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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think she was being unkind

50 replies

Country123 · 22/05/2019 08:47

Recently been to a spa with a friend. It was our first time as it is a recently opened spa & hotel.
It all went well until we decided to treat ourselves with the afternoon tea. While we were waiting, we decided to have a look at the garden attached to the restaurant via a double French door. It was raining so the doors were shut, we opened it and it just automatically shut behind us( no sign or anything ). We had a quick look around in the garden and decided to go inside as the rain was getting heavier, then we realized that there was no way to open the French door from the garden and we were locked outside. The restaurant reception can not see us directly, and it was a busy time so we felt a bit silly really. So I just smiled and waved at the lady who was sitting about 0.5 meter from the French door, and pointing to the door from outside , hoping she would help us . She just rolled her eyes back and pointed to a different direction...so we thought there must be another entrance , we walked around the restaurant again in the rain, and realized there was no any other entrance ( apart from the fire exit we didn’t use it for obvious reason).So we came back to the French door again ! This time the lady saw us and just turned her back to us deliberately and kept on her conversation with her friends ! No other tables can see us directly apart from this one. I felt a bit upset but didn’t want to bang on the door to make a big fuss. Luckily in about 3 minutes a staff was passing by and let us in. She apologized to us and explained that we have to let the both door open so we won’t be locked outside again. She mentioned they would put a sign up soon as it is new restaurant. AMBU to think the lady sitting next to the French door was being unkind ?

OP posts:

howwudufeel · 22/05/2019 11:12

I can’t imagine a world full of people like hercule!

ChloeBella90 · 22/05/2019 11:13

Just plain mean.
If she was feeling unwell herself, what was to stop her mentioning it to a member of staff or asking one of the other people she was with to let the OP in?
Unfortunately there’s an attitude on this site from a minority of posters which means they don't think anyone should ever help out another person with anything because it’s ‘not their job’ as if it was some great hardship to open a door for someone in the pouring rain. If everyone had this attitude, the world would be a much more unfriendly place.

Lweji · 22/05/2019 11:14

Was she aware that she could have opened the doors? Could she assume the doors were locked?

I'm surprised you're not complaining about the spa instead. I'd have talked to the manager about putting notices or making sure the doors could be opened from the outside.

DHhasahobbyanditsnotcycling · 22/05/2019 11:15

If you were wearing the spa bathrobes, it's a very odd behaviour.

outsho · 22/05/2019 11:15

The excuses people make on here are hilarious. She wasn’t feeling unwell, she was a selfish arsehole. YANBU OP, some people are shocking.

ChloeBella90 · 22/05/2019 11:16

Was she aware that she could have opened the doors? Could she assume the doors were locked?
She didn’t bother even trying and just rolled her eyes and ignored.

herculepoirot2 · 22/05/2019 11:18

Oh, I’ll go out of my way to help anyone. I don’t always expect it of others but I am a real cross the road person.

Lweji · 22/05/2019 11:19

What I'm getting from the OP is that there was a lot of pointing and the lady could not have realised what the OP wanted.

Or she was very unkind.

OP, are you sure she understood what you wanted from her?

dabdabdab · 22/05/2019 11:20

That's so mean of her !

IWannaSeeHowItEnds · 22/05/2019 11:20

Plenty of things aren't technically the responsibility of others but we do them because manners and kindness result in a better society for all of us.
I'd have shaken my soggy robe over her, like a dog that's just had a bath

NomDeQwerty · 22/05/2019 11:23

Some people are just twats. Don't give her any more head space.

SerenDippitty · 22/05/2019 11:23

OP, are you sure she understood what you wanted from her?

What else could the OP feasibly have wanted other than to be let in?

Lweji · 22/05/2019 11:24

I think it's for the OP to answer, as she was the one who was there...

Rottielottie · 22/05/2019 11:26

OP, are you sure she understood what you wanted from her?
Yeah if you saw someone in the pouring rain in a bath robe standing by a door trying to get your attention, you’d just assume they were outside enjoying the glorious weather right?

Cryalot2 · 22/05/2019 11:26

Nasty piece of work .

CabbageHippy · 22/05/2019 11:27

I would of certainly opened the door for you but probably would of also laughed as it is exactly the sort of thing that happens to me

scarbados · 22/05/2019 11:33

Yes, she was as it wouldn't have taken long or much effort to open the door or alert a member of staff to the fact that someone seemed to be locked out.

How common is getting locked out at spas? I only ask because I went to one with my friend a couple of weeks ago, on the sort of day that the North Yorkshire coast specialises in - cold, wet, 40mph winds - and we managed to lock ourselves out as well.

Drum2018 · 22/05/2019 11:36

OP, are you sure she understood what you wanted from her?

Hilarious. I'm trying to think of reasons the op would try to get her attention. Maybe she was afraid you were about to flash her; thought you were giving her the glad eye; thought you wanted her tiny afternoon tea sandwiches; assumed you and your friend were about to start dancing for her; thought you'd arrived in your own dressing gown to get in for a freebie - ya, there are so many reasons op would have been trying to get her attention She was downright rude. If she didn't want to get off her lazy arse to open the door she could have alerted a staff member.

Original poster

Country123 · 22/05/2019 11:56

OP, are you sure she understood what you wanted from her?
To be honest , I didn't know what else could be in her mind ? That must be beyond my imagination ... unfortunately I didn't have her number so I could call her or text her from the garden to explain myself better

OP posts:

Original poster

Country123 · 22/05/2019 11:58

Drum2018
Your replies really made my day!

OP posts:

SerenDippitty · 22/05/2019 12:02

And she was only 0.5 m from the door. Really how much effort would it have been to open it?

Lweji · 22/05/2019 12:03

To be honest , I didn't know what else could be in her mind?

IME people's interpretations of other's actions can be quite odd. What is obvious to you, may not be to others.

But, if you are convinced your message was clear and she understood exactly what you were asking of her, then, yes, she was a twit.

And, did you say anything to the spa about the door issue?

littlepeas · 22/05/2019 12:04

What a bizarre little power trip. I don’t understand people like her, who seem to make such a huge effort to be horrible.

Geminijes · 22/05/2019 12:09

It would have taken her very little time at all to open the door.

I don't understand why anyone, when they have the chance, to help someone doesn't bother.

To me, she was very rude.

JacquesHammer · 23/05/2019 10:37

Of course she was unkind.

At the very least if she felt totally unable to open the door, she could have alerted one of the staff members in the restaurant.

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