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Original poster

How much do you leave your 12 year old alone?

27 replies

bodgersmash · 21/05/2019 23:19

I think that what I'm doing is fine but would like other opinions!

DS is home alone for about an hour after school.

If I ever need to go to the shops etc (5-10 minutes) then I'll go alone.

I'm also trying to exercise a bit more, so for example tomorrow morning I will go out at 7ish and then come home about 40 minutes later. Saturday mornings I go running from 6.45-8am roughly.

At the weekend he doesn't usually want to come on dog walks so I'll leave him home for an hour or so whilst I go.

Is this too much? Or is this the sort of thing where you can be led by the child and what they're comfortable with and safe to be doing?

OP posts:
MegBusset · 21/05/2019 23:23

Sounds fine to me, as long as he's happy. I leave my 12yo for similar lengths of time.

Pipandmum · 21/05/2019 23:24

I used to babysit at 12.
I certainly left my kids home alone at that age - up to about 4 hours. As you say it depends on the child, some are more responsible than others. I know people who work full time who leave their 13 year old at home all day during half term, let them take the bus into town etc. If you’d child is not distressed then it’s fine.

Skrowten · 21/05/2019 23:24

Sounds fine, I'm similar with 11 year old

justwonderingtbh · 21/05/2019 23:24

At 12 years old I went out at the weekend at around 11am and was always getting in trouble for being in after 7pm, which was my home time.

Skrowten · 21/05/2019 23:25

Kids today need more responsibility anyway

rainbowunicorn · 21/05/2019 23:27

That seems fine and would have been what my own kids were left at around 11 to 12 years. I think you are quite right that it should be led by what the child is comfortable with. Now at age 13 my younger child is more than happy to be left alone for the day when I am at work.

Original poster
bodgersmash · 21/05/2019 23:30

Yep DS would also happily be left home alone whilst I'm at work for six hours but I'm not ready for that yet, just feels too much. Not to mention that he'd spend the whole bloody time sat playing games on a screen!

OP posts:
MyBlueMoonbeam · 21/05/2019 23:31

I did similar with my DS.

When I was that age I was left far longer - Mum worked afternoons so I would have arrived home from school approx 4 & she would be home around 6.

Also stayed on my own in house in the evenings if Mum & her partner went to the pub/friends houses or even sat outside pub in car with partners DS - lemonade & crisps 😖 different days 🙄

MyBlueMoonbeam · 21/05/2019 23:31

DD not DS

BackforGood · 21/05/2019 23:36

Of course that is fine.
I would say on the 'cautious' side of fine.
I'd be happy with more than that. I do acknowledge it depends on all sorts of circumstances and also the personality of the young person.

I'd have thought most 12 yr olds ought to be able to cope with being on their own for the day when you are at work and they have a day off school tbh.

altiara · 21/05/2019 23:38

Will leave my 12yo DD for a few hours or even more when it’s school holidays/inset. Eg on inset day, she wasn’t going out with friends, so she had chores to do, plus walked the dog and collected DS from school. I know she will do a tiny bit of homework and watch loads of TV but I don’t need to worry about her safety. And I really enjoy coming home to a tidy house Grin
I just make sure I come home from work early so she’s not completely left aline all day.
Actually OP, I leave my 9 nearly 10 yo if I go to the shop nearby /out walking dog. As long as I’m reasonably close by, I’ll leave him for an hour. I just think if my car broke down, could I get back to him in about 20 mins walk.

Strugglingtodomybest · 22/05/2019 01:10

I think it's fine OP. Like you say, so long as he's happy.

GonzoFlyingProducts · 22/05/2019 03:36

LOL - He's a twelve year old boy - all he cares about is wanking.
He's not a pixie anymore. He's now a trainee bloke.
WAKE UP.
He LOVES it when you leave him alone.

IJumpedAboardAPirateShip · 22/05/2019 03:44

I leave my 10yr old for that kind of time frame - he loves having the house to himself

Tessalectus · 22/05/2019 05:36

Different times, but my sibling and I were left home alone for several hours when they were 9 and I was barely school age.

By age 10 I used to get a train to school by myself each day. We'd be left home alone for about 10 hours while my SP mother was at work.

We knew what to do in a fire and we knew not to open the door to strangers. We also knew how to warm up food for the day.

Maybe I have taken my attitude from my own childhood, but age 12 most children are fine home alone for several hours.

PositiveVibez · 22/05/2019 05:49

I leave my 10yo in the morning when dh is on earlies, to take the dog for a walk. Abt 30ish minutes.

I also leave her to nip the local shops.

She always has her phone with her if she needs me.

I will be leaving her for an hour after school, when she starts high school, depending on dh's shift.

I have no qualms about this.

OssomMummy1 · 22/05/2019 06:08

DS used to kill all the time in front of video games and telly. When he reached 10, before got addicted to social media, I pushed him out of the house with his bike. He learnt a couple of painful lessons from others, even fractured his elbow once. Now he is 12 and a well behaved kid. Still goes out cycling in the evening with 20 other kids of the locality but no more than a mile away from home, swimming on 2 evenings, training to play squash now since last 2 months. He is knackered by the time he comes back home, has his dinner and off to bed.

Fatted · 22/05/2019 06:14

At 12 my parents would happily leave us on our own for a few hours while they popped to the shops etc. Sounds fine to me.

PregnantSea · 22/05/2019 06:16

Totally fine, don't worry about it. Depending on if he can cook yet you could leave him all day if you needed to.

HaudYerWheeshtYaWeeBellend · 22/05/2019 06:17

Ds 13 can be left for hours on his own, he loves it.

NorthernSpirit · 22/05/2019 06:27

God he’s 12, cut the umbilical cord and give him some independence.

Aprillygirl · 22/05/2019 07:30

Lol @GonzoFlyingProducts that did make me laugh. As GFP so eloquently says OP most 12yr olds love to be left alone for a couple of hours,the time to worry is if they can't cope with being left alone at that age!

gingerbiscuits · 22/05/2019 10:45

My son has just turned 12 & is on his own for anything up to an hour after school every day plus the odd trip to the shops etc or dog walk that he doesn't want to come on. He's always got his phone & loves the independence!

pikapikachu · 22/05/2019 10:46

That's fine imo. My 12 year old can also cook if the time I'm out coincides with lunch/feeling hungry.

StealthPolarBear · 22/05/2019 10:49

Ds is only just 12 and I will now happily go to the shops or whatever and leave him. I also have a 9 year old so probably less frequently than if he was an only child. I wouldnt leave him for more than a few hours, more becaise I'd worry he'd spend all his time on x box than anything else. In an emergency I know he'd be fine

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