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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Is it ok to be asked for photos by an eager man?

66 replies

juicylucytubes · 22/05/2019 14:39

Clean photos... photos of me going out for a night or an occasion . Just simple , facial
Photos ... except he is my friend and work colleague who is in a relationship and I am married ??

OP posts:

BishopofBathandWells · 22/05/2019 15:52

I agree with @MashedSpud. You sound quite flattered by it. Especially when you mentioned that he's younger than you. I think you also said that he doesn't message anyone else from work as much as he does you? I suspect you quite like the request.

BloodyDisgrace · 22/05/2019 15:52

I'd send him a youtube clip of the song "Creep".

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 22/05/2019 15:52

Ok - nicer option - maybe he's just a really visual person and he's trying to "see" where you've been by seeing photos. He sends you a lot too, so it may be a part of his communication set.

But on the other hand, maybe not. And I would guess you haven't told your DH yet because you don't want him to think badly of your friend, or prefer that you saw less of him or something.

Original poster

juicylucytubes · 22/05/2019 15:54

I should add perhaps , that as a man , he can be a little odd . A little inappropriate in work etc . Making a big deal out of me in the office or directing conversation at me , but I think little of it and take no notice as I am very happily married and he is like my little brother who is also I. A relationship

OP posts:

Original poster

juicylucytubes · 22/05/2019 15:56

I mentioned that he was younger than me to give context . He knows I am happily married so there is no reason in the world to think that there would be anything else going on in my Mind as far as he is concerned

OP posts:

gamerchick · 22/05/2019 16:04

You say you think little of it an awful lot, but you've thought enough about it to post a thread.

Be honest with yourself at least.

FlossieTeacakesFurCoat18 · 22/05/2019 16:06

It is weird even though he's made it seem very casual. Just tell him you can't be bothered and that's why you don't do social media either!

BossAssBitch · 22/05/2019 16:10

Course it's innapropriate. My DH would not be happy if I was sending photos to another guy, no matter how 'innocent'. Equally, I would be pissed off if he did the same

Bambamber · 22/05/2019 16:12

How would you feel if your husband asked a female for pictures of her going out and about? And how would you feel if he actually received them?

outsho · 22/05/2019 16:14

No that’s really strange, especially when he is married. He sounds like a creep.

TixieLix · 22/05/2019 16:19

Next time he asks for photos to be sent, just say you'll show him some when you're next in the office, and show them to him on your phone but don't send them. Alternatively brush him off by saying you didn't take any pictures, or you didn't take selfies as you don't like having your picture taken.

anothernotherone · 22/05/2019 16:20

I have a female friend who asks me to send photos if I go to vaguely interesting places. She's definitely straight (I'm female too) and also younger than me... I think she just likes photos she has photos from all her friends on her WhatsApp, she'll say "I really want to go to X city, my friend Jenny was there last week, look!" and show me a photo of someone I've never seen in front of a landmark ...

She's otherwise quite normal and somehow it's never struck me as odd even though it's not something many people do. I don't use social media platforms like Facebook/ Instagram to post photos and I don't think she does either.

So it might not be weird...

Original poster

juicylucytubes · 22/05/2019 16:41

I said that I think little of it meaning that I didn't give it a lot of thought as it didn't seem weird . I would be horrified of my husband asked a woman for photos or if he received them from a woman on a night out. I really never thought of it like this as he is nothing More than a very good platonic friend for years . It was after a family event at the weekend that he asked me to send some pics that I thought about it as I ignored the request but then he asked again . So alarm bells sort of went off . I can't even explain why . I would be very angry if I thought it was for some sleazy reason. He is such a nice and good man . I have never felt
Incomfortable around him from that point of view .he has a young beautiful girlfriend so it never crossed my Mind

OP posts:

HappyRoots · 22/05/2019 18:18

I just think always trust your gut feeling with these things. Something about this has made you think it's not quite right - enough to start a thread on here about it. I'd trust my feelings more. It could be innocent, but you're not sure so why risk it? You not sending pics shouldn't be any sort of issue for him. If he hassles you for them then his request was screamingly for an ulterior motive I'd have thought.

DarthLipgloss · 22/05/2019 18:49

This is how my last relationship started...I was 44, him 31...

Original poster

juicylucytubes · 22/05/2019 19:12

It always felt innocent but something changed for me when he asked twice . I'll keep a look out for anything else.
Don't understand how clean photos started your relationship?? I am
Feeling verynaieve and foolish right at this moment and am starting to blame
Myself for giving wrong signals

OP posts:

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