Advice Needed

[Paddy1234]

Just need some guidance
My DD is 16 - healthy weight and good attitude to food.
Her friend (not best friends as different schools but catch up every so often) has been slowly losing weight for about 8 months. For the first few months no one actually realised. However her friend has now been off school for three months and is very close to being admitted to hospital. She is currently maintaining her weight but not gaining.
Obviously her parents are beside themselves and asked the parents of friends to visit.
The mother in me would encourage it but my head says steer clear as I know it sounds terrible but I don't want my daughter to see the ravages of anorexia
I am completely torn.

To be honest it's probably better if she does see the ravages of anorexia rather than the glamourised side! It will be difficult for her no doubt but I think it could also be enlightening, and of course her friend will appreciate it!

This sounds rather like you want to hide mental illness from your daughter. If so, YABVU

A good friend would visit her mate in hospital. Also, what Nearlythere1 said.

She should visit her friend and offer support. Think if it was your daughter you’d want her to know her friends were not abandoning her.

I think it would help them both - your DD so she can see the effects that ED have on a person and not just the glamorous version you see of celebs like Posh Spice, to name just one. Also for the friend to have some normality in her life as well as a friend's support.

You're trying to shield your child and I see the position you're coming from but this is real life, a first hand experience, an important lesson

Saw this today

Thanks everybody I appreciate your replies. I haven't shied away from any issues at all - I purposely have never had scales in the house in order for my daughter to find her natural body weight.
Yes, I think she would not be a good friend if she didn't visit, I myself have never shied away from dealing with issues with friends but it is so much more difficult when it's your own daughter. I will speak to her and she can make her own decision. I won't force her but I will tell her if she decides not to go, she needs to explain her reasons directly either to her mother or her friend but not shy away from it.
Thank you

I think you should definitely speak to her and warn her it will be a shock. Good luck!x

This is a really useful and sensible site which offers advice about how to support people with eating disorders.