share a name with the kids, so hyphenating would be easiest if you also want them to have dads name. Just at the top of my head. There are a lot of reasons to do this.

I kept my name and DH is db'ed, so what we're calling this baby has been the subject of many discussions. He felt very strongly about passing on his DB name in its entirety, "first of his line, he and his DB only two in the world", etc. I don't think posters who go DB'ed often realise that whilst it is a good solution for their generation, not everyone (including men like my DH with a feminist DM) will be happy to "just drop one" when the time comes. I think there was a lot of guilt tied up in effectively picking a parent, so I applaud the forward thinking poster upthread who consistently tells her kids to use whatever they fancy and no-one will be offended or hurt.

Ultimately he is dropping his DM's as she tacitly gave him the nod that she wouldn't be upset. Baby is getting her middle name and if we have a boy in the future we'll use her last name as a middle name. Our DD can make whatever choices she wants with regards to her name, but I will be disappointed (hopefully silently!) if she does change to her partner's on marriage. But that will be entirely her choice.

“The most daft thing about all of this is that most surnames are paternal names anyway. All these women insisting on their surname being included double barrelled aren't striking a blow for feminism”

BINGO!!

Yes, Puppet, it’s amazing how men’s birth surnames are allowed to be ‘their’ names, but women’s birth surnames are just borrowed from their fathers until they persuade some guy up the aisle and joyfully throw off their starter name to become Mrs Pillock?

I know more than one man who changed their surname on marriage to their wife’s surname.

“I know more than one man who changed their surname on marriage to their wife’s surname.“

Do you? I’m so pleased to hear that. I know people who have taken a new name, and people who have hyphenated-but I don’t know any straight men who have take their partner’s name.

Well, two. The reasons were similar. Woman had a nicer surname and didn’t particularly want to take on the man’s much less nice surname. Both wanted to share the same name as they were now a family. Woman had only sisters and liked the idea of carrying her name forward, whereas man had brothers.

I don’t know any straight men who have taken their wife’s name. And I move on quite political / feminist circles.

And more often only the wife hyphenates: adds his name to hers, while he just has his.

Change of thought comes very slowly to men.

And this was a while back as well - at least 20 years. Neither were very feministy or right-on couples. They just did it for the reasons I said above. There wasn’t any hand wringing about it. Perhaps they were ahead of their time and didn’t realise.

I know two straight men who took their wives names and one guy who changed his surname from his dad’s to his mum’s as an adult as his dad was an utter dickhead.

I wouldn't be bothered. They could keep the name they had, take their partners', create a new one, drop a bit... it's absolutely their choice.

I do nursery admissions and have found alot of spanish and portugese people have 2 surnames. So if both parents are from these places they often both have a double name. Usually the child just has one of each surname.